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We moved in with our inlaws not even a month ago, grant you they are very kind people when I guess that want to be, but very judgmental more so my mother in law not father in law. I spoke with my mother in law, before we moved in and during the couple of weeks since then I love Halloween I have lots of decorations and love to decorate.

Her first reply before we move in..this is your house you can do what you want. Which we all know is a complete lie, its her house.I knew this was going to be awful.

Anyway, I haven't really brought all my things yet, I figure I would start slow. I brought my Jack Skellington hanging figure. After all, he's not scary, he's a freakin Disney character. First I had him sitting on the couch in the living room no one ever goes in except holidays. He's moved to another chair, I place him back. He's moved again. I put up again.. This am I go to drop off my daughter at her bus stop this morning, I go to my bedroom to get ready. Guess who was moved into my bedroom. Yep Jack Skellington. I am fuming mad, this is crap. I hang it off the window banister in our room and walked out. Fuming texting my husband what bs this is- he replies he'll speak with it.

As I about to walk out of the hell I am living in and go for a walk to cool off, she says to me "I am sorry he's too scary and it gives me the creeps." I reply... he's not scary he's a Disney character.. she replies...Mickey is a Disney Character. Then she tells me.. I can put pumpkins and scarecrows..which means I am allow to put out cute stuff and that's it. I am beyond pissed and so upset. I am middle age woman who loves Halloween has decorated and loves Halloween since I was a child. Now, I have to stop doing what I truly love before my 65 year old mother in laws does not approve of Halloween. She even brought the reglion into the conversation.. please I grew up catholic and I have never heard crap in my life.

Sorry just needed to vent..
 

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I'm not, nor have been in that situation, but we had thought of moving into my in laws once.... ONCE. After giving it real thought, I decided I couldn't do it, not even for a few months.

You should look at it this way, if it's a temporary situation, it's just that. one halloween won't be the end of it all.
 

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I have been in the same situation before ... Only with my own parents ....and one of my friends made a great suggestion and so I am passing it on to you ...decorate your room how you want .... Then your other decorations ... Well share them with a friend who doesn't have much but would get the same enjoyment out of them ... You could let them borrow them and help,them setup etc .. And then you and the friend would benefit from seeing your decorations .. Or .. Even go and talk to your inlaws neighbors ans ask them if they would like for you to decorate their yard with ur stuff ..or even an elderly person's house ..... Who isn't able to decorate .... Hope this helps
 

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Yup. Keep the indoor decoration confined to your bedroom. I second the idea about decorating at a friend's and/or a neighbor's house that is more into Halloween than your in-laws. It will be much more fun to spend your time and energy with people who want to embrace the holiday than to create tension and discord with people who don't share your enthusiasm. Good luck.
 

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I can understand being disappointed that you can't decorate for Halloween. But being fuming mad about it is over the line. I agree that you should keep the decorations in your room and not impose them on your in-laws, who obviously won't enjoy them. Arguing with your 65 year-old mother in-law that something isn't scary, when she feels it is, is childish and disrespectful.

It's their house, their rules. I could say more but I'm not looking to start a fight...
 

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Bottom line, it's not your house. I'm sure your mother-in-law had every intention of letting you decorate but she has limits. Everybody has different levels of what they feel is acceptable when it comes to Halloween. Cornstalks and Pumpkins sound awesome to me. Take what you can get and decorate your room. I cracked up at the moving Jack Skellington. Imagine finding him in the bathroom...that would scare me!
 

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You're staying in someone else's house. Been there, done that. Just gotta grin and bear it. And for what its worth, not being able to decorate for Halloween is far from the worst thing a roommate can put you through. Trust me, try living with my sister in law for even a week. She's a nightmare even when she's in someone else's home. I could go in to detail but I'm not trying to be all "oh you think YOU have it bad, well listen to this!".
 

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I can understand being disappointed that you can't decorate for Halloween. But being fuming mad about it is over the line. I agree that you should keep the decorations in your room and not impose them on your in-laws, who obviously won't enjoy them. Arguing with your 65 year-old mother in-law that something isn't scary, when she feels it is, is childish and disrespectful.

It's their house, their rules. I could say more but I'm not looking to start a fight...
I agree with this... i have no knowledge of your situation, but it sounds like they are doing you a favor. Dont look a gift horse in the mouth
 

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I understand that you are upset, I'd be upset too if I couldn't decorate for Halloween like I wished to. I don't know the circumstances behind you moving in with your in laws, but unless you moved in as a favour to them, to help them out, I don't think its fair to expect to be able to do as you please.
If the show were on the other foot, would you be ok with someone else doing something to your home that you weren't comfortable with?
 

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My husband is not a halloween person but tolerates holiday decorations I buy and put up. He pretty much feels that means decorating outside so I can tell you he wouldn't be pleased if I set up stuff inside let alone more than a month ahead of time inside that he would have to look at daily. He will tolerate some decor items but not props. My parents feel the same way as he does and they never had a problem handing out candy, buying us kids costumes or walking us around ToTing. So I guess you can say I'm not surprised if your MIL keeps moving your interior decorations/props around and finally put them in your room. She may have said she didn't mind the halloween decorations but felt you would set up a few days before Halloween outside possibly. Really don't know what your discussion was with her. Before I would get upset that she moved things I would clarify what her expectations were. Probably the best time to have approached the subject was when they were first moved. Sounds like it has turned into a tug of war of sorts that you have lost. Not worth the bad feelings especially if you love your husband and need a place to stay. Given the circumstances I would understand your frustration better if it were your house and your in laws moved in to stay with you and were moving around your stuff.

BTW better to get the frustration out here than with the family from my experience!
 

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Wow. That's a frustrating situation to be in. I just hope it's temporary. It's horrible not to be able to be yourself in order to maintain peace. I didn't have my own place to do what I wanted with until my late 20s and had to stifle my intense love of Halloween until then, so I can relate.
 

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I am at the other end of this story...my daughter, son in law, two children (5 years, 19 months) and their dog will be moving in with me next month. I am the one not able to put up my decoration because of room constraints and age of children. I am foregoing my village houses this year and that is huge as I have over 36 linear feet of them ( 36' x 3'. Approx). Some of my scarier and fragile decorations are not going to see the light of day either. I am 64 and LOVE halloween and always have. My advice is to take a breath and be the bigger person (aka Adult) and just wait until you can put them up next year or the year after that. Do your bedroom to give you a fix. Being pissy about this will only make life miserable for everyone. Another thought is to ask your mother in law to help you decorate....that way you both may win. Well, it's worth a try....if she refuse then she will be the unreasonable one...not you. Good luck.
 

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I bet you could sneak some more things besides just pumpkins and scarecrows... I mean, you have to have a couple of crows with that. And you know, JOL are carved pumpkins. A bit of spider web outside on the bushes should be expected. Orange lights of course.

I would stick with more ... normal halloween decorations.... rather than what we enthusiasts have.

And if your MIL is anything like half my family... you better have those decorations down on Nov. 1st... sometimes it takes me a week or two to get everything down and I get comments like 'well you usually leave all that up until about January dontcha?'
 

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My mom hates Halloween. As a matter of fact my folks were married on October 31st. When their 50th anniversary came around I asked them if we could have the party a month earlier (they live in another state) so that A, I could take my dad to the Nebraska/Washington football game and so that B, I would be able to have my home haunt at Halloween. I'll throw in C...you never know what the weather in the mountains is going to be that time of year. While my brothers and sister-in-law gave me crap, my mom said that sounded like a great idea...then again, I'm her favorite.

On the flip side, my former girl friend's mom wouldn't go in my backyard because I have a couple of gargoyles out there. Guess where I was when she came to visit? :)
 

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My husband and I lived as "interns" in a Christian on-campus mission building. We lived in an apartment in the back of the building that was converted office space with very little privacy. Even though we met some wonderful people, it was some of the most stressful years of my life living and working there. (We haven't lived there for a couple of years, but I can hardly bring myself to go visit - it makes me feel like I'm going to have a panic attack.) The first year that we lived there, I asked the director and his wife if they minded if I put up seasonal decorations throughout the year, and planned little "parties" (like an Independence Day party, Valentines and candy on V-Day, etc.) They were completely fine with it, and already had quite a few decorations for different holidays in storage, including Halloween. Of course, I was super excited to put out the Halloween decorations when the time came, and bought a few of my own. I kept it generic, with jack-o-lantern cutouts, spiders, and colorful streamers in purple, orange, and black. I stayed away from witches and monsters, because we invited all religions and denominations, as well as children, and wanted to keep it from being scary. The director's wife and a bunch of the students complimented the directions, and were excited about the "Halloween" movie marathon I had planned. A couple of days later, a member of a church that helped financially support the center saw the decorations, called the director's wife, and told her that whoever decorated the building had "gone pagan." Because of that one person, I was told to take down all of my hard work. It was so upsetting. So, I understand what it's like to be told it's okay to do something you enjoy, then told the opposite later on. Just remember to choose your battles, and, in this case, I think the people who have suggested to decorate your room, and maybe loan the leftover decorations to a friend/help them decorate are giving sound advice!
 

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I think to some people a skeleton is "scary" no matter if it's made by a Disney company or not. Disney does put some "scary" stuff in their movies other than Nightmare Before Christmas. Though, at the time also, Nightmare Before Christmas was made by a more adult orientated division of Disney (rather than just pure Disney film)- called Touchstone Pictures. Anyway, back to just Disney films; you can look at the Lion King with Scar & the hyenas. They can frighten people. Snow White has a hunter going after her trying to take out her heart + the evil Queen.

You have to look at Jack, the skeleton from a person that doesn't like any Halloween/horror movies at all. To me, I don't think Jason, Freddy, Leprechaun, Ghostface, or Jigsaw are scary at all, but I know that there are people that just shiver the moment they see any of those characters. It gives them nightmares.
 

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I feel your pain as well! It's hard to live with others especially if they are family! Hope you can find a way to make this Halloween fun / special, and not let anyone ruin it for you!
 

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I can understand your annoyance, it's very difficult to be living under someone else's roof and basically being relegated to the 'child' status again. To be fair, it's her house. If I were moving into someone else's house I'd be following their rules.

Sure. She's been childish by just moving it without mentioning it to you in the first place. But it's just as childish to return it.
Have you considered that it might be a bit smoother if you ask her before you put things out? I've found in the past that people find it harder to decline without looking like a jerk if you spring it on them.

My suggestion would be this. Front your MIL with another item and say "I love this and it's a tradition for me to put it out, do you have any ideas where it would look good? You have a really good eye, and I bet you'd think of a much better place for it than me!".
If you do that, it's harder for her to say that she doesn't want it out because she'd have to think of a good reason off the cuff. If she says no because it's too scary for her, RESPECT THAT. We all have different fear thresholds and it's her house. I say this with all due respect. Whether you want to be there or not, you don't have the right to be cranky about what she does and doesn't want in the environment that she owns.

BUT chances are if she's just doing it to 'assert her dominance' (I've lived with housemates who do this... MAN does it cheese me!) chances are she won't be able to think of a way to say that you can't have it out without sounding like a jerk. Then because you've primped her ego by saying that she is better that something than you, ie. having a good eye, she'll likely be subtly co-opted into allowing something that she otherwise may not have.

Vent away, it's hard living by someone else's rules when you've been independent for a long time. Just hoping the subtle method works better than passive aggressive reactions :)
 
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