Halloween Forum banner

1 - 20 of 36 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
41 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hi everybody!

Sorry if this question was already raised, but how do you feel about ToTs (in my experience generally older) who come and ask for candies but they don’t have a costume or not even a mask or something?

I don’t get too many, but they still annoy me a bit - I would like to tell them, “well, if you feel you are too old to dress up on Halloween, you are also too old to trick-or-treat” but I always end up not saying anything and give them some candies anyway :(

Do you point out to them their lack of Halloween spirit? Do you give them candies?
We generally have quite some ToTs and it seems a “waste” give away things to those who don’t even put a little effort - but maybe I just don’t understand the lack of enthusiasm for Halloween, since I like it so much :D

Any opinion, input, personal stories it’s greatly appreciated!
Thank you!
 

·
Jumpin' Jack Flash
Joined
·
1,235 Posts
i've always been conflicted over this, because on the one hand, you want kids to have fun with halloween and at least put a little effort into making a costume rather than just mooching candy off everyone. it's not that much trouble to put together at least a simple costume.

on the other hand, you never know what those kids' situation is either. maybe their family can't afford a costume, or their parents won't help them put anything together. there may be reasons besides laziness that they aren't in costume.

fortunately this is a fairly rare thing most of the time. there are almost always a few, but only a few, so it doesn't seem like a big deal. if it looks from the situation that they're just too lazy or too "cool" to bother (i.e. if it looks like they're with siblings, and the others are in costume or something like that) i may joke with them about it and give them a hard time, but otherwise i usually just let it slide.

now, the same people coming back multiple times (ESPECIALLY if not in costume) is another matter entirely. :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
690 Posts
It does annoy me also. And it is usually teenagers without a costume wearing a backpack backwards to put candy in. They dont even bother saying anything!!! I usually save the crappy candy for them 🙂 I dont say anything due to the fact they could come back and vandalize my display. We live in a rough neighborhood.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,271 Posts
It used to bother me as well to have older kids (mostly teens) coming to get candy and not be in costume. Then I started thinking about other worse things they could be doing. While they are trick or treating they aren't out drinking, or vandalizing, or stealing, or in other ways causing trouble. So long as they are not being rude or pushing the younger kids or taking their candy I happily give them a treat. Often times teens kinda do the TOT thing last minute so they really don't plan out a costume. Being age 14-17 is an awkward time. They are still kids who want to do kid things like TOT, but at the same time they want to be adults or treated like adults.

I told my kids over and over as the were growing up that they are only kids for 18 years and Lord willing they would be adults for 80-90 years so don't be in such a hurry to grow up and enjoy being a kid for as long as you can. It broke my heart when they stopped believing in Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and when they thought they were too old to dress up in costumes and TOT. It meant my babies were growing up and soon would be leaving home and wouldn't need me as much.

So welcome that teenager who is not in costume as they are still grasping at being a kid for just a bit longer.
 

·
Celtic Spirit
Joined
·
2,099 Posts
I get a few, usually teenage boys. I always give them candy but lil ole sarcastic me has to give them some flak first. I may something like, "Ooooh creppy costumes, scary." Or "You know, if your dressed up, you'd have a lot more fun." One time I had a mixed group, boys and girls, all in costume except one boy. You could tell by the bored attitude he was too "cool" to dress up. When he opened his backpack (it's always a backpack) I said, "What are you? A girl dressed like a boy? Pretty good, but a mustache would have made you look more like a guy." Immediately his friends started laughing and ribbing him, I bet it took a while for him to live that one down.

But my favorite is one year, it was late, I haven't had any tots for a while, when the doorbell rang. It was three teenage boys with their backpacks open and not one word from any of them. Not a trick or treat, nothing. So, I said, "Can I help you?" I get the look like, "really lady?" "Guys, if you want candy you could have at least dressed up." "We are dressed up." "Oh yeah, what as?" "Losers." I cracked up. "Alright, you made me laugh, hold on I'll get you candy." :D
 

·
His name is Roger Clyne
Joined
·
9,403 Posts
Meh, I don't care much either way. This isn't a huge problem around here any way. I don't wanna keep the candy after Halloween so the less in the house the better.

Every few years we get those kids that just put on their sports uniform because they feel like they're too cool (& therefore too old) for ToTing yet they still want the candy & really aren't too old for it. They're usually the ones with pillowcases too so you know they're in it for the candy.

I've only had the costume change thing happen once, waaaaaay back in the 80s. I knew who it was & gave them the bag anyway. I didn't even care back in the day. I did say "Haven't I seen you before?" but gave them the candy anyway. I think it's kinda funny that they thought I wouldn't notice but I did. It's like they thought they were the first people to think of it!:D So I went with it.

If you ring my doorbell on Halloween night with or without a costume you get my treat bag.
 

·
The Haunting Girl
Joined
·
854 Posts
I actually haven't seen this yet, but I live on the edge of town (it's tiny, but still annoying to get to my section). I only get about 40-50 ToTs that actually make the journey over to my display and actually try to collect candy. I give out full sized bars so it's easy for me to count, but we discovered two years ago that there are a fair number of people actually too afraid to come up to trick-or-treat. So the rule is that if you make it to the front door you get candy. I do keep a bowl of backup/coward candy that is the fun-sized stuff we've been trying to give to the kids in the street that don't want to come up. Surprisingly there were not many takers for that, but my husband is a big guy dressed up as undead caretaker/gravedigger so I guess they thought maybe it wasn't a good idea to take candy from him?
I suppose if I did get someone who wasn't "dressed up" as long as they are in the spirit and not rude to others, they would get full sized candy. If they were jerks and obviously totally just farming for free sugar, they'd get the fun-sized. I don't need to give anyone a reason to trash my display.
 

·
Typical Ghoul Next Door
Joined
·
6,714 Posts
Everyone gets candy at my house. Even the parents. The surly teen with the backpack or the grocery bag. The baby that is obviously too young to eat candy but the proud parents couldn't resist putting them in a costume and packing them around the block with a bag themselves...

The one night of the year where all that come out should be rewarded.

Y'all are forgetting that "Trick or Treat" isn't just a silly saying... it's an implied threat. Give them a treat, or you might get tricked. :D

What about the kid that can't afford a costume or feels stupid for really just wanting to go be a kid again and get candy? Let them be a kid a little bit longer and don't give them crap for doing so. What are they hurting? I smile REALLY BIG at them, tell them Happy Halloween and they always smile back and say thank you almost 99% of the time.

Something lots of folks keep forgetting is that many kids lack imagination to put together a simple costume now, so unless they can scrape together money to go buy one, they really don't have the skills to make one at home. And the ones that may have the imagination, might not have any money to get the basics or have parents/siblings/friends that will treat them like absolute garbage for wanting to do something creative - like making a costume - and they'll end up feeling caught between being a kid and going TOT and worry about whether they'll be made fun of or bullied for doing so. Many times that surly teen is just a kid that wants to just have a little fun one more Halloween.

Or what about the kid that has sensory issues or other mental/physical issues that might make it hard for them to wear anything other than their normal clothes? I know of two kids in my own neighborhood that are sensory issue kids/autistic that dearly love Halloween and TOT, but can't wear costumes without causing panic. Or the older child/young adult that may still be mentally a child? You want to make them feel terrible for having issues, or make them or their parents try to explain at every single disapproving house why they're not in costume? Why would you want to risk making some poor kid feel bad about something they can't control... all because they just wanted to be a kid and trick or treat on Halloween?

I ADORE Halloween. I'm not however the Halloween Police. I'm not going to say "you are too old/too young/no costume" and deprive them of the fun and enjoyment of the night. I want them to have a good Halloween - and all I require is a bag so I can give them their candy, and attempt to say the magic words - TRICK OR TREAT and they will get candy at my house.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
865 Posts
As others have said, everyone gets candy that rings my doorbell on Halloween. I don't care if they are in costume or not, nor do I care about age. If they out going door to door, they are celebrating Halloween. At my house, Halloween is unconditional. It's a night of fun and mischief. Sometimes the mischief is not wearing a costume.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
659 Posts
As long as thet arent rude, they get candy. I get more miffed if they are rude. Its simple: say Trick or Treat and thanks and you get candy. :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
239 Posts
we're lucky, the tot-ers in our neighborhood almost always dress up.
even the groups of teens who don't at least try to look like they were going for a theme so they can say they're a band. 😛

my mom gives out glow sticks in addition to candy, so we always get lots of tot-ers. 😄
 

·
E Pluribus Bitum
Joined
·
880 Posts
Everyone gets candy. Adults, teens, kids, if they come to our door on Halloween they get candy.

As for teens not in costume, there's a huge possibility they are in one and I don't recognize it. You can ask what they're dressed as. You might get, "I'm a homicidal maniac, they look like everyone else," ala Wednesday Addams, or you might get something else. I like the idea of asking them to make up something creative on the spot to earn their candy. heh. But I think of pop culture and all the tv shows that have characters they could be dressed as and I'd have NO clue because I don't watch most modern tele or movies? I don't want to leave someone out in the cold candy-wise for something like that. I saw a YT personality I thought was wearing regular clothes, but he was some Stranger Things character. Maybe someone's like Oz from the ep of BTVS, wearing everyday clothes, and a nametag under his lapel that says, "God."

And, like someone else said, I don't know the story of their life, and I'd rather them go door to door and have a cool time reminiscent of their childhood fun than loiter about with idle hands, so to speak. Maybe they're doing both. I don't know, and since I don't know, they get candy.

We used to have a home haunt nearby, and last year, the line from that went past our house and down the street and around the corner, and it was awesome. We had every age and dogs come to our door. Everyone got candy, but I didn't have anything for the doggos. I might get a little box of dog treats and ask the humans with them if the dog can have one, but that home haunt is not going to be there this year, and I don't know what to expect in terms of TrTers. Le sigh. All because someone called and reported them and it turned out they did not have the proper permits or insurance, and they can't afford them. :/ So that's one local tradition that's gone. I imagine we'll have people who don't know that come by, though, and maybe we'll still get the high numbers. Probably not the dude dressed as Neptune who gave an amazing speech as he approached the door, but that was awesome. lol

I just want it to be a fun night for everyone. And they don't even have to say "Trick or Treat", because there are nonverbal kids out there who are barely able to do the door-to-door, but are making incredible memories. We have a special needs school nearby with lots of autistic kids, no way am I leaving them out if they happen by.
 

·
Soccer and Lacrosse Dad
Joined
·
1,766 Posts
Halloween is about the kids. Young or old, costume or not, I don't care. If it makes someone happier we did what we're aiming to do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
869 Posts
We have the teenage kids drop by our house most years. We always ask them what they're supposed to be and see just how inventive they can be with their explanations. But they get candy. If they come back late in the evening and we still have candy left over, we tease them a bit about double dipping and the dangers of too much candy. We explain to them that we are what people who eat all the left over Halloween candy look like, and they really don't want to wind up like us. :) But they get the candy. Most of them are surprised that we take an interest in them being out and encouraging them to have fun. So if nothing else, they get to see our hard work in the front yard and we don't have left over candy at the end of the night... well... at least not as much candy left over at the end of the night. We didn't come by our rotund shapes by giving it all away.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
176 Posts
They're dressed as your typical teenaged-slasher-flick victim. You just need someone at your house to play Jason, and the scene is complete.

Kidding aside, I do this for me, as much as for them. if I start letting their lack of Halloween spirit get me down, that spoils my fun too.

And it could be that they are getting the unfortunate but pervasive societal message that Halloween is just for the younger set. ("Aren't you a little old for Halloween?" grrr, I hate it.) They're at that in-between age where it's embarrassing to be seen as childish, but they don't want to be pushed out of the fun. It's really unfair, because the adults get to celebrate by bringing their little ones out, and the little ones get to celebrate just 'cause, but the teens are excluded.

Of course, one of the best ways the teens can participate is by helping haunt the house....
 
1 - 20 of 36 Posts
Top