Here's a few I've said:
"Tell me you didn't just throw that paper towel roll away."
"No, that's not trash. It's my dryer lint!"
"Tell me that wasn't my skull that just hit the floor!"
"No, I don't actually use this brand of toilet paper, I recycle it."
"Don't use the Viva paper towels, they're for corpsing."
"No I don't keep the cardboard tubes from the good TP--the ones in the cheap stuff are more sturdy."
"Hmm...I wonder if I can make a pumpkin out of that?"
"Just throw the skeleton in the closet with the rest of them."
"No, don't throw that away. I'm saving all the tissue paper from the baby shower for Halloween projects."
"Hmm... wonder if I should throw this dirty used dryer sheet in the washer."
And one just uttered this afternoon, "Damn it hurt when I stepped on that skull."