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So, we are registered for our local 4th of July parade... we have our float planned out, complete with talking skeleton. We want him to give out some information on our haunt, but mostly direct people to our new website (Coming soon: A brand new website!). The problem is, I suck at writing scripts. Here is what I have so far:

It’s coming this October… One of Iowa’s most highly anticipated haunted houses. Visit Coming soon: A brand new website! for details.

Over 20 elaborate scenes and tons of one of a kind special effects and animatronics are designed to scare even the toughest person.

What’s the matter… never seen a real-life skeleton before? If you think THIS is amazing, visit Coming soon: A brand new website! for information on even cooler and scarier things coming this October.

Get lost in pitch black mazes, make your way through bug infested swamps, and more this October.

See one of the most elaborate charity haunted houses Central Iowa has ever seen… visit Coming soon: A brand new website! for details.

Some of the most sophisticated computer technology controls Hollywood style special effects and elaborate audio-animatronics to create scenes that are SURE to scare.


I'm trying to keep each thing short and simple, and he will say random phrases every 5 seconds or so. Any Ideas on what else he could say?

Edit: Looks like the links are changing since we don't have our actual site up yet. Without the spaces, our site will be: www . extremehauntedhouse . com
 

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I think that your just a bit overwhelmed with many ideas & concepts to try to pass along to potential guests.

The parade float only travels at say 5 mph & can cover so many people (both sides of the street) at short time. In that time you only have say 30 seconds or so to convey the message. You really have to wow'em with your float. Since it's during the day, haunt lighting is out. But, I'd suggest playing some Midnight Syndicate (fairly loud) to draw their initial attention. If you can run a fogger & chiller on the float, that would help too. Have cloaked minions giving out a 2-1 tickets to it.

Doing this might help for suggestions:

think of your talking skeleton as a circus barker.
Example "Hurry... hurry... hurry. Step right up & see the amazing ....."

Write a list of things that you want to tell people about your haunt.

From that try to say those things in a short descriptive sentence.

Try to keep it light & funny when you can.
 

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I think I'd leave most of the tech stuff out and leave the web site, contact info,etc. to signage on the float...People will remember a visual sign much longer in their brains than the skull saying it....Use him to tell everyone about the scariest place on EARTH!...Hearing him say things about 20 rooms of techie stuff won't impress them near as much as basic stuff like "If you think your brave enough to venture through the darkest crypts,etc,etc...I DARE you to try to make it back...Alive that is...HAHAHAHA!!!"...That kind of thing with a killer float would make me want to go NOW....I'd put a good bit of effort into the float too...Cool scary float=Cool scary haunted house...Cheesey float wouldn't make me want go see a percieved cheesey haunted house....Good Luck....This is just my opinion and I don't have any professional background so take it for what it's worth....ZR
 

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Totally agree with both above posts. You should maybe have business type cards with the website address and haunt info and give them out or throw some into the crowd.
 
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