Halloween Forum banner
1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·


It took me longer than usual to find my Halloween spirit this year. I was really dreading all the hard work that it takes to get my haunt together. Then I picked out a theme that I got really excited about and got to work last Friday. Once I started working on my garage, I remembered why I always loved decorating. It was exciting and enjoyable. It was hard for me to stop for the evening and the next day I got started again with enthusiasm. Then a phone call came in... a really good friend of my fiance's had died in a tragic accident. It was absolutely devestating. A bunch of people started coming to my house to check on my fiance, to make sure that he was ok and they all made remarks about the tombstones and decorations that I had in the yard. Now I'm really considering giving up on Halloween this year. Everyone's emotions are super raw at the moment and I don't want to come off insensitive. I'm really not sure on what to do. By the time Halloween comes, I know that I will really be upset that I'm missing out, but I just don't know how to go about this situation... :(
[
 

·
Somewhat Eccentric
Joined
·
2,390 Posts
So sorry for your loss. :( I know that everyone is really emotional at the moment, but your tombstones are simply decorations and you should not be criticized for them. You already had them displayed before the accident. To be honest, I'd ask your fiance how he feels about it. If it bothers him, take it down or at least take away the pieces that offend him. After all, he's the one you're planning to spend the rest of your life with. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
70 Posts
My father died a week before halloween and suddenly my graveyard wasn't so fun anymore. I took it all down and just carved pumpkins. Time does heal the pain.
 

·
Typical Ghoul Next Door
Joined
·
7,721 Posts
A neighbor lost a child this summer, and I would not have done the full graveyard this year if that had been the original plan (would have switched to all pumpkins too). Fortunately I'd already changed themes this year and it has no grave stuff (carnival theme).

My father in law died on October 11th many years ago, but my husband was still okay with decorating and having our party. I do agree with the others - check with your fiance and see how they feel about the decorations.

And so sorry for your loss.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
718 Posts
:( so sorry to hear this..... I think everyone has given great advice. This is between you and your fiancé to decide. You both should decide what is best for you both and go from there. This happening is tough anytime, but worse around a holiday. I hope for healing and comfort for all involved.
 

·
Seer of All
Joined
·
2,939 Posts
It can really go either way. Your fiancé may not even make the connection between the real tragedy and your Halloween display or it may hit him like a slap in the face. Ask him.
A few years ago, I lost a close friend right around the time I was working on my display and I was afraid of the same things you mentioned. I was concerned because her young son was spending a lot of time with us and I didn't want to upset him further. My family convinced me to go ahead as planned. I did and no one seemed to have a problem with it at all.
How we grieve and perceive death is a very personal thing. What triggers your own feelings of sadness may be vastly different than your fiancé or friends.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
14,684 Posts
Sorry you guys have lost someone close to you. I think the thought of "canceling" halloween for this year is a natural one given the circumstances. My dad died just a month before last halloween so kind of questioned myself how I felt about celebrating a holiday so soon after. And this is a subject that has come up on the forum every so often.

If it were me I would bring the subject up with your fiancé since his feelings are the one everyone is concerned about. It might be too close to him right now and so stepping back might be a respectful way of acknowledging his feelings. Then again death is part of life and he could feel that having all the kids coming to the house and seeing their smiles will make him feel good doing something for someone else. That's the decision I made for myself. Everyone handles a close death to them differently. Don't assume anything, just ask how he feels about it.
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top