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Discussion Starter #1
Argh!
I'm so p*ssed off! My mom called me today to tell me they tore down my Grandad's old shed two days ago and filled in the cold cellar too. I'm enfuriated. My Nan is having a hard time with it, because my grandad passed away four years ago. She wants to move into a "golden living" home before she has to spend another winter in the house alone.
My uncle gets the house and the land, because my grandad was a traditionalist and have it to his only son. The bee that is in my bonnet though is that my poor nan isn't even out of the house yet and they are makin plans to tear it down (and have already started worth the shed/cellar).

My grandfather was a self taught carpenter and built the shed, greenhouse, barn and house himself with the help of my great grandad. It kills me to know that my uncle, who grandad gave the house to in good faith, is now just taking advantage of the free plot of land to slap up some modern quickly made summer home for himself. Grandad passed the HOUSE on to my uncle to make sure it stayed in the family and now he's just going to tear it down. And the reason? Because it's "quicker" to have a new house built by a contractor than to pay someone to do the restorations. So, he's cheap and lazy but more than happy to take advantage of the free property. (Which is, I would easily say, the best plot of land in the community)

I'm furious and just wish people would people would have a little more honour and respect for the past and for their family traditions and history. But instead they opt to tear it all down for the convenience of modern.

Sorry for the rant, but I figured lovers of Halloween would understand my wish for tradition and history to be honoured. Thanks for allowing me to let the steam out!
 

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Far Away Eyes
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Total bummer. You have more soul and sense than at least one of your "elders." Unfortunately, there are some things you can't control. Try not to stress yourself out if there's nothing you can do to change things. (Easier said than done, I know.)
 

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Discussion Starter #5
No offended taken Laurie! I agree completely! Haha thanks Garth and PIB-it's frustrating, but I can't do anything. I've calmed since then, but have no respect for my uncle now. I have a few things that my nan sent to me that she knows I'll cherish. Her children are even upset that I got one of the items-it's an old map of Newfoundland an Labrador that is a "hooked rug". Her sister made it using pantyhose during World War II. They all want it, but my nan chose to give it to me because I was the only family member to actually show an interest in the history and I learned to hook rugs myself. Everyone else just wanted it for its perceived "value". She is also sending me her vintage Pyrex which means the world to me because her kitchen is where my love of cooking and baking blossomed.
 

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So sorry. Know what I would do? I would go get as much of the wood or other stuff as I could carry and make a frame for a pic of the house and other things out if it so you will hallways have a piece of your history. Make one for everyone in the family EXCEPT the uncle.:p.

Oh and even the old nails. they make cool props.
 

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His name is Roger Clyne
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9,848 Posts
People get so freaked out over what is ultimately meaningless stuff when people die. Like I-will-never-speak-to-them-EVAR-because-they-got-mother's-china kinda freaked out & angry. When all is said & done, it's just stuff. Inanimate objects that will mean nothing when you're in the old folks home or in hospice. Antique stores are full of "family heirlooms." Family is more important than chairs or china.

I'm not saying you shouldn't be upset, I get it & I'd probably be ticked off too if I were in that situation. It's not really stuff, it's real estate which is worth a bit more than some china or furniture. Rant away, it's understandable. Not that this is any consolation at least it's staying in the family, even if it's changed. An outsider may have done the exact same thing or worse.

My grandmother never forgave her brother for "giving mother's good Haviland china to Little Billy." Those are her exact words & I remember them because she talked about it incessantly whenever a big holiday dinner came around. I never understood holding a grudge over china.

Just breathe, grab some leftover wood, frame it, make a frame out of it, something. They can't take the memories away & that's more important.

This is also a lesson that my in-laws have learned. They're divesting themselves of stuff before they kick the bucket. They said, if you want it take it. My husband's sister got a house first so I think she went online to find out what the "good stuff" was & it all mysteriously showed up in her house piece by piece.:D

It went like this, "you know Mom/Dad I could get that (insert name of priceless antique here) cleaned/repaired/etc for you." Mom & Dad forget since they're busy & the house is already overflowing with antiques & non-antiques alike, then the next time you visit her house there's the priceless antique in her DR or LR.!!:D Which is just fine because her house is bigger so she has more room for stuff than we do & we sorta enjoy going there & visiting the stuff without actually having to clean it or keep the Furry Ruiner Bros. from ruining it.:D

My FIL did an estate of an older, widowed lady who had no children. She had some kids she sorta took care of & once they got what they wanted (which wasn't much) my FIL was left with a giant condo full of her & her late husband's stuff. Christmas ornaments, clothes, purses, various antiques, guns, china, just almost everything you'd have left if you walked outta your house today & just never came back. Most of it went to sale at auction, I got the Christmas ornaments, my FIL kept a few small things here & there but the majority went to auction & into the estate & then was split between whoever she'd named as heirs.

So even if you'd gotten the house or the house was kept as is, it wouldn't stay that way. Crap happens & maybe one day you'd have to sell it or your grandkids would sell it. Ashes to ashes & dust to dust & all that rot.

My theory is, I have stuff I like & I'm going to enjoy it while I'm here because when I'm gone it won't mean anything to me & maybe not to anyone else. If someone sees my grandfather's crib at auction & thinks it'll be perfect in their house to store wood then so be it. I won't be here to say no.

Oh, FTR, I think "Little Billy" still has that china & I'm glad it's him & not me that has to figure out WTF to do with "mother's good china" because we've got my in-laws good china & I have no clue what to do with that either since I don't do big family dinners.
 

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The Sea Witch
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2,447 Posts
Yeah, I'd be ticked off too.

I'm fully expecting to get my grandparents house (100+ years old, on historic registry, so it cant be torn down) when the time comes. Largely because hubby and I are the only ones who have stayed close to help take care of them (grandma has dementia and papa has a proverbial rap sheet of ailments and will be going on dialysis within the year most likely, they already placed the stent for it). no other family even lives in the state. Added to that, our house is TINY TEENY TINY and we are crammed in here- and theirs is HUGE (5000+sf). it would only make sense given everything considered. I hate the town it is in, but LOVE the house. cant have everything i guess LMAO

yeah, if i dont get it for some reason, ill be a bit miffed. i dont care about the china LMAO
 
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