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I originally heard this one a while back, I changed up some of the words, still is funny though:

It was right around Halloween, and Farmer Ted's pumpkin patch was thriving. He had been making a huge profit off of his pumpkins pies for years, and this year's pumkins were looking mighty delicious. He would wake up every morning to inspect the entire patch for bugs or even the slightest sign of vermin.

One day however, Farmer Ted woke up to discover one of his prized pumpkins had been eaten right through to the vine, leaving only a few seeds and leaves behind. Ted was astounded that he hadn't been able to detect the creature that had done this to his pumpkins, until he saw teenager-sized foot prints leading away from the patch.

Farmer Ted was beside himself with anger, so he vowed to teach the teens a lesson. He took some scrap wood and painted a big sign that read "WARNING: One of these pumpkins has been injected with cyanide". Chuckling to himself, Ted took a malet and hammered the sign deep into the center of the patch to wait for the teens that night.

In the morning, Ted rushed down to the patch and noticed that none of his pumpkins had been eaten. Happy that his plan had worked, he moved across the field to take down the sign. When his eyes fell upon it however, he noticed that in tiny letters were written the words, "Now there are two."
 
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