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People just don't get it do they

8K views 61 replies 41 participants last post by  VampKat 
#1 ·
Went to Sam's club during lunch to buy the candy and in line people were looking at how much candy I was buying and of course I got the mandatory cute remarks but two couples said something that made me shake my head. They both said "we just turn our lights off, we don't want to be bothered".

All I could come back with was this lame line "I do it for the kids, I like to see the smile on their faces".

What is it with people today?
 
#4 ·
I'll tell you what it is.....We discussed this very topic (sort of) in my Sunday school class a couple of weeks ago. We were talking about service and how we are supposed to serve one another. But, our church has a men's group that goes around the community and will offer to mow people's grass...just mow it. No pressure. They aren't going to force you to come to church or anything. They just want to serve. Some people will turn them down.

Tieing this all together..... a few weeks ago I was at a gas station early early in the morning, on my way to work. A guy was at the pump on the other side and he looked like he was just getting off work. He had one his blue work shirt (looked like the kind a delivery person or mechanic would wear) and he had his white tee shirt on under it. Kind of look disheveled. Anyway, he looks over and me and says "beautiful morning, isn't it?" I REALLY didn't want to respond because the first thought in my head was "why is this random guy talking to me and what does he want from me?? Money?? I made myself answer back "yeah. sure is" and then he finished pumping his gas and looks at me and says "have a blessed day" Wow. I felt so stupid and so like a heel. I was so worried about being bothered about someone asking me for something that I wasn't even open to saying good morning. That is what our country and our society has become. Self absorbed with our phones, technology. We don't want to be bothered. We don't want to reach out to people and help. I recently saw an elderly man with his backpack sitting in an Arbys when I went with a co-worker for lunch one day. You could tell the man was probably homeless. He had a cup sitting in front of him and had some coins stacked up on the table. Now, he could have been a scammer - who knows. But, I kept wanting to go over and ask him if he had or would like some lunch. But, I couldn't make myself do it out of fear of offending him. This was a few weeks ago. It still bothers me that I didn't get out of my comfort zone and ask him. My co-worker said he wouldn't have bothered because if you aren't going to consistently offer help, then why even do it the first time. My response was that maybe it's just that one time that makes the difference for someone.

Sorry for the long post....but, it is sad where we are as a society and all we can do is our best and what we feel led to do. The people, like me, that don't try and make a difference or try and do something nice for others, are the ones that are missing out.

off my soapbox now.
 
#10 ·
Since I suck the fun out of all the other Holidays, I can understand people not wanting to ante up and lay out cash for candy. We have folks here, who as couples don't hand out candy because they both take their little ones ToTing...Do they not get it?

Like Oaklawn, I do it because I like it. I would be spending a whole lot less time, money and effort on this thing if it was just for the kids.
 
#11 ·
As soon as I read your post the first thing I thought of was to remember what happened to people like that when we were kids !!:rolleyes:

I am not saying vandalism is good but lets face it if you live in a large neighborhood and everybody is participating and you just want to be an ***, then a tree full of TP may just be what the doctor ordered. ;)
 
#12 ·
I live on 31st street (hence the name) and I've always envisioned a full street long haunt (hence the name)(I tried to include the neighbors 8^) although I do clog the street fairly well all by myself 8^o Most pass out candy (one across street told me 10 bags gone in a hour last year 8^) but not all do. I had a guy who does a big Christmas yard stop by last year who told me I inspired him to start doing Halloween and I saw he had a nice (mostly inflatable) display up last year.

I get asked all the time why I do it and there's no easy answer, you get the calling or you don't, sometimes a bite helps 8^) but mostly I do it for me as I love to make things from old junk and give it one last part to play in its chapter of life before hitting the landfill. After 13 years of doing it, my favorite reason and story is probably of a grandma who lives a few housed down from me who told me a few years back that her oldest grandson had been coming for 10 years but the youngest at 10 hadn't been able to get past the gate the last 2 years waiting in line/trying but, so far unable to get past the gates. She also added that the older one had joined the armed services and was overseas that year and he'd written her to say that missing my haunt was one of the things he was missing the most being there (talk about ripping a monsters heart out)(I picture myself with this quivering lip as she's telling me this 8^). The next year, both GK's and grandma came through the haunt so the kid made it back okay 8^) Long story short is some people do get it and that's who I do it for... the rest I use for prop material, LMAO }8^)
 
#13 ·
I remember trick or treating when I was a kid and those houses that had their lights turned off even though we all knew someone was home....LAME! Those people were no fun, I can tell you that. I ALWAYS remembered the houses that did Halloween, the adults that dressed up to hand out candy...it was awesome!

Now sadly, as an adults me and my husband don't get any trick or treaters to our house at all! Its sad.....but I still do Halloween props, lights etc. Its so much fun!

It always surprises me how many "humbugs" (sorry, I call them "kill joys" usually...) there are....SO many people I know were complaining this year that the Halloween stuff was put out EARLY!! Makes me sad....Its not early enough in my opinion and I find I am rushing each year to collect new pieces before they are gone! :)
(just had to put in my 2 cents, I'm sure there are rants about this in other places on the forum :) :) )
 
#15 ·
We live on a street called "Pumpkin Alley" because for 14 years now, we close down both ends of our street, decorate it with hundreds of lit jack o lanterns and welcome literally thousands of trick or treaters from all across the region. 2 years ago, two neighbors said we needed to stop this tradition because of the cost and the hassle. At an informal block meeting, we discussed the issue and the other 20 homeowners asked the same question: since we are creating memories and traditions for thousands of children, isn't that worth a few hours of inconvenience? The naysayers had no answer to that and eventually slinked home.
 
#16 ·
Maybe they work 2nd/3rd shift and can't be home Halloween night. Maybe they can't afford the candy that is getting more expensive every year. Maybe they don't get any ToTs in their neighborhood. Maybe they take care of an unwell family member that is shaken and confused by having strangers in costumes knocking on the door all night. Maybe their religious beliefs shun the celebration of any holidays. Maybe they go to an annual party and don't feel like leaving a bowl to be raided by the first passing group.

Maybe they just don't enjoy the holiday as much, so instead of trudging through it to keep up with the Jones', they pull the shades and watch a movie instead.

Asking what's wrong with them, calling them killjoys, or worse, and suggesting their house could [or should] be vandalized sure as heck isn't going to win them over into celebrating alongside you. A treeful of TP isn't going to make a pumpkin appear on their porch next year, it's going to make an angry neighbor who dislikes Halloween that much more.

If it's not interfering with your own celebration of the holiday, is it really worth complaining about?
 
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#17 ·
dogman, I understand your point but other than the 'working" reason all the others are just excuses in my mind. In this day and age if you live where there are children its just part of the year. Not to mention its a great way to get to know your neighbors. As for cost, another excuse. We NEVER get anybody because for years we really did live out in the country but we still made popcorn and filled sandwich bags just in case, cheap and easy.Then we would dump them all in a big pan and watch movies after it got late and no kids showed up.
Now , this year with a school up the street ( that my wife works at) and houses and shopping centers everywhere we may see some TOT kids. Plus they go out early these days and we are having our party that night. So we will be ready.

So even though I see what you are trying to say its still seems lame to me to not at least greet the kids and offer a treat. If not that's OK too.

As for the vandalism I am sure these days with all the crazy stand your ground laws you would have to be nuts to even try. I still remember my favorite from my childhood. The next morning a family in our neighborhood I grew up in who passed on Halloween found at least FIFTY for sale signs from different realtors in there yard. It was a funny site to see and nobody got hurt.
 
#18 ·
My husband and I get that reaction when we go pick up our candy (3500) pieces from the store because it fills up a whole cart. This is our thing and we want to share it with anyone who wants to come by and share it with us. Simple and true. We get around 1200 TOTs every year and you still remember those few who get a scare for the 1st time or have special needs and love the sounds and lights in your yard. You cannot help but want to do bigger, better for next year. Let them turn off their lights but I always invite them to come and enjoy our house if they would like to experience it just once.
 
#24 ·
I don't get a lot of TOTers in my neighborhood - probably one king-size bag of fun-size bars would be enough for the night - & dishearteningly enough, at least 3/4 of them don't even dress up! But I'm not going to let that spoil my Halloween fun - & the bit of decorating, the creepy music going, & my friends helping hand out tricks and/or treats really makes the kids' day. I remember doing the neighborhood rounds with my siblings & their assorted friends, my friends' siblings, friends from church - & I remember the disappointment of seeing a house & knowing that they're home but just don't want to participate.

For those who have to work or go away (TOTing with their own kids or other activities), couldn't you leave the candy with a neighbor already giving out candy, & the neighbor could mention that the second treat was from the house next door? I know you can't always leave the bowl out anymore - some kid will take it all, I'm sure - but I remember hitting a few homes in my youth & being told that what I took from the second bowl they were offering was from the house next door/across the way/what have you.
 
#25 ·
I not only love Halloween, but feel it is a vital necessity. It is one of if not the only holiday in the western world that relies on community. For every other holiday we have our families, but Halloween does not exist without the people we share our day to day lives with. These days it takes a lot of trust to open up your home to people we don't know very well, and also to send your children out to said people's homes, and that's all the more reason to do it. What kind of world would it be if something like Halloween and trick or treating became too risky? A mighty sad one, I would think. And I think those types who want to shut themselves in (willingly, I'm not talking about people who have other things going on or things that stop them from participating) and ignore the fostering of joy and community going on outside are probably a sad lot themselves.
 
#26 ·
The thing I've always loved about Halloween is that it's optional. There's no religious ceremony attached to it that you MUST attend or be shamed forever (unless you're Pagan/Wiccan/etc.). If you don't want to participate, don't. Turn off your lights, go away for the evening, whatevs. It's your choice.

Where holidays like Thanksgiving (family ACK!), Christmas (MOAR FAMILY DOUBLE ACK!!), Easter, etc., usually involve some form of participation whether it's buying presents, going to church, baking, cooking dinner, etc., most people get forced or shamed into participating in some form. Some like it some don't, but I'd imagine if you just decided to NOT give your nephews presents for Christmas one year there'd be hell to pay. Or if you blow off Thanksgiving to just hit the Chinese restaurant you'd never hear the end of it from Aunt Martha.

But if you decide to turn your lights off or go away on Halloween there's no harm no foul (for the most part). You don't have to spend gobs of money on candy if you don't want or maybe can't afford to. No one will give you crap for years at every family gathering if you don't hand out Fun Sized candy bars on Halloween.

But miss Christmas/Easter/insert your holiday here & there will definitely be some sort of repercussions.

So if they don't wanna be bothered, good. More Halloween for us then!!
 
#27 ·
Its not even the fact of certain people not participating

But the ones who do not participate and shove their religious view points down Haunters throats. When I was working Knotts Scary Farm last year, one day i was heading right by the haunt park and notice a group of people. (Approx. 15 peeps) all complete with Bibles and Crosses and Signs. I had already put on my mask eye black out (So that patrons do not see my white skin around my eyes. I was a Grim Reaper lol He doesn't really have eyes IMO), so they saw that when I was at a stoplight and they SCREAMED at me calling me a devil worshipper and i will go to hell. Oh and I am implicating to children and young adults that death and murder is "okay"....

TL: DR.. Religious people called me devil worshipper for being a haunt actor @ Knotts Scary Farm.

It those individuals I despise... I do not go around talking poop on people for not setting up. I encourage it but only once and then I leave them alone.
 
#31 ·
I belong to a Southern Baptist church....we typically celebrate a "fall festival" and I know some in my church/denomination look down on "celebrating" Halloween. This will be my first year to setup a cemetery in my front yard with a couple of static props. I don't look at it as celebrating evil or the devil or whatever. I just look at it as having a little mischievous fun. I'm a little off topic but wanted to tag off of your comment. I've always been a prankster since I was a kid and Halloween for me is that. Dressing up, doing something that is a "trick" or prank. Nothing more. My wife and I typically haven't handed out candy because we were always out somewhere with our kids. Now, one is a sophomore in high school and the other is a 7th grader; so they are too old now. My daughter thought it would be fun to create something that neighborhood kids would think was cool and get a piece of candy at the same time.

Anyway - happy haunting to everyone!!
 
#29 ·
Well it seems with OP's incident, this was a case in which someone felt the need to make an unnecessary comment and be a parade rainer. If you want to stay in, whatever, but don't make off-hand remarks to people like that. If anyone is worrying, it was the couple who felt the need to say something to them about it.
 
#30 ·
The only time we've never had candy to give out on a Halloween night (besides if we weren't home because of other seasonal activities when our kids were younger) was a few years back or so when Halloween was the day after our annual party. There were more than a few haters in our old neighborhood that were always turning us in to the HOA for stupid things ( ie: flying a pirate flag for Halloween on our flagpole -- the pole was already there because it was a former model home and when we didn't take the flag down they came and CUT DOWN the freakin' flag pole of all things!) among other stupid things... whatever...haters gon' hate. Evidently when you're the best house to come to in the whole 'hood on Halloween, you're a target of people who don't like the commotion. We gave away so much candy each year, I can't even tell you how much!

Anyway, the last year we were there, we had around 70 party guests and "someone" called the cops on us for our music being too loud, even though you couldn't hear it outside the home and the house up the street had a live band in the back yard. The CHIEF of police lived beside us, for Pete's sake, and we were good friends so they knew it wasn't us, but never-the-less, we get a visit from the po-po's. So, guess what? After all the other, it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

After the party and clean-up, 3 AM in the morning, we're out ripping out every decoration and light we had up that year, and then gave all our candy to my sister's church for their trunk-or-treat. When the ToTr's came the next night, our house was dark and quiet. My point to the neighbors was, "listen...don't feed on our generosity to your children every holiday, including Christmas, and then call the cops on us when the streets are crowded with our party guests because you're haters. YOU give your own kids some candy this year that you never buy because you depend on us."

Rash? Maybe. I guarantee, though, after a few years of not having us around they probably wish we were back.
 
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