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His name is Roger Clyne
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I'm missing a leg/arm/body part/piece of something gross? Is it in the garage or basement?

The tombstones fell over again!

No, mummies here, vampires there, zombie here.
 

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"Did you get all the last tomatoes out of the garden because I need to dig it up to make the fresh graves in the graveyard"

"Honey will you be home this afternoon? I need help with the coffin"
 

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My six year old daughter answered the door one time. A couple of religious folks where there to save our souls. When they ask if her mom or dad was home she replied, "Daddy was out back digging a new grave and mama is cutting the eyes out of the body right now. She a mess right now. Her knife slipped or she'd already have them out. I can call them for you." I could see the man and woman's faces through the curtain and their jaws hit the porch floor before they literally ran down the sidewalk!!! For some odd and unexplainable reason . . . they've never come back! Lolololololol . . . Great thread!!!!
 

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An exboyfriend of mine was really into swords. His friend was supposed to come over one night to view his latest acquisition so he thought it would be funny to answer the door in an, er, unique way....

Doorbell rings, he throws open the door, sword in hand and with a cape on, screaming, "My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!" Yeah, it wasn't his friend.

It was a Jehovah's Witness.

Needless to say, no more witnessing at his house!
 

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Oliver, my youngest..."Mom! Why is there a huge pile of plastic sheets in the garage?"

Me - (not Mom) "That's going to be an underground worm monster."

Oliver, "oh"

Jack, his older brother. "Can we play with it?"
 

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Too funny GiggleingGhost. Reminds me of our house a couple of years ago. My eyelids had drooped to the point it affected my vision so I had surgery where the cut the eyelids and removed some skin. I looked pretty bad, and of course I had two black eyes. After a few days it really didn't hurt that much and sometimes I forgot I even had it done. I was Halloween decorating one day, pulling boxes out of the garage, and I was all dirty. Two neighbor girls came to the door selling candy and when I answered it they looked at me horrified, and asked me what happened. Seeing how dirty I was, I said, "Oh you know me. Just getting ready for Halloween." When they left and I shut the door I turned and saw myself in the mirror, and realized why they looked so shocked. I laughed out loud when I thought of them thinking I mutilated my eyes, just in preparation for Halloween. That's me, I'll go the extra mile for my special holiday.

Sorry if this grosses anyone out, but this is what I looked like. All in preparation for Halloween. lol

 

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Giggleing Ghost, You must have avoided the extreme temptation right then to run to the door and yell:"Where is Your God NOW?" If they were running in fear, he must not be very well known to them? (Or the wrong God?)
 

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Back on "Subject". Heard in my haunted, haunted house:"That was really neat! How did you do that? Was that a special effect? You must have one of those Holographic/projection machines, huh? Where did you get the blueprints to build it? From Popular Science Magazine?"
27 years ago when I was trying to find financing to buy my house I was talking to some of our elderly citizens here . They told me I should Not buy this house because it's "Haunted".
I have been given credit for being able to do some very amazingly tricky stuff here... that I can't begin to do.
 
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