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Queen of Crap
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My husband and I had an argument on Sunday morning. We were getting ready to go to church. It had been three weeks since we had been – for various reasons. Shamefully not all of them were that valid. I don’t even remember what we were arguing about but I do remember that we both yelled at each other. Undoubtedly, it was because we were running late and were stressed out. No one wants to be the people who arrive after the service has already started.

We arrived on time and went inside and sat down – still not having said a word to each other. Before the service began, our Reverend, Father Jamie, went to the front of the church to address the congregation instead of making his way to the altar in the procession, as is the way in the Episcopal Church. He was thanking everyone for their thoughts and prayers and assistance. What we had missed three weeks ago, was that his wife passed away. She was 46 years old and left him with two daughters, Emily and Suzanna, both in their teens. I have no idea what happened but only know that she passed away unexpectedly at home. His sermon that day was about his wife. When he finished, there was not a dry eye in the church and my husband and I were holding hands.

Since I learned of her death, I feel as though I myself have been in a certain state of mourning. I cannot pinpoint exactly the reason. Of course it would have an effect on me as it would have the other members of the church. I knew her and liked her very much and yet I can’t help feel there is something else. I don’t know if it’s because I know how many people mourn for her or because I feel for her daughters. Maybe it’s because it seems wrong that such a wonderful woman was taken from us at such a young age, or because it makes me think how my life would be if it had been my husband. When someone you know passes away, perhaps especially at this time of year, it’s bound to make you stop and think. And it really brings home the realization that it can happen to you and your family just as easily.

I’m sharing this for a few reasons. The first being that if you pray, please pray for Father Jamie and his daughters. It’s obvious that he’s lost quite a bit of weight over these last weeks. I can only imagine what it does to you to lose, as he put it “my light on this earth”. His daughters were not in attendance on Sunday and just as I can’t begin to imagine his pain, I can’t begin to imagine the pain those girls are in.

My second reason for sharing this with you, is my hope that it will make you stop for just a moment. Especially at this time of year, when the truly important things in life may get overshadowed by the commercialization of this season. Please take just a moment today to tell the people you love how much they really mean to you. Whoever it is that you have in your life whether it be a spouse, child, parent, brother, sister, friend, take just a moment to tell them, honestly tell them, how much they mean to you. The old adage, “you never realize what you have until it’s gone” could not be more true, or more unnecessary. I know this may seem a little corny and of course it’s not something that you all haven’t thought a thousand times yourselves, but if you stopped long enough to read this, take just one more moment to seek out the ones you love and tell them so.
 

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Doomed to walk the earth
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very well said Black Rose,I agree sometimes we do get caught up in things and forget the important things in life. when something like that happens it makes you sit back and realize the pettyness of some of our daily problems and what a short time we all have in this world
I will pray for them and keep them in my thoughts...
 

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Well put, Blackrose! I cannot imagine that kind of loss (thank God), and especially for those girls; it definitely makes me appreciate being close to my parents.
 

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts BlackRose, very well spoken. :)

I too share your hope that people will take time to reflect on the truly important things in life.

We are experiencing uncertain times here in America, it hitting home myself. After a tough first trimester and a very stressful fall I've had to stop and take stock in my life. Yes, my job is uncertain, yes my retirement accounts have taken huge hits. But I'm healthy, my loved ones are healthy (thank god) and I have the basic needs covered. Those things alone are so much better than so many people have it.

My wish that during these rough economic times people stop to appreciate the simple things..and more important....EACH OTHER! :)
 

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Hauntless
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8,343 Posts
Very glad you posted this. Very powerful story.

There is nothing in comparison to losing a spouse, child, or a close relative. But, when my beloved dog Kate suddenly passed away it hit my like a mountain. I had never lost a dear loved one before (blessed life). But, though painful, I believe it strengthened me to better handle that time when someone very close to me will pass away. So, even in death, my dog gave to me more than I could have ever given to her. From that moment on I have tried to remind myself to appreciate and enjoy the people in my life because they will only be in my life for a certain time.

Here's a poem I wrote after my sweet dog's death:


Kate

Well, the time has come.
I have dreaded this day for years and now it's here.
You are gone.
Oh, I miss you, my sweet girl.
Your cuddles, your stares.
You could look into my heart and say, I love you and everything is alright.
The soul of my house and now that light is out.
I miss everything about you,
You can never be replaced, I want you back.
Your tail wagging at the door, your nose peeking in the grocery bags,
The company on our many walks, the way you slept in my arms.
You were my sunshine and now it’s only rain.
But, I hear there is a rainbow path,
You are playing now, running with the other dogs,
I can’t wait for the day I cross over and meet you there.
Goodbye sweetie, I love you
 
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