Inappropriate Costume - How to handle

3929 Views 32 Replies 27 Participants Last post by matrixmom, Oct 28, 2014

wensteve

Discussion Starter · Oct 24, 2014

So a friend brought a friend to our party this year and he was dressed up as the KKK. What would you do if you saw this at your party? I uploaded a tone of photos to some social media accounts and every time I have to through them and make sure this costume is not in any of the pics. I'm so embarrassed. Here he is in my kitchen.

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Regions Beyond

· #2 · Oct 24, 2014

Simple: if you specifically did not invite them, tell your friend that did why it strikes you as unacceptable (racism, obviously) and then ask the person to leave since it's your home and private property if unwilling to change to civilian clothes, as that's commonly considered offensive most everywhere nowdays.

Reactions: 3

Wolfman

· #3 · Oct 24, 2014

We had a thread here a while back of a cute little toddler dressed up as Hitler. Not well received. But this character is an adult. How could ANYBODY consider that getup as "funny"?

How to handle it? That's an awkward one...

Reactions: 1

Stochey

· #4 · Oct 24, 2014

Yeah... I saw pics of two different parties on my FB feed with people as KKK members and one of someone in blackface last year. Unbelievable.

Rural Scarecrow

· #5 · Oct 24, 2014

Since the friend brought this person, I would go directly to the friend and explain you find it offensive, not funny, and it's obvious that it would make other guests feel the same way. The friend needs to leave with them since I am assuming they drove together, or they need to ask the party crasher to simply remove the costume. Not sure what the entire costume looked like, but at least the hood. The friend needs to be held responsible for bringing them.

Reactions: 3

tgoodman

· #6 · Oct 24, 2014

It's baffling that anyone would consider that an appropriate costume, especially coming to a party at someone's home he didn't know. If it were my party, I would ask my friend and his guest to join me in another room, privately, and explain why we find the costume offensive. He would be given the opportunity to take it off (assuming he had something underneath) or leave, no hard feelings. It's just ridiculous that people put others in these kinds of situations. Makes me glad I didn't tell the guests we have coming to bring more people if they wanted. We don't need the kind of random BS that often comes with unknown guests!

Reactions: 1

CherryBrandy79

· #7 · Oct 24, 2014

Next year try putting it on your invitation "Please no rude or offensive costumes" in small print. Also put on there any questions please feel free to ask. Then if someone shows up with a costume like that go ahead and ask them to leave.

Reactions: 2

tgoodman

· #8 · Oct 24, 2014

CherryBrandy79 said:
Next year try putting it on your invitation "Please no rude or offensive costumes" in small print.

The problem is that everyone has a different idea of what is "rude or offensive". Then, you make everyone worry whether their slightly risque costume meets that criteria and you put everyone on edge. As well, if a person is stupid enough to wear a KKK costume to a party he's for damn sure too stupid to pick up on any hints given on the invitation about what's appropriate.

Reactions: 5

dawnski

· #9 · Oct 24, 2014

Is it possible he went as some kind of video game character? The rest of the costume does not look like a KKK costume, but it's hard to tell.

Reactions: 1

Skeletoncrew

· #10 · Oct 24, 2014

Wow, talk about tasteless!

I'd pull the friend that brought them aside and have a heart to heart.

zombieprincess

· #11 · Oct 24, 2014

It's Halloween, maybe they thought it was funny because it's Halloween? You know, the holiday where people of all ages dress as murderers and ghosts and demons and such. Did anyone else at the party say anything to this person about the costume being offensive? Like Dawnski said, maybe it was actually some weird video game character?

The Real Joker

· #12 · Oct 24, 2014

That is very rude and offensive. I would have asked them to leave.
Sorry, It's clearly not a video game character.
And I've played a lot of video games. It's a KKK costume - anyone can see that.

LaBruja

· #13 · Oct 24, 2014

I would bet if he had been asked he would have claimed to have been something else.The hood, even though it is so oddly tall, screams KKK but the rest of the outfit..with the red suspenders and yellow..button? Say clown. But you cannot convince me he wasnt looking for a reaction. And I have to say..what kind of friend ...the one you invited...would bring that to your house? Guilty by association imo

psox16

· #14 · Oct 25, 2014

tgoodman said:
It's baffling that anyone would consider that an appropriate costume, especially coming to a party at someone's home he didn't know. If it were my party, I would ask my friend and his guest to join me in another room, privately, and explain why we find the costume offensive. He would be given the opportunity to take it off (assuming he had something underneath) or leave, no hard feelings. It's just ridiculous that people put others in these kinds of situations. Makes me glad I didn't tell the guests we have coming to bring more people if they wanted. We don't need the kind of random BS that often comes with unknown guests!

I think you nailed it, tgoodman. "It's just ridiculous that people put others in these kinds of situations." Not only is the costume blatantly offensive and tasteless, but the fact that this party goer didn't think to consider the position he would be putting the host into is horrible. People are so inconsiderate these days. What was supposed to be a fun, care-free Halloween party is now tainted by an uncomfortable memory.

I pray I'm never in this position! This is why I keep a few costume pieces out the night of the party, in case somebody needs to change or forgets a costume.

Reactions: 1

oaklawn Crematory

· #15 · Oct 25, 2014

Its only what u make of it.....I find the slutty outfits far more irritating than that....It wouldnt bother me abit about it.

Reactions: 1

Icepick

· #16 · Oct 25, 2014

I know it's only one photo, but every face that you see in it, including the clown mask, is smiling (hard to tell if Slash is smiling, even the real Slash). Who knows how many drinks in at this point, but based on the photo, it looks like it was a good time.

tgoodman

· #17 · Oct 25, 2014

psox16 said:
I think you nailed it, tgoodman. "It's just ridiculous that people put others in these kinds of situations." Not only is the costume blatantly offensive and tasteless, but the fact that this party goer didn't think to consider the position he would be putting the host into is horrible. People are so inconsiderate these days. What was supposed to be a fun, care-free Halloween party is now tainted by an uncomfortable memory.

I pray I'm never in this position! This is why I keep a few costume pieces out the night of the party, in case somebody needs to change or forgets a costume.

My significant other is high ranking in the Sheriff's Office. If pictures got published that we had and condoned someone dressed as the KKK at our party the media would have a field day with that. We wouldn't have let this person stay for 3 seconds, let alone the whole party.

Reactions: 1

tgoodman

· #18 · Oct 25, 2014

oaklawn Crematory said:
Its only what u make of it.....I find the slutty outfits far more irritating than that....It wouldnt bother me abit about it.

Everyone has to make that determination for themselves, of course, but when your significant other is high ranking in law enforcement, it's potentially career ending to have a person dressed that way at your party. It was reckless, thoughtless and stupid to come dressed that way not knowing the person whose party you're attending.

Reactions: 2

talkingcatblues

· #19 · Oct 25, 2014

LaBruja said:
I would bet if he had been asked he would have claimed to have been something else.The hood, even though it is so oddly tall, screams KKK but the rest of the outfit..with the red suspenders and yellow..button? Say clown. But you cannot convince me he wasnt looking for a reaction. And I have to say..what kind of friend ...the one you invited...would bring that to your house? Guilty by association, imo

That's what it strikes me as - that he was trying to be funny ("Ku Klux Klown") but didn't have the costume making skills where it would be more obvious. Possibly an idea to think twice before going with, though? Even if no-one reacted badly, a: "pun" costumes are rarely really funny anyway, and b: like some here have said, that gets tagged on Facebook and it could potentially unjustly hurt other party-goers or throwers career-wise (cops, teachers, etc) despite their hardly even knowing the guy.

All over now though, so at this point I would just delete the photos he's in, including maybe this one.

Reactions: 1

Hilda

· #20 · Oct 25, 2014

I am speechless. Yipes.

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