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Discussion Starter #1
Oh man. My heart has sunk into my stomach.

I'm a mom of a special needs child (autism), and two other children, all boys and all lovely people. I have recently befriended another mom from my special needs son's kindergarten class. Her kids have been over to my house; I watched them for her. The kids ALL had so much fun.

I did notice she seemed to be a little on the hyper-Christian side, which I'm not. I'm pretty much pagan but a very low-key pagan. I am very much live and let live. She asked if we go to church and stuff like that but I didn't think much of it.

Well, she knows I love H'ween so she forwarded me some great Halloween pumpkin carving sites and I was very excited that she thought of me and was honored. So I returned to her a picture of my "snake pumpkin". It actually isn't even my idea...I got the general idea from of all people, MARTHA STEWART, the queen of goody-goody northeastern stodginess. I had to think of ideas for an article and create them so the article would have pictures. It can be seen right here: One-of-a-Kind Halloween Pumpkins - Exciting Themes to Carve Your Pumpkin Halloween Alliance (That's my article. I'm so proud. Scroll down; it's the second picture.)

She wrote me back ONE LINE:

"you are truly sick"

Just like that. She didn't even sign it.

I feel like crying. Is it THAT sick? I mean for real. I feel so so bad right now. I think I lost a friend.

I will never ever fit in here. :( I am so lonely for home.
 

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well it's pretty hard to figure out tone in an email.

so either she's joking about it or she's way too serious and uptight and if it's the latter I personally wouldn't bother with her again. people like that just drag you down.

nothing wrong with any of the pumpkins you linked to.
 

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I'm sorry to hear, Melanie. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who are stubbornly close-minded and do not appreciate anything out of the norm. What one person thinks of as creativity and the harmless celebration of a holiday another thinks of as devil-worship.

Perhaps if you let her know that it was Martha's idea, she might think of it as more "wholesome." However, the incredibly aggressive way she reacted leads me to believe that there could be more conflict down the road.
 

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I think Gennifyr has a great point...while I love email and internet communication, it is very difficult to determine ones tone of voice through this media. Try to talk to her. Maybe start with "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you" -- which will likely lead to her telling you whether or not she truly was.
 

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It's too bad you don't live on Texas!! I would love to have you as a friend!! I also have a son with autism who is in a special needs kindergarten class!! You would think a mom with a special needs child who have a higher tolerance for different views. I know having my son, I also have 2 daughters, has changed how I look at people. I do not think you did anything wrong, friends should accept you the way you are. I know I am new here, but if you need support, please feel free to send me a message!! -Rachel
 

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Hmmm, it's hard to tell if she meant it in a good way or bad way. It would seem kind of odd for her to suddenly e-mail something like that to you.

Perhaps respond "hehe, thank you (jokingly)! I saw the idea in a Martha Stewart magazine and loved it."

Then, see what she responds with.

Let us know!
 

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Hopefully she meant this as a compliment, either way, I would take it as one! I would simply ask her if she was offended. Communication is the key to finding out either way. Good luck and try not to take to too personally, I know that's hard but we can't always please everyone.
I am just sorry that it is bothering you so much. Hang in there.
 

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I hate to say it, but it does sound like she meant it. However I do agree that things can get mistranslated online. Someone else could have even been on her email. Before reading to much into it, tell her exactly what you told us, that you were very excited she thought of you and honored.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Thanks so very much, guys and gals. I did send a quickie response mentioning Martha Stewart (I mean that isn't Martha's exact pumpkin, but that's where I got the snakes idea). I also told her I hope I didn't offend her. I kept it lighthearted, though.

We'll see. It's true that if she really did mean it and it freaks her out that I decorate for Halloween (???), then what can I say? (shrug) Thanks a million for cheering me up.
 

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i agree with johnny thunder

you did NOTHING wrong. in fact, if she doesn't call you back and apologize then i wouldn't bother with it. nothing against religious people, but they are so full of themselves sometimes that it sickens me. they act like their **** don't stink, and have their heads up their asses most of the time. being religious dosen't make you a better person, having FAITH does. ever since my aunt starting going to church, she's stopped hanging around us and being snobby. if you go to church, i applaud you. but don't act like you're better than the rest of the world.

continue to be the way you are, and be happy. you sound like a nice, caring person. keep up the good work, and happy halloween (soon!)
 

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I can't imagine those pumpkins offending anyone. I don't like the snake one, but that's just because I don't like snakes, not because it's offensive!

So, either it was a joking response (which would've been made perfectly clear with a "j/k"), a compliment ("sick" as in "cool" not "sick" as in "twisted and evil"), or she really meant it. If carving JOLs makes a person "sick" in the "twisted and evil" sense in her book, well, she's better written off. I think your response to her curious email was the best way to handle it. It will shake out one way or another, so there's no point in sweating it, CaliMel.

Speaking for myself only, carving JOLs is the LEAST of what I do that a bible-thumper might consider evil/wrong/improper!
 

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You did the right thing with a follow up.....just see what her response is...and you can go from there.....hopefully it was just a joke.....if not....perhaps you are better off without her....just hang in there....if this doesn't work out....there are other friends you will meet.....:)
 

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Gee, well... I text my partners alot, and it is really hard to read emotions over something like texts and e-mails. Try to get with her and see if her attitude matches the e-mail. If it does then it's her loss. They are some people out there that are super religious and can barely tolerate Halloween, let alone an original pumpkin with snakes!!! I personally love the pumpkin and the snakes... Heck I own one!!
 
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