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Prince of Arkham Asylum
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've ranked on props over the years because I have a nagging desire to have my props and display make sense. So when I come across something that just doesn't make sense, it drives me crazy. Now, I'm not ranking on something like "zombies don't exist". That's a scientific argument which has no place in reality. 馃ぃ I'm talking about when a commercially sold product mixes and matches different characters into a single product and then mass-produces. For example, in another thread I recently spoke about how Grandin Road currently sells a hanging Farmhouse Ghost Witch that makes absolutely no sense to me. Here's that gem...
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With that said, I came across the another fine and irritating example. Of course everyone is familiar with the Conjuring nun, Valak, and the fact that she speaks witchy phrases. :rolleyes: I present the infamous "Animatronic Witch Nun Valak". I'm not making up that prop name. It's the actual description of this item...

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She's listed as speaking two witchy phrases. I got an email from eBay with that one today, and had to share the lunacy. Thoughts? Any other examples to get under my skin? 馃ぃ
 

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Why does that ghost witch look familiar? I didn鈥檛 search but didn鈥檛 someone point out what an overpriced dumpster fire that was last year?
 

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It's simple: A lot of people are stupid and spend their money on stupid things, because it makes them giggle. People will buy the Witch Nun Valak because it says things that may them giggle and it looks scary aka Halloween-y. These are the same people that will tell you the same story over and over and over and never have any clue that they are doing it, even when you finish the story for them.
 

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I agree the prop is terrible lol. Ghosts, bats, witches are all classic Halloween. But a ghost with a witch hat? Terrible. Also, why the amber light? That ghost is screaming for a cool white led lights.

And why can't them make the nun say something funny like "The Bible won't save you from my witchcraft hehehe..."
 

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I uh...well honestly my reaction to that "witch" nun was "wtf?" This feels like trying to cash in on stuff. I wouldn't buy this for my haunt for anything.
 

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I bet people will buy it because the props are different than the usual classic items.
 
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Its been a long month in the Seasonal Marketing Dept,> A buyer comes in and says I've just gotten a great buy on this halloween item, it needs a name for packaging and promotion. You reach into the bowl of paper names and pull out, Valak and Witch. It talks so you call it an "ANIMATRONIC" instead of "LIFE SIZE", it looks like a NUN, you change the order of the paper names to WITCH VALAK. And you can now go to Lunch and Home, a good days work completed.
At 50% off, it will sell out and the company will make money. Those Halloween Nuts will buy anything!
Jerseyscare
 

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Its been a long month in the Seasonal Marketing Dept,> A buyer comes in and says I've just gotten a great buy on this halloween item, it needs a name for packaging and promotion. You reach into the bowl of paper names and pull out, Valak and Witch. It talks so you call it an "ANIMATRONIC" instead of "LIFE SIZE", it looks like a NUN, you change the order of the paper names to WITCH VALAK. And you can now go to Lunch and Home, a good days work completed.
At 50% off, it will sell out and the company will make money. Those Halloween Nuts will buy anything!
Jerseyscare
Ok, so who on here is going to buy this stuff? LOL!! But you are right people will buy this crap so they will make more crap like this.
 

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Thinking it might be the time to restart "group buys", I wonder how much they are whole sale by the dozen?
I elect Joker to be in charge! Since he found this gem in the rough. Just needs some hacks! lol
jerseyscare
 

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That Nun is perty spooky looking!!!!

HD did it right with the little reaper doll playing the cowbell over his head to Don't Fear the Reaper but same song is also played by a pumpkin dude at Meijers. Makes more sense for the HD reaper than a pumpkin dude having that song.
 

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I would buy the nun if I found her for $25-$30, because she has a pretty cool visual design. I would just disconnect her speaker, and display her as a mute. She strikes me more as a vampire than a ghost or witch or whatever she's supposed to be, so I wouldn't hesitate to use her in a vampire theme.

The farmer ghost witch is too stupid for words LOL.
 

Prince of Arkham Asylum
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Thinking it might be the time to restart "group buys", I wonder how much they are whole sale by the dozen?
I elect Joker to be in charge! Since he found this gem in the rough. Just needs some hacks! lol
jerseyscare
I can't condone this kind of behavior. 馃ぃ Buying hideously ugly and/or nonsensical props will only encourage the insanity. That said... thank you for another "gem", Gemmy...

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The nun/witch-with-rosary-and-bible is on Wayfair, too. They show a sidekick in the first pic that has a black robed figure looking like a Lucha Libre wrestler.
Wayfair.com - Online Home Store for Furniture, Decor, Outdoors & More

What that nun NEEDS is a whole bunch of these things in the background. Then we can recreate Sister Act ...
Because this thing is NO reaper. All the poses are variations of this.
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I agree, I'm so bloody sick of voice tracks in props that have no place being there. Fo me it started when I bought a cheap hanging spectre prop that made electrical noise? I mean WTF?? And they still use that annoying track today in loads of props too!

It comes across to me as the manufacturers are just plain lazy and just don't care what they churn out anymore.
 

Prince of Arkham Asylum
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·

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I agree with "The Joker" this stuff is nuts. It reminds me of the comedian Gorge Carlin. "If you nail two thinks together that never have been nailed together, some schmuck will buy it from you."
With covid putting manufacturing behind, I think is was just a mad rush to get something out there. Hopefully, this stuff will go away soon. On the other hand, this stuff could be big bucks 20 years from now. In someone collection of the worst Halloween props.
 
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