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Human Candy Shovel
1,107 Posts
I left a comment there for you.

But let me expand here:

First, people do pay me for what I write. Here's my stuff on Amazon and on DTRPG if you're feeling doubtful.

Your big flaw in your writing is a lack of research. In the first paragraph, you are writing on at least three subjects you have little to no experience in - horsemanship, ranch/farm management, and hunting. I say this because the flaws are so blatant. Go learn about them, interview people, google the topics, etc. Once you do, you'll rewrite that first chapter into something far better in your next draft. If research doesn't help you figure out the errors yourself, come back and ask me and I'll tell you what went wrong.

Seriously, research, even for fiction writers, is the difference between being nothing more than a harlequin hack and being able to dream of being a NY Time bestseller with a realistic chance of getting there. And do dare to dream big. My books may not be NYT bestsellers due to their topics, but I can say I count high ranking military officials in 43 countries as penpals because of them, and 15 different war colleges and military libraries are subscribers. There are no more than a dozen other people in the world who can claim the same.
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