A pirate walks into a bar.
As he walked in, the bartender noticed that the pirate had an enormous ship's wheel attached to the front of his pants.
The bartender didn't pry at first, but after a while he had to know why.
So he asked the pirate: "Do you know that you have a ship's wheel attached to the front of your pants?"
"Aye!" said the pirate. "It's drivin' me nuts!"