[chocolatemice]

Just a vent because I'm sad and frustrated.

I asked around my invite circle two months ago about having this year's Halloween Party on actual Halloween night. I knew it might be a scheduling crunch because of kids, work, life, etc. I was assured by so many people that last year's party was so much fun and they wouldn't dream of missing it this year, and a Friday night party on actual Halloween would be so awesome. Those who have kids said that their kids were too young for trick or treating anyway, so yeah it'd totally work out, no problem, how fun!

Rolling up to today and SO many people have just not RSVPed or entirely backed out, even a few people who originally RSVPed yes. My co-hosts haven't done anything to help me set up or cook. I'm feeling so disspirited and disheartened. At this point, I can't even imagine throwing a party next year if I'm going to do all the work myself, my co-hosts make fun of my enthusiasm, and then I practically have to hold guests at gunpoint to get them to RSVP. When I suggested to my co-hosts that, well, if no one shows up to the party, we should just go out and hit up a bar in our costumes because we've already put in the effort and made them! And was immediately shot down because "it's too embarrassing" to be seen in a Halloween costume on Halloween.

What's even the point? Last year was so great, this year is so awful. I'm feeling really sorry for myself. :/

 

[dane82]

i feel ya. my halloween party was last friday, and while it turned out pretty good because a lot of the people the co-host invited showed up, the VAST majority of people i invited either didn't show up at all, or got there super late. i've pretty much decided to stop inviting certain people (even very close friends) because they're not going to bother to show. just try to have a good time--i think we as "halloween people" can get so overzealous about the event that we ruin it before it starts because it can't possibly live up to what we've built it up as. i know i get that way. enjoy yourself in spite of what other people are doing.

 

[chocolatemice]

Thanks for the moral support. ^_^ It's just such a turnaround from last year when I had support and interest from my co-hosts; this year they keep disappearing whenever I've started to clean, cook, or decorate (or suggest we do so), and it's so disheartening to do everything by yourself all of a sudden. I'm going to listen to some Halloween music for the rest of my workday and try to recapture some happiness.

 

[HallowsEve31]

I feel like every Halloween is just a little disappointing for me because no one loves it as much as I do. I'm pregnant with twins at the moment, so my husband and I decided not to throw a party this year (it would have been our 8th annual party). I didn't even dress up today for work and I am feeling really emotional and crappy about it. It doesn't even feel like Halloween! Anyways, enough about me. What I came here to say is that I threw a party a couple years ago and only one person showed up. We just made the most of it, ate all of the yummy food I had prepared, watched a scary movie, and then went out to a local bar we had never been to. Tons of people at the bar were dressed up! Don't let someone else steal your Halloween spirit!

 

[GiggleingGhost]

Just a vent because I'm sad and frustrated.

I asked around my invite circle two months ago about having this year's Halloween Party on actual Halloween night. I knew it might be a scheduling crunch because of kids, work, life, etc. I was assured by so many people that last year's party was so much fun and they wouldn't dream of missing it this year, and a Friday night party on actual Halloween would be so awesome. Those who have kids said that their kids were too young for trick or treating anyway, so yeah it'd totally work out, no problem, how fun!

Rolling up to today and SO many people have just not RSVPed or entirely backed out, even a few people who originally RSVPed yes. My co-hosts haven't done anything to help me set up or cook. I'm feeling so disspirited and disheartened. At this point, I can't even imagine throwing a party next year if I'm going to do all the work myself, my co-hosts make fun of my enthusiasm, and then I practically have to hold guests at gunpoint to get them to RSVP. When I suggested to my co-hosts that, well, if no one shows up to the party, we should just go out and hit up a bar in our costumes because we've already put in the effort and made them! And was immediately shot down because "it's too embarrassing" to be seen in a Halloween costume on Halloween.

What's even the point? Last year was so great, this year is so awful. I'm feeling really sorry for myself. :/

Oh ChocolateMouse,

I'm so sorry to hear about your party and how down and out you are. It is so disappointing when you ask and listen to people's input only to have them not keep their end of the bargain and come. As for your co-host . . . stay friends (at arms length) but I strongly suggest that YOU host it yourself EVEN if she has the majority of your guest list in her hand. She sounds like a toxic influence and you can do better on your own. I too suffered from a small turn out for this year's Halloween party. Everyone knew I killed myself getting ready after two leg surgeries and not supposed to walk a lot!!!!! Plus only six people RSVP'd out of 50+ people!!! I was heart sick when only around 20 people from the guest list didn't show up . . . but my ahhh haaaa moment that changed my thinking for a lifetime was this . . . the ones that did come were AWESOME!!! They were all the fun people I always loved and after I realized that the best of the best guests were the one's here . . . focusing on mass numbers that didn't show left my head. I actually enjoyed myself so much more because I could dance (badly), visit/laugh non stop and still have all the kooky games I'd planned with the best kind of people to play them with!!!! I'll never look at the number of guests attending as a measure of my success again. I'd rather have two good friends over than 50 inconsiderate people or ANY friend that would minimize my desire to fun in the face of a major let down. Good for you for wanting to cut your losses and go to a bar to show off your costume and have some fun. SHAME on her for putting your down . . . I feel EMBARRESSED that she was so uncaring about you and how disappointed you rightfully were. I should stop now . . . you have every right to feel like you do and see if you can find a sliver lining in this debacle. But I would sincerely think L-O-N-G and H-A-R-D about letting her cohost or if she is really is as good of a friend to you as you thought she was. Toxic people feed off of nice people and you're way too nice for the likes of her. Okay . . . tucking my mom hat back on my head, taking a deep breath and shutting up. But you get my point! Lololololol. We are here for you my dear girl . . . we're all here for you!

GiggleingGhost

Okay one more thing . . . take it from an older gal . . . anyone that doesn't have a stake in the finances and cooking is NOT going to have a reason to make it a success!!! Just saying . . . now I'll shut up . . . I hope! Lololol.

 

[Jenn&MattFromPA]

Sending you a hug! It's really frustrating to invest time, energy & passion into something and those we care about it just don't appreciate it as much as we'd like. It's hard not to take that personally. I have found that lots of times though, people are just really caught up in their own "thing" and don't really intend to be rude so much as they are rude accidently. Not that it makes you feel any better, but maybe it's easier to let it go that way.

I agree with the above post too - it's way better to have a couple of good friends than a ton of "friends" who aren't really there for you when you need them. Our open house/yard haunt/party was smaller this year than in years past, and a few friends didn't show even though they said they would. I'm frustrated by that, but what can I do about it? Keep doing your thing and the people who appreciate it will continue to do so, and the ones that don't? Well, they don't matter anyway!

 

[Ghost of Spookie]

So how did things turn out? Thinking you are co-hosting an event and having it all fall on you is the worst. So much pressure. I can see why you were in need of venting.

I think if you have a co-host who is not a terribly motivated person as far as hosting goes, it's a good idea to coordinate a baking day when the two of you can get together and make some of the food ahead of time. And for sure plan your menu to make sure that's possible. Give yourself enough time to bake so you can have a fun time together. If she can't make it because of kids or work, ask her if she can tackle a few recipes at her house when she can and then freeze. Think of it like baking ahead for a xmas cookie exchange or something like that. Otherwise stressing out will make it seem like a chore. As for RSVPs, divide up the list and make her responsible for speaking to those on her half. If she's someone you trust to help decorate, then plan a time when you can have lunch or dinner together and pre-place some of the decorations.

I hope despite all you've had to go through you and everyone else had a good time.

 

[Ghost of Spookie]

Also wanted to say people are funny about costumes. Some feel embarrased others think it's stupid (kids do that not adults) and others just are serious people or those that could care less.

I'd recommend not making costumes manadatory and I do think it keeps some people from accepting invites to halloween parties. While it's fun dressing up, at least I think so but I'm more creative minded, having people come who feel good about doing so i think is more important if you want a successful party. If you aren't part of a fun group of friends or co-workers or neighbors, expecting them to be anything else even for one night is unrealistic. No harm in offering a nice prize to entice a best costume competition if enough people are attending though. Money and rewards do sway people to step outside of themselves.

 

[hoegaarden_bier]

Same here in Belgium... It's a challenge to get people interested in Halloween, or even for them to show up when invited,... Well let me tell you, The ones that do not come to the halloween party are missing out BIG time.... I am loving every bit of it,...and so should you,... Don't do it for the other people, but if you can make someone to have a good time or a live-time-lasting memory,.... You have made a difference,... Keep at it,... So will I

 

[chocolatemice]

Thank you all so much for your support. I really needed to hear from like-minded people. ^_^

The party was pretty much a bust, but I've made my peace with it. Sort of, ha. It was disappointing that the enthusiasm was a complete 180 degree turnaround from last year, but what can you do? I think that was really the hardest part for me to deal with-- everyone was so gung-ho last year, excited to dress up, excited to celebrate, just excited, darnit -- and this year it was a resounding whimper of disinterest. I can't quite grasp what caused the difference, but I've decided that this is probably the normal and last year was an exciting aberration.

I'm going to try to forget how embarrassingly lame this party was. ^_^

And next year? I don't know. My knee jerk reaction is that there's no way in hell I'll be throwing a Halloween party next year. I can't imagine doing this again.

That being said, I could see inviting a very select handful of people and having a dinner next October. There is one couple out here who love Halloween but couldn't attend this year because of actual family things taking them out of town. So perhaps with one other enthusiastic couple backing me up, I might find the bravery to throw a spooky (but costume free) dinner party. My sister, who lives terribly far away and also loves Halloween, invited me to ditch my non-Halloween friends next year and come visit her in their magical town filled with kids who actually trick or treat and adults who wear costumes and know how to have fun.

 

[dane82]

part of my problem this year is that i was hosting the party at a friend's house. the last two years have been at my girlfriend's house, but we broke up in july and my friend volunteered to have the party at his place since my place really isn't big enough. there are some things i couldn't do there, but without him there wouldn't have been a party at all so i couldn't complain. i'm hoping that by next year i'm in a bigger place and can host it myself.

 

[halloweenjon]

Thank you all so much for your support. I really needed to hear from like-minded people. ^_^

The party was pretty much a bust, but I've made my peace with it. Sort of, ha. It was disappointing that the enthusiasm was a complete 180 degree turnaround from last year, but what can you do? I think that was really the hardest part for me to deal with-- everyone was so gung-ho last year, excited to dress up, excited to celebrate, just excited, darnit -- and this year it was a resounding whimper of disinterest. I can't quite grasp what caused the difference, but I've decided that this is probably the normal and last year was an exciting aberration.

I'm going to try to forget how embarrassingly lame this party was. ^_^

And next year? I don't know. My knee jerk reaction is that there's no way in hell I'll be throwing a Halloween party next year. I can't imagine doing this again.

That being said, I could see inviting a very select handful of people and having a dinner next October. There is one couple out here who love Halloween but couldn't attend this year because of actual family things taking them out of town. So perhaps with one other enthusiastic couple backing me up, I might find the bravery to throw a spooky (but costume free) dinner party. My sister, who lives terribly far away and also loves Halloween, invited me to ditch my non-Halloween friends next year and come visit her in their magical town filled with kids who actually trick or treat and adults who wear costumes and know how to have fun.

That's really too bad. I wonder what everyone's problem was? Don't they realize how much this all means to you? That you're just trying to entertain them all and have a good time? I don't know why the people close to you would be so cavalier about Halloween. I had my own let-downs about my Halloween party this year, but in the end it wasn't really anybody's fault but my own. My inner circle is full of people who are passionate about Halloween, so they delivered as expected.

My suggestion would be doing something completely different next year. If you decorate your house extensively (and I bet you do), focus on making it nice and creepy and then throw little "mini Halloweens" in October. You can have horror movie nights, dinner parties, haunted house trips, that kind of thing. Keep it small and easy and limited to the people you KNOW aren't gonna bail on Halloween activities.

And if anybody who flaked on this year's party tries to talk you into throwing another big party next year, there's no shame in telling them, politely, that not enough people met you half way so you're not doing it again.

 

[marigolddesigns]

It is very disheartening when you put so much love, enthusiasm and effort into making something special for ALL to enjoy and this happens!
Focus on the few who had a blast! Do it for yourself!
I did something abit different this year....I have found in my 9 years of having a party and watching it evolve...that you find your enthusiasts!
Get them involved! See if they would be interested in the set up, prop building, etc.
True story: My former neighbor of over 25 years ago now lives in Florida. As a young adult, they hosted a Halloween party, it was one of the firsts parties in my young adult life I had ever been to at Halloween in a home. Do you know she sends me props via mail EVERY YEAR??? This year, her and her husband flew in for the party...planned a trip for a week around my party? Those are the types of friends/people to focus on! Not the bummers and the Debbie downers!

Don't let your love of Halloween leave because of negativity!

 

[screamqueen2012]

uuuooo thats bad no help, co hosting...bad bad bad...and no one will go bar hopping in costume...double bad, id be in the front of the line for both.....i love to go strut.....we did huge parties for our kids and invited parents and friends...and they were costume parties...the adults for a year or two dressed and had a ball then i dont know what hit them, i finally stopped the parties for adults and just did our kid group who loves us...then did huge neighborhood parties with a pig pickin...i wanted to have a party and found a crowd that would have fun....lol that went on for a few years and i stopped them......back to my kids group now in college, they are way more fun...... we now go do what we want to do, its less expensive and way less stress......i'll be honest, i got to the point i got tired of spending alot of my money on folks that didnt really appreciate it if you want to know the truth.......i'll do it for my kids though.......

Just a vent because I'm sad and frustrated.

I asked around my invite circle two months ago about having this year's Halloween Party on actual Halloween night. I knew it might be a scheduling crunch because of kids, work, life, etc. I was assured by so many people that last year's party was so much fun and they wouldn't dream of missing it this year, and a Friday night party on actual Halloween would be so awesome. Those who have kids said that their kids were too young for trick or treating anyway, so yeah it'd totally work out, no problem, how fun!

Rolling up to today and SO many people have just not RSVPed or entirely backed out, even a few people who originally RSVPed yes. My co-hosts haven't done anything to help me set up or cook. I'm feeling so disspirited and disheartened. At this point, I can't even imagine throwing a party next year if I'm going to do all the work myself, my co-hosts make fun of my enthusiasm, and then I practically have to hold guests at gunpoint to get them to RSVP. When I suggested to my co-hosts that, well, if no one shows up to the party, we should just go out and hit up a bar in our costumes because we've already put in the effort and made them! And was immediately shot down because "it's too embarrassing" to be seen in a Halloween costume on Halloween.

What's even the point? Last year was so great, this year is so awful. I'm feeling really sorry for myself. :/

 

[Woodsy]

Chin up Chocolate. In 2013 I had a HUGE party planned and it was a HUGE bust. I was so upset and mad that I canceled ALL the 2014 events we normally have including a Fourth Of July party I had been throwing for 26 years !! It would draw up to 100 people. But it has become clear that my friends had come to EXPECT the parties and really did little more than show up . When almost nobody showed up last year I realized that Halloween was not as much fun for folks as it had been. This year it was still a NO GO until a late summer bon fire and when I returned from a trip inside the house the LADIES had all decided THEY wanted a Halloween party and I was welcome to attend . Long story short, I think they did it FOR me and I love them for it. I still did all the work but when the weather turned foul, worst in decades, and we still had a full house 2013 was all but forgot. Next year I really want to do a full blown HAUNT, but the weather this year has me second guessing. The bottom line is do Halloween for yourself and if others want to join in the fun so be it. Now my wife gets her turn because we have TWICE as much x-mas stuff to unpack and set up and I have already pre-ordered our tree !

 

[dbruner]

My first Halloween party was a big success and I looked forward to my second one the following year. I invited the same people plus some more and hired a caterer so that I could spend more time with my guests and not have to worry about it. I also got more beer since I ran out the year before.

Of course the turn out was extremely low and I think everyone left by 10 or 1030 and I had a ton of food and beer left, plus it cost a fortune. I was very disappointed and couldn't figure out what went wrong that year. Maybe its sophomore party thing. The last 3 have been great, but my expectations have evolved. Sadly, no one else loves Halloween like we do!

 

[Greenwick]

That all sounds really disappointing.

We had for a couple years invited people over, and it was fun with a small gathering. Mostly hanging out and watching movies while having snacks. This year everyone was too busy. (In large part, a lot of our friends do NaNoWriMo, which starts at midnight on Halloween. So they usually do launch parties for that.) So we made tentative hang-out plans, but mostly intended to hang out by ourselves and watch spooky movies.

I actually found it was relieving to downgrade my expectations. As I didn't have time to do full-blown decorations (moving to a new house, getting married, and a few other things all ate up whatever time and energy I had left.), I just put up a few things I already had and didn't worry about crafting anything new. It may not be as exciting as a lively gathering, but if next year seems like it will be a bust too I heartily recommend a more subdued holiday where you concentrate on doing the things that really matter to you regarding Halloween.

 

[Sharonr3106]

I posted about this so not so long ago. I have learned the hard way that whilst you are the one who is putting all the work and effort in people don't think twice about letting you down, or how much work, effort, cost you have gone to, to make their night great. I was let down badly for my 40th Birthday Party, which was an 80s night at at venue, mainly by people who I thought were my friends. Sadly, common courtesy and manners just don't exist with the majority of people anymore, what doesn't affect them, doesn't matter . I love Halloween, but I decided a couple of years ago that I would scale the invites right down, I only have about 15-20 close family and some of my Daughters friends now, they all come they all look forward to it and can't wait to see what the theme/decor etc will be. We usually just have Hot Dogs, Cupcakes stuff like that and just have soft drinks, we don't bother with alcohol at all. It's still lots of hard work for me, but I love the making the props etc and although I am totally tired out afterwards it's all worth it, because we always have a great time. It's not about the volume of people that are at your party, the most important thing is that the people who are there, enjoy it and love what you do as much as you do. I'm sure all the props and decor you had were great, don't let others spoil it for you. Next year just invite those closest to you, that you know will love it

 

[celipops]

You are not alone. I had my party this year on Halloween. Out of 28 people who said they "wouldn't miss it for the world" after I sent them the video invite - 3 people came over. That's spelled three.
I cooked a 16lb turkey and all the trimmings. Plus had appetizers for 30 that were pirate themed. Games were crafted. Prizes were purchased. End of night favors were made.
It was a big disappointment. On the plus side, the new neighbors appreciated the platters of food I sent over later that evening. My friends don't live eat and breath halloween like I do.
I wish I lived closer to a fellow haunter. Surely two is better than one when it comes to party planning. I've never had a cohost to help even the work load. My friends don't really understand the amount of effort to execute a party and if I asked for help- they would probably ask me what type of chip can they bring. I don't think I will plan one for 2015. Reading that woodsy cancelled his big 4th of July bash made me think about St Patricks Day. I've been hosting a party for the past 15 years. I always have such a big turn out, I'm turning people away. Is it the homemade food? The Guinness? The Jameson? Is it all the above coupled with, there isn't other holiday completion to split the crowd? ie. Trick or treating, halloween school events, Haunted Attractions, 'The Damned ' Halloween concert, other Halloween parties, the Monster Bash block party....

Makes me rethink :/

I hope you made the best of the night.

 

[matrixmom]

Chocolate - so sorry about your party. Thats a bummer. I think the main issue with everyone here was that the party was on Halloween. I had mine on Oct 11, (too early I know- I thought it was going to be a bust too) but except for 4 people, all showed up, plus more of sons teenage friends just kept coming saying hi to me and eating all the grub.
Maybe have it a little earlier next year....everyone has been waiting for Halloween to land on Fri or Sat - and now that it did they prob had a whole bunch of options.