[jjossey0015]

We had our party this weekend (looked awesome, pics soon hopefully) but there were some little things that made me say WTF??? So in the living room, I had the TV turned to Shudder's Ghoul Log, which if you haven't heard of it it's basically a jack o lantern scene that just plays on a loop. Think those Christmas fire places but its a pumpkin. I come in maybe an hour into the party and people had changed the TV to football! Also, I had a playlist of Halloween music playing and people kept getting the iPod and changing the music. Is it just me or is this completely disrespectful? I don't think people realize the hard work that goes into planning a Halloween party so for people just to come in and start changing stuff really made me mad. I wouldn't go into someone else's house and start changing the TV or music at their party. Anyways, just looking for other's opinion on the matter. What would you do?

 

[Frankie's Girl]

I would feel exactly the same, but also likely let it go. There are likely some guests that just don't care enough about how much trouble you've gone to and get bored easily, and/or got dragged to the party by a more enthusiastic date/spouse. Especially the ones that changed the tv to sports.

Next time, for the music thing I'd likely hide or cover up with some sort of prop so they can't find/access the changer easily. Or put a funny/scary sign on it "DO NOT TOUCH! POISON! RADIOACTIVE!" and hide the tv remotes REALLY well. If you don't make it easy for them, they might ask and then you can say "oh no, this is a Halloween party and I really want to leave that alone with it set up as is - thanks for understanding!"

 

[jjossey0015]

I would feel exactly the same, but also likely let it go.

You sound like my wife I tried to let it go, and I asked multiple times to leave the music as it was, even went so far as to hide it, but they kept finding it. If I hadn't asked them to stop I probably would've let it go, but I did end up getting nasty towards the end. But next year everything will DEFINITELY be hidden well.

 

[Frankie's Girl]

Oh wow I'd be pretty miffed if I'd asked folks to leave things alone and they didn't... could get a nice lock box and put the controllers/ipod completely out of reach!

 

[bobby2003]

When I have a party there is a NO TV PERIOD rule. I don't tell my guests that because I think it's rude so I just turn off any TVs shortly before people arrive, unless I have one playing music, and then hide all the remotes.

 

[dane82]

after several years of hosting a halloween party, here's the one rule that i'm absolutely sure of:

no matter how much work you put into something, ultimately nobody gives a [redacted].

i think every single year (at least since the party has been at our current house) about half the guests end up in the living room watching either football or baseball. but at least they're not just congregating in the kitchen and standing around, which is what they're usually doing for the first hour or so. no matter what elaborate game or activity we plan to try to get people doing something, most everyone just sorta groans their way through it until they can get back to basically doing nothing. beer pong is the one thing that generally has some participation, and the number of overall participants seems to shrink each year even for that.

so the corollary to the one rule stated above is this: if you're going to put work into something, only do so because you enjoy doing it.

there are two reasons to host a party--because you enjoy it, and because your guests enjoy it. if you slave away at something that isn't enjoyable for you just for the sake of the guests, it's possible they'll end up enjoying it, but it's just as likely that they'll either do it out of a sense of obligation and won't enjoy it, or they won't do it at all and you'll resent them for it.

all this to say, next year we're really going to half-[redacted] the effort we put into our party.

 

[jjossey0015]

Yeah I think that might be more of my issue, is I put so much heart and thought (and money) into pulling off one perfect party a year, and in MY mind, I feel like everyone should show up and leave going "man I can't wait until next year". So in my mind, changing the tv or music makes it seem like people aren't digging what I'm putting down, which again, I put so much effort into, and it's kind of a stab to the heart. But I'm sure I take that too personally. I really do enjoy putting on the parties, but I also want people to have that feeling like I do about Halloween, but I'm sure its more about a party for most. Trying not to take it too personal though, I mean, no one at the party even knew who I was (a tethered from Us), most don't even watch scary movies, and every day is DEFINITELY not Halloween like it is for me.

 

[dane82]

i was talking about our party with some friends of mine to get some input on what we can do differently, and one of them said "it's a fun evening and a chance to dress up." i think that's the attitude most people have about it, and it's different than we feel about it but it's still okay i suppose.

 

[deadhouseplant]

That sounds completely out of line to me. I also had the tv on during our party last weeked ( a slide show of past party pictures) and a playlist playing from my phone and no one touched anything. If I knew who it was and especially if I asked them to stop and they didn't I'm pretty positive they would not be getting invited next year. If they didn't want to be at a Halloween party then they shouldn't have come. I've realized after this year that we need to make some changes to our invite list because we do a ton of work for our party and I only want people that are excited to be there and appreciate it. I don't need people who feel like they are doing me a favor by coming. It probably depends on your relationship to these people if you want to keep inviting them but if you can I would cut them from future invite lists. It's your party and if some of these people are making it not fun for you get rid of them.

 

[jjossey0015]

Yeah it definitely sucks, because they aren’t my good friends but they are good friends of my wife. And the TV changers/football watchers are my sister in law and her husband. Like I said, I’m sure that my need to be a control freak probably doesn’t help my feelings about the situation. But in the same regards I wouldn’t go to someone else’s house and change the tv and music without at least asking first, but we were all given different values and beliefs. It’s definitely made me reevaluate things and question whether the hard work (and money!) are worth putting into it again. I might just take the party money and put that towards props next year!

 

[deadhouseplant]

That's really sad to me that these people are ruining having a party for you. I don't think your feeling about it are unreasonable. Fortunately most of my party poopers that I am obligated to invite don't show up. If focusing more on your haunt instead of the party would make you happier then you should do that. Maybe when some of these people don't have a fun party to go to they will rethink not appreciating yours, but probably not.

 

[GirlNo3Belcher]

That's outrageously rude. I definitely think you were right to say something. I would have started off polite and light hearted, but if someone repeatedly changed the music or tv from our intended effect, I would have gone off on them by the end. I feel lucky that most of my guests appreciate the work that we put into the house and I'd be seriously annoyed if someone messed with any of our effects.

Honestly, I get annoyed enough with my well-meaning, people-pleasing SO. Every year someone inevitably requests a song (and every single time it's something that already came on the playlist earlier in the night and they either weren't there yet or weren't paying attention), and my SO will go put it on for them - and then just walk away from the laptop. I spend weeks to months putting together the playlist every year, and the songs are in a specific order. So my SO puts on the requested song, and then it continues from that place in the playlist (all of which we've already heard). A few days later he will then have the audacity to remark, surprised and confused, that we really need to work on next year's playlist because it played a lot of the same songs more than once. 😑 This has been going on for years despite my repeated explanations and it finally took me being hypervigilent of what song was currently on so that I could run and start the playlist at the correct spot after someone got their second dose of Thriller. It annoys me to no end - and that's my partner who also lives there and is working just as hard as I am to get the house ready for Halloween. I can't even imagine the lack of patience I would have for a guest messing with it. 😂😂

 

[jjossey0015]

That's outrageously rude. I definitely think you were right to say something. I would have started off polite and light hearted, but if someone repeatedly changed the music or tv from our intended effect, I would have gone off on them by the end. I feel lucky that most of my guests appreciate the work that we put into the house and I'd be seriously annoyed if someone messed with any of our effects.

Honestly, I get annoyed enough with my well-meaning, people-pleasing SO. Every year someone inevitably requests a song (and every single time it's something that already came on the playlist earlier in the night and they either weren't there yet or weren't paying attention), and my SO will go put it on for them - and then just walk away from the laptop. I spend weeks to months putting together the playlist every year, and the songs are in a specific order. So my SO puts on the requested song, and then it continues from that place in the playlist (all of which we've already heard). A few days later he will then have the audacity to remark, surprised and confused, that we really need to work on next year's playlist because it played a lot of the same songs more than once. 😑 This has been going on for years despite my repeated explanations and it finally took me being hypervigilent of what song was currently on so that I could run and start the playlist at the correct spot after someone got their second dose of Thriller. It annoys me to no end - and that's my partner who also lives there and is working just as hard as I am to get the house ready for Halloween. I can't even imagine the lack of patience I would have for a guest messing with it. 😂😂

I felt like I was reading a response I typed out 😂 I started out by just changing it back at first, the second time I said hey guys, nobody change the music, and the third time I just snatched the iPod off and put it in my pocket, so no more music. My wife doesn’t understand that I’ve spent hours and hours (much more than I’d like to admit) tweaking and adjusting the playlist so it never repeats. And she’s under the impression that “it’s just music, it’s not a big deal”, which to me it is! It’s the same thing with the movie trailers I show, it’s all intentional and laid out in order, from old to new, ending with the new Halloween. And also if it’s not a big deal then why not just leave it alone? I wanna hear Boris Pickett and Rob Zombie and SCOTS during Halloween, not Lizzo and I Will Survive! And like I said to my wife, if that’s the kind of Halloween party they want, then they should throw their own, not take over mine. But yeah, I’m over it, we’ll probably have another and I’ll take more of a backseat approach next time. BUT the evil side of me has already started planning a prank, where my friend changes the music, and I “stab” him while screaming THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CHANGE MY MUSIC!!! (He was on my side when it all went down and has already agreed haha) Like the great AC/DC says, if you want blood, you got it! 😁

 

[BewitchedFae]

That’s incredibly rude for people to do. I can’t even begin to imagine!!! You could put a child lock or password on to your iPod so that the music can’t be changed. I love Frankie’s Girl suggestion if a lock box or a funny/scary sign. Do TVs these days have child locks/passwords to use the cable or change the channel?