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Mill Creek Haunted Hollow
6,359 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, this is going to sound weird, but...

My oldest daughter has a science teacher that really aggrivates me. But rather than going into my daughter's school and punching this teacher in the throat, getting arrested in front of my daughter and her classmates, shaming my family with a court case, and eventually only seeing my wife and girls through plexiglass...I would like to "honor" him with a tombstone.

So, anyone out there have a good epitaph for a middle school science teacher pain-in-the-butt who has lost the magic of teaching and the inherent wonder and mystery of youth?

Here's an example I just came up with:

Here lies a teacher who couldn't care less.
His homework amounted to nothing but stress.

He lies here now, his bones are dust.
For he did not read the word combust!

Typical Ghoul Next Door
7,981 Posts
I like the one you came up with.

Or what about:

His initials (and then below that)
Those who can, do.
Those who can't,
teach middle school science (badly).

3,637 Posts
I love this idea! I have a problem of my own only it involves a certain tire manufacturer(cough~Firestone~cough). Two inner sidewall blow-outs in 6 weeks nearly put US in a grave!
I'm gonna make sure and display the blown tire on halloween with their own little stone...lol!

Lord of the Cemetery
2,081 Posts
Here's a couple off the bat.

"Here lies the body of Mr Rice
He did not heed
this simple advice
teach the young ones
while you may
For with the worms
You soon must play"


"Beneath this stone
Lies Mr Rice
A Science teacher,
none too nice.
"An apple for teacher"!
"How lovely" He said.
But the arsenic within it
Has made him quite dead.

Mill Creek Haunted Hollow
6,359 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·

Think I might take a little liberty with yours so the sylllables match on the first and second line:

This science teacer passed away,
When none in his class received an 'A'
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