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Mill Creek Haunted Hollow
6,359 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, this is going to sound weird, but...

My oldest daughter has a science teacher that really aggrivates me. But rather than going into my daughter's school and punching this teacher in the throat, getting arrested in front of my daughter and her classmates, shaming my family with a court case, and eventually only seeing my wife and girls through plexiglass...I would like to "honor" him with a tombstone.

So, anyone out there have a good epitaph for a middle school science teacher pain-in-the-butt who has lost the magic of teaching and the inherent wonder and mystery of youth?

Here's an example I just came up with:

Here lies a teacher who couldn't care less.
His homework amounted to nothing but stress.

He lies here now, his bones are dust.
For he did not read the word combust!

Typical Ghoul Next Door
7,560 Posts
I like the one you came up with.

Or what about:

His initials (and then below that)
Those who can, do.
Those who can't,
teach middle school science (badly).

949 Posts
Ahhh, so it's not Mr.Norris than. that guy was a punk.

In this grave
Lies Mr.Rice,
Once alive
But now on ice.

I once knew a teacher, named mr.rice
He was a pain in the neck, to be precise.

3,635 Posts
I love this idea! I have a problem of my own only it involves a certain tire manufacturer(cough~Firestone~cough). Two inner sidewall blow-outs in 6 weeks nearly put US in a grave!
I'm gonna make sure and display the blown tire on halloween with their own little stone...lol!

591 Posts
Last thing he said,
Everyone turn on there bunson burners;
Now light!

A flame shaped tombstone for firestone!

Lord of the Cemetery
2,081 Posts
Here's a couple off the bat.

"Here lies the body of Mr Rice
He did not heed
this simple advice
teach the young ones
while you may
For with the worms
You soon must play"


"Beneath this stone
Lies Mr Rice
A Science teacher,
none too nice.
"An apple for teacher"!
"How lovely" He said.
But the arsenic within it
Has made him quite dead.

Insert Witty Comment Here
4,484 Posts
Here lies Mr Rice
The meanest teacher we ever knew
The only thing we learned from him
Is that he's now turning into goo

Insert Witty Comment Here
4,484 Posts
The science teacher
Mysteriously passed away
When noone in his class
Got an 'A'


Mr Rice is buried here
That's why the children cheer


Mr Rice is buried here
So TK421 is having a beer

Mill Creek Haunted Hollow
6,359 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
These are great! Thanks so much for all thecreative responses!!

As these come in, it's becoming more and more difficult to pick my favorite.

Mill Creek Haunted Hollow
6,359 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·

Think I might take a little liberty with yours so the sylllables match on the first and second line:

This science teacer passed away,
When none in his class received an 'A'

630 Posts
Here lies Mr. Rice
For that F, he
Paid the ultimate
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