Are you really willing to sell your soul to give your columns more durability? I assume that is one of the requirements to using satan spar urethane. You know, "mix well, sacrifice three virgins and a goat, sign your soul over under contract, apply with even brush strokes, allow to dry thoroughly..." 
Yes, I know you meant "satin" but how could I not have a little prankish fun?
Yes, I know you meant "satin" but how could I not have a little prankish fun?
