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lies dead but dreaming
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Ok I am sidelined from alot to most of our set up and about 50% of build due to a foot injury requiring surgery. My Wife who has been with me working on this every year has taken over with our adult childrens help.

My wife's Sister as we are starting to set up and starts to lecture about how "the right way" to set this stuff up is. Now She has never done more than decorate her porch but I give gladly that she does that very well, however I really had to bite my tongue a bit to keep from out right telling her off.

The wife and I and our kids have built a Horse Drawn Hearse prop. The SIL started saying how we need vases of flowers not garlands and sprays,:p It was only when I reminded her my cousin is a retired mortician and funeral director, who actually had a family owned horse drawn hearse on hand always used garlands and wreaths because they could be properly anchored for the ride to the grave site did she back off.

Now I know she is excited to help and I kinda feel bad about shutting her down. but me my wife and my kids have put 8 years and many long hours into this yard haunt. :confused:

She backed off and is still helping however I am curious to know how others deal with "overly enthusiastic help"

oh and hearse is the hearse (sans wheels) for fun:cool:

Halloween prep week 1 by Monica Riney, on Flickr
 

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I asked my dad to load the outside music onto my iPod one year about an hour before trick or treat. I had already setup a playlist so that there was nothing major to take care of. Upon plugging the music in and playing it, I noticed that he had edited it and added some of his own "Halloween" music to the mix. Needless to say, I was not pleased, and I was DEFINITELY vocal about it. I mean come on, we only get one night, shouldn't it go like we plan? I'm with you on this one!
 

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Well, I don't know your SIL, but I admit that I am the kind of person who can get very excited or "set" in my own ideas of how something should look, especially if it's something I enjoy doing. So, maybe your SIL was excited at the prospect of having a hand in a bigger Halloween display than what she normally gets to do, and took it a little too far. Not so much deliberately trying to be bossy but trying to add her own value to the process, KWIM?

If you think that's the case - she just got carried away & isn't normally a know-it-all rude person, then yeah, I say let it go and do your best to bite your tongue, knowing she's helping out.

But, if she's generally the sort of person who is bossy and wants her own way, then a flat out "SIL, we really appreciate your help, but this is OUR display and we'd appreciate it if you could respect our wishes on how it is set-up" might be necessary.

By the way, since this is your wife's sister, I think a quick conversation with your wife on how you want to handle this is a good plan in order to keep things cool with your wife. I know I'd appreciate it if my husband either gave me a chance to handle it politely with my sister first, or if my husband told me about it and then I could be there to back him up.

Hope it gets resolved for you!
 

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rdj.jpg

And that's typically how I feel about that. It's nice she wants to help, but this is yours and your immediate family's project. Take things into consideration and don't alienate her, but also don't allow yourself to be swayed because of who she is and how she might react. Some people, you give them an inch and they want a mile, so it's best to be firm about where you stand on these kinds of things from day 1.
 

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Here to burgle your turts
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Get a lot of this from family even without asking for assistance. Unfortunately we've got at least one "expert on everything". You can't be bothered to even carve a pumpkin but you're certain I'm doing everything wrong.
*closes eyes and does controlled breathing*

"You know what you SHOULD do..." is the worst phrase in the world.
 

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Funeral Crasher
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That's the very reason I kill myself every Halloween day setting up all my props in the yard by myself. Nobody else knows how to properly position anything the way it should be (a.k.a. the way I want it). :)
My wife and daughter have gotten pretty good over the years in helping me. But that's about it.

I'd much rather not put out a prop at all, than to have it set up the wrong way. I've always been a perfectionist when it come to the props I make.
 

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I've been doing this long enough to realize that saying "there's always room for improvement" actually means there's always room for improvement. I've heard too many suggestions that I thought were stupid turn out awesome to discount the vision of others. As I told my kids last year and again this year when they ask how something should be set out... "I'm just making props. Where they go, and how they are set up, is entirely up to you guys."

As George Patton is quoted as saying, "if everyone in a room agrees on everything, someone isn't doing their job!" The kids have their vision, I have mine, and neither is always the better one. :)
 

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The Minister of Macabre
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I have those that want to help show up when it's time to take down, pack up, and clean. That's when you know who is really committed to helping!

I'm with DaveintheGrave, I do all the set up myself.
 

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Somewhat Eccentric
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My Halloween obsession is the one area where I don't have outside interference! It's the rest of my life where everyone wants to add their "two cents" worth and drive me crazy! :mad:
 
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