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Howdy!

I help take care of my 83 year old father. He's a heart patient, 3-time stroke survivor, AND has a form of dementia! (Frontotemporal Lobe Dementia). We moved from Atlanta back to my rural southern hometown to help take care of him in 2007. Our home has a full apartment/house for my parents under the same roof, which is awesome. I help with him every single day, and I'm glad to do it!

I've had to get to know a new person as my Dad. He was a very successful trial lawyer for almost 50 years. Brilliant man, well read, truly a force to be reckoned with. So, seeing him now is an everyday challenge , especially for my Mom.... His wife of 59 years!

Any other haunters out there in the same boat? Share! Sometimes it helps to just know others understand. And the FTD support forum I'm a member of is just too damn depressing to go to very often. Isn't that a trip? A support forum you don't want to visit! LOLOL :D
 

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Sorry to hear about your dad. Hang in there. I know exactly how stressful taking care of a loved one is. My Grandmother passed away last January . She was 95. She lived with us along with my Mother . My Granny was a sick woman with one active kidney. She always was in and out of hospitals and rehab . This went on for about 5 years. Very taxing as you know on the family. Then my Aunt.
got sick with lung cancer that went to her brain and she passed away last Dec. Last year and this year we will not be having our annual Halloween bash. So I know what your going through! It's hard. Hang in there. You and your family are in my prayers!
 

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Sorry to hear about your dad. Hang in there. I know exactly how stressful taking care of a loved one is. My Grandmother passed away last January . She was 95. She lived with us along with my Mother . My Granny was a sick woman with one active kidney. She always was in and out of hospitals and rehab . This went on for about 5 years. Very taxing as you know on the family. Then my Aunt.
got sick with lung cancer that went to her brain and she passed away last Dec. Last year and this year we will not be having our annual Halloween bash. So I know what your going through! It's hard. Hang in there. You and your family are in my prayers!
Thanks! It's trying sometimes, no doubt about it.

I think part of Halloween and haunting for me is just a creative break from all that makes up my reality. You know?
 

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I absolutely understand, we moved home to be with my wifes parents and to take care of them. My father in law has Parkinsons disease and from 1997 untill nursing home placement in 2007 he was at home being cared for by us. My wife broke her back in 2003 and so as a result I have have taken care of her and her parents for 11 years, not to mention working full time as an ER nurse. Some days it feels like all I do is take care of everyone but me. At times it can be so frustrating but in the end it feels great to be able to help those you love.
 

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Well. it wasn't a relative..I have worked at the same farm ,well, Nov 14th will be 20 yrs. The man who was my Boss was a self made multi millionaire.He was an insurance man.Never graduated HS ( joined the marines in WWII) Came home, learned the insurance business. Came up with the idea to provide insurance for Volunteer Fire companies (VFIS) Worked his butt off. Gave lots of money away to lots of less fortunate, schools, art and cultural programs etc. A man that pretty much anyone in the community knew, and liked. He was DX'd Alzheimers in 2004. He died in 2013.It was very hard to see him go from a very capable man to helpless. As the person living on the farm a lot fell on me in the beginning..When he lost things, couldn't remember how to turn off the lights in his car ,thought he was out of gas when he was reading the temperature guage at 9pm one night at the restaraunt..( I was so happy when they finally took away the car) running interference and clean up when he got into something like 'building' or wanted to ride his horse. ( he had a mini stroke or something the one time we took him out. Talk about scary ) His wife ( #4) was pretty useless,and somewhat of a drama queen/control freak which made things worse. Then when they started having caretakers come in I found out they were useless too. ( seriously..you need to call me because you do not know how to work the sattelite TV, even though I made an explicit instruction sheet, with photos and everything?? What do you mean the generator isnt working? If the phone is working ,the generator is running.How many times do I have to tell you it doesnt power everything in the house, just necessities and a few lights? One let him walk out the front door in the middle of the night and he fell and broke his hip..then put him back to bed.Oh and yes the best one..The fire alarm went off and the house started filling up with smoke from a boiler misfire,and the nurse hung up on the alarm dispatch company when they asked if she needed the FD, saying " I need to call the barn girl and see what to do" I got her *** fired.Luckily all those calls are recorded,) And in bad weather I was responsible for making sure they got up and down the driveway( 3 shifts a day 7,3,11) So even though I was not actually the one taking care of HIM..I had a lot of stress. Now my BF is taking care of /living with a 95 yr old he and his family 'adopted' years ago, He has no family of his own, they call him Uncle Charlie. I think this has been an eye opening experience for the BF.Plus his dad has been Dx'd with some form of dementia, so no end in sight really. I grew up seeing my Mom take care of one relative after another, and I helped when grandpa needed round the clock help. Luckily that was right after I graduated HS , so I did morning until supper, Mom would go to work when I got there, after work go home make supper and then I would go home. So for me . it is just something you do.No one in our family ever had dementia issues though, other than one in the last stages of cancer, and that didnt last long.But it is never easy.then you feel guilty because you might wish it was over for a moment..So hugs to you all who have this to deal with round the clock. Many of us KNOW what it takes!
 

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I can definitely empathize with all the posts. My mother has RA, Parkinson's and Addison's. Her and her friend/caretaker/boyfriend decided to move to a town 60 miles out of Vegas. I live in the NorthWest. I can't even begin to imagine what it is like but feel free to poke me when you need an offline chat.
 
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