[Regions Beyond]

In essence, due to a health issue with a family member turned out to be more serious than initially diagnosed and that coupled with the fact that past few years of doing display at their home (parent's) backyard which is western themed (see here) have felt less and less rewarding in terms of 'interest level' from the people who see it and no public access, really am just currently in a slump and lost basically all the usual pre-Halloween energy and excitement. Even doubtful get to attend the usual events go to with family at the so. California theme parks - Knott's Scary Farm, HHN, home haunts, etc, due to father's health and that rather adds to the depression. Not sure what seek to gain by typing all this out, just has hit me hard and unexpectedly - figured at least folks here could appreciate the rather surprising feeling of 'hurt' or loss at the lack of excitement tied in with recent developments, and even guilt from worrying about such 'trivial' things in light of the health issues at play with the parent, being selfish if want things to be normal at all.

So apologies for this rant, and if thread really doesn't belong here, my apologies to site staff - it can be moved to whatever sub-forum is most fitting. I just felt had to say this somewhere and don't expect it to be 'fixed' or sympathy just to do so - things just very difficult right now on an internal level and the lack of enthusiasm for usually one of my favorite things proving to be a very unsettling manifestation of that.

Wish could get back a little of the energy and feeling I had that inspired me to make this post a few months ago....

 

[scareme]

Sorry to hear about your family health problems. It can weigh really heavy on every on every part of your life. I know it sounds trite, but maybe this year would be a good time to enjoy the little things about the holiday. The less you expect this year to be, the more you would be pleasantly surprised by anything that does happen around Halloween time. And right now you should be concerned about your own health. All this stress will start taking it's toll on you. Keep posting your thoughts on here. It does you good to be able to talk about it, and you're right, we understand where you are coming from. I don't think anyone on here hasn't had an "off" year. But it doesn't have to change your way of thinking forever. Just start right now by enjoying the things starting to come out in the stores. I don't know where you live, but if things start to cool down in the next month, enjoy the cooler temperatures. Little things like that. It may not sound like much, but that's what I'm talking about. don't expect much, and you might be happy with the little things. I hope your father's health issues improve, and things go better in your life.

 

[WitchyKitty]

I fully agree with everything scareme said above. It happens to many of us from time to time, either with family issues, health issues, money problems or even just the general feeling of being stuck in a rut. I lost my Grandpa, who raised me like a daughter, just two weeks before Halloween a few years ago. He was very sick for the month or so leading up to it, as well. I was not able to enjoy the holiday at all...and yes, both of these issues, my Grandpa being sick and the lack of enjoyment of my favorite time of year, massively upset me. It tore me apart. It shook my sense of normality, of what things should be. I wanted nothing more than for him to be healthy, happy and to be helping me make some awesome Halloween decorations! It truly does happen to most everyone in their lives. It's normal and not selfish in the least. It's very hard to explain here, in typed words, but I know what you are feeling. It's an emotional thing all around when one already upsetting, bad thing in your life leads to other upsetting things in your life. It's like a snowball of emotions, one thing leading to another and to another. Like scareme said, for now, try to find enjoyment in the more subtle touches of the season, rather than focusing on what you may be missing, and trust that things will get better. Keep hanging out here in the forums and vent to us if you need to! I truly hope things get better for your dad real soon...and for you!!

 

[printersdevil]

We do understand and many of us have been there. I have had major health issues for the past three Halloween seasons and really upset things. It is amazing how things like this can impact your overall life. Like the others said, take a step back and just enjoy the small things. Why don't you join the Secret Reaper? There is a little less than a week left to sign up. This will be something that can occupy your time as you prepare something for your victim and you will have such a great time when you receive your gifts. It is a small thing that will have a big impact on you---at least from my experiences with the Secret Reaper. You will have a month of time before having to ship your gifts and the board will be busy with all of us posting and hyping the event. I think that were also be one more SR before Halloween. This is a great way to have fun and sounds to be just what you need.

Good luck and just vent away. We all understand. I hope that your parent's health gets better.

 

[WitchyKitty]

I was thinking maybe you would like to join SR, as well. Maybe it would help your spirit a little. Just something to consider.

 

[Gym Whourlfeld]

My Dad had called out to my Brother. He thought a bee had stung him in the nose as he was waking up that morning.
That night as the Ravens Grin was in the middle of a very busy October weekend, I was called and told my Dad was in the Hospital 75 miles away and that I should get there as fast as possible!
I had trouble finding the right entrance to get into the Hospital. I found my Dad's room. Some other family members were there who lived closer to this Hospital.
The imagined "Bee Sting" had been a stroke. He was laying there barely breathing.
My Cousin who is a Nurse walked over to me and said:"Your Dad is Not going to make it, Jim."
(But knew many people who had strokes and survived!)
Not this time.
I got to see my Dad take his last few labored breaths.. then he was gone.
He had died on October 26th, my youngest Son's Birthday.
Life is meant to be lived, enjoy every moment of it, it is "finite" after all, good wishes for your situation.

 

[Dark Passenger]

I'm sorry you and your family are dealing with so many difficulties.

You have no reason to be hard on yourself; everything you're going through is normal. It's one of depression's many cruel aspects, taking away your interest in things that bring you happiness, but giving you plenty of guilt and pain over it. The silver lining is that it won't last forever. It might not last long enough (or stay strong enough) to keep you from doing something to celebrate Halloween this year. If you're not up to celebrations, it's completely understandable and not a reason to give yourself a hard time.

 

[Spookilicious mama]

I am so sorry to hear about your family and can relate to the Halloween doldrums. I think at one point we all have experienced something similar by way of feelings. Gym Whourlfeld is right life is meant to be lived and to keep moving. (Gym so sorry to hear about your dad and the time it happened not that any time is good but that time of the year knowing what you do and what it means to you had to have been hard as I imagine each year is a bit hard) Regions beyond hang in there. No need to apologize ever on here. We are all here to listen and at some time or another most have taken advantage of knowing this is a safe place to rant and we are here to listen. It will get better.