1. Name the top ten Christmas movies. It's OK, I'll wait.
I thought so. There hasn't been a decent Christmas holiday movie since A Christmas Story. But you can see a good scary movie every day of October and not run out of stuff to watch.
2. The streets are safer on Halloween. Really. Christmas is the one time of the year your myopic old grandmother climbs into her 1972 Buick and makes her annual pilgrammage to the mall, still burning the last dregs of leaded gas in her tank. Multiply that event by a few thousand and put all those Buicks in a mall parking lot, and you have an insurance adjuster's nightmare. On Halloween, grandma stays home and gives out nutritious treats to kids. Which sounds safer to you?
3. You will never go to a Christmas party populated by pirates and harem girls.
4. Halloween is optional. If you don't enjoy it, you don't have to celebrate it. Try boycotting Christmas and see what happens. Simply attempting to explain why you are not celebrating Christmas is fraught with social peril. It would be easier to explain why you hate puppies.
5. You don't have to wake up early on Halloween, and you don't have to drive to your relative's house and eat the suspicious-looking casserole.
6. Suicide and domestic abuse rates spike during the Christmas season. Maybe all that family togetherness and time off from work isn't such a good idea. Nobody gets a day off on Halloween, and if you don't want to talk to your drunk Uncle Ernie, you can wear a mask so he can't find you.
7. Only Halloween stores and haunted houses play Halloween music. On Christmas, every flipping retail Musac-subscriber plays sappy Christmas songs until you want to kill something. That's probably what happened to Michael Myers: he realized there were only a few more weeks until Musac season and just snapped.
8. On Halloween, other people decorate your trees.
9. On Halloween, the leaves are turning, the air is dry and cool, and a cloudy day just seems like a good excuse to watch a scary movie. On Christmas, it's cold and damp, the trees are bare, and it manages to avoid snowing on the one day a year you can sit home and enjoy it.
10. Whose lap would you rather sit in: Santa Claus or Elvira, Mistress of the Dark?