Damn! I just did some checking on your place. You made me curious with tidbits I've picked up here and there. I was so surprised to see where you are. I have a house in Dubuque, with a sister in LaMotte. And you're just across the river. Small world. Next time I'm up in Iowa I'll try to make it to your haunt. I only get up about once or twice a year. Damn, small world.
I read your post and I understand what you mean. But remember the little things in life too. All thoses horror movies we watched, I see it as a small escape of real life, for just a moment, you cheer for the good guys, scream at the tv when the bad guys is right behind the door, for the woman not turn slowly, and instead, just run like crazy. Good or bad, movies are stories for every to see. Most people are proud of them, even they don't realise sometimes, they are horrible. Anyway, Sit down, and try to remember what you accomplished in life and also what cards were delt to you since birth. Be proud, you probebly did more than many people could ever dreamed of doing. Myself, I was delt bad hands all my life, and my luck is always been very bad, as thinking I have been cursed for some unknown reason, but I then look around and realise, I manage to do so much with my life, and I did it for myself, and no one else.