Thread: How does your BYOB work?

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This year for the first time ever I asked guests to "make an offerring of "spirits" to the bar, in the form of a bottle/pack/case of their favorite liquor or adult beverage." We specified that we would still have mixers, food, and ambiance (I still spent almost $2000).

In theory, I thought people would bring a bottle of booze, put it on the bar, and all partake, like they do when WE stock the bar. We put our full liquor cabinet out, we probably had 8-10 bottles of various things that were partially full, including for sure 1 1/2 bottles of gin, a full Seagrams, a mostly full brandy, etc.

And that was not at all how it worked out. Keep in mind most of my guests are in our 30's, so not "new" drinkers.

People brought liquor, and half of them "hid" it in various places around the house (porch, other less traveled areas) so nobody else would see/have any.

EVERYONE took their unfinished bottles & packages home, save one person who left a bottle of Kaluha.

ALL of our provided alcohol was gone, except one bottle.

Is it me, or is this strange?!?!? I had hoped after all the $$ we spend, that maybe this would at least help build up our bar for future events, of course I expected things to be drunk, but I did not at all expect people to be so cheap and territorial when I'm so generous with everything else!

Not a huge deal, and everything else went great, but it's definitely something I'm thinking about as far as what to do in the future. I'm almost 8 months pregnant, and there were 3 other pregos in attendance, so I don't even know who really consumed all of that (we had about 35 guests). I know I can't afford to provide everything I do + a full bar anymore, but I'm not sure if this strategy really was any better - I did not plan to have to totally restock the bar afterwards!

Thats a tough call with the BYOB, if people bring a bottle I have noticed they don't share as much as say bringing a 12 pack. We usually buy two big bottles of something like rum or vodka and have guest bring beer, seems to work better.

Your theory is on the right track. Its unfortunate that people hid their alcohol around your house, especially people in their 30's.
Over the years we have tried different things. In our early years we never requested or even mentioned the alcohol and people showed up empty handed and were requesting all kinds of different drinks. My husband and his 2 buddies were the bartenders and were too busy to enjoy the party. Way to much work!

One year we told them we would be serving margaritas, beer & shots, and directly asked if they could bring their favorite tequila or vodka. That worked very well. (Someone even brought jello shots which were VERY popular and everyone got a little more tipsy than anticipated!)

We also have wine drinkers, which to me is difficult because I don't know anything about wine. I try to buy a couple bottles of some better known Halloweeny-looking wine, but they know to bring their favorite (no way could I keep track of that, too!) They keep it at the bar and request their wine whenever they need a refill.

This year I did not mention booze, and they brought tequila and wine. (I think I must have them trained by now!)

Was someone acting as a bartender or were they helping themselves? That might make a difference to them.

We have people help themselves, so nobody gets trapped behind the bar all night. I love the idea of having people bring a specific kind of booze or wine, that is pretty great. Will definitely keep that in mind for next year!

I am so surprised that people brought alcohol to your party and hid it. Usually people ask "what can I bring to your party?" You told them, and they acted like this was something they had to keep for themselves, strange. You did say that only about half the party attenders hid their liquor. I like small parties, myself, next year I would invite the ones who shared. It sounds mean, but you went to so much trouble and expense to throw a party and it seems some did not really appreciate it.

Yeah.. I find this strange too

Did you offer to take their alcohol and place it at the bar?
Or direct them to the bar when you noticed they had alcohol?

It seems clear that you asked for alcohol for the bar, and bars at parties are for everyone

And we all learned in kindergarten that we shouldn't bring something unless we have enough to share with everyone

I hate to say it.. but if you were clear... it might be time to get some less selfish friends

Neither my husband or I drink when we go out.... and we still bring alcohol when it is byob

We even try to get the good stuff

We consider it a gift to the host for all of their hardwork... with the hope that they will use it to build their bar

But I guess it could of been worse

I had a friend who hosted a party, it was BYOB but she ended up providing most of the alcohol thinking she will just use it later

At the end of the night people started to take the semi full and full bottles thinking that they were up for grabs

Originally Posted by propmistress

yeah.. I find this strange too

did you offer to take their alcohol and place it at the bar?
Or direct them to the bar when you noticed they had alcohol? - i directed them, the bar is downstairs (same as usual) and i'm 7 1/2 months pregnant, so going up and down stairs that much became unappealing

it seems clear that you asked for alcohol for the bar, and bars at parties are for everyone. And we all learned in kindergarten that we shouldn't bring something unless we have enough to share with everyone

i hate to say it.. But if you were clear... It might be time to get some less selfish friends - this is the weirdest part! Everyone is usually soooo nice, and they were all happy about the party, raving about how much work i did, how great all the food was, etc... I was surprised people took their booze with or didnt share.

neither my husband or i drink when we go out.... And we still bring alcohol when it is byob we even try to get the good stuff. We consider it a gift to the host for all of their hardwork... With the hope that they will use it to build their bar - this is exactly how i feel! It's good to hear i wasn't totally off base in my assumptions
but i guess it could of been worse

i had a friend who hosted a party, it was byob but she ended up providing most of the alcohol thinking she will just use it later. At the end of the night people started to take the semi full and full bottles thinking that they were up for grabs - this might have happened too - one friend said she left a bottle that wasn't there at the end...it could have gotten drank, but i wasn't policing the recycling, so who knows

live and learn! Will be trying something new next year for sure!

edited to fix formatting - my comments in caps

We had a ton of beer and wine left over and I don't know what to do with it! We had some spirits out, but not a full bar. We should have had more mixers available. Lots of people brought beer and wine to share...no one took theirs or hid it for themselves. We're a group of late 20's to mid 40's.

Very bad form to pilfer the bar on the way out. Apparently you needed to lock everything down, like bank pens! I think your next party needs to be manners instruction.

That sucks. We didn't do a party this year, but in the past we've stocked stuff for a couple of types of mixed drinks, basic beer like Bud Light and made spiced wine -- anybody wanting anything different we told them to bring their own. If they want to share, great, let us know. If not (which was very few) then they were on their own.

This year I had over 100 guests and I do a BYOB and I provide a lot as well. The basic rule though is drink what you bring and help yourself to the free stuff.