The"It's my Halloween Party and I'll Cry If I Want To" thread

[creepyhomemaker]

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I am so happy for those of you that had a great year, but sadly, I am not one of them. I think my guests had no idea anything was wrong...but I know. Where to begin?

First I had a bit of family drama that left a huge impact on the rest of the night. My mother is the queen of Halloween for me. She is the reason I love it, period. She made it what it was when I was a kid. She is always at my party and prepares for it and helps me shop for it the entire year. She and my father had an ugly divorce several years back and haven't gotten over it (he cheated) My dad doesn't like Halloween and to make a long story short, he showed up uninvited with the woman he cheated on my mom with. My mom assumes I invited them, gets mad at me and leaves. I was devistated, without her it is not Halloween.

So now I am worried about her, having to make nice with everyone and get ready to open my haunt the whole time I wanted to cry and run everyone off.

The next thing that upset me was the guests. I wasn't lacking guests but they have all changed. My son graduated high school this year and my daughter the year before. I used to have a hundred screaming teenagers now I have 50 college students who are way too serious for their age and tired from mid-terms. I have had this haunt since they were in the prime age of junior high, it just isn't the same now. Alot of my kids friends joined the military and couldn't be there this year. For some reason it was the ones who loved Halloween the most.

As far as the other older people invited, some had legit reasons for not attending, surgery etc. But some lied. They said they were coming the day before the party and then didn't show. One said she had to work but then put where she had actually went as her facebook status. People are stupid.

The people who love Halloween the most and are fun wanted to be IN the haunt and some of the others don't like to be scared.

I still had a good turnout because a bunch a people came who I didn't expect but overall it was torture for me.

I don't want to have a party next year, however there was something that made me happy from this year. My daughter and her new (8 months) boyfriend wanted to help in the haunt and they LOVED it. She has never helped before and had no idea what it was like. She was soooo happy and her boyfriend has started making plans for next year. They were great at it too. They have a wonderful relationship and I definately see them being together next year. Also his family came to the party and had a great time. So now I don't know whether to take a year off next year or to give it another try.

I also had a new "actor" this year and he was also very good at it and is already looking forward to next year. There are a couple of actors that I have that are just not good it and sometimes can actually kill the area. I don't have the heart to say anything but I would love to.

Teenagers who insist on shining their cell phones ahead of them the entire time (we know how important the shadows are) drove me crazy.

I have never had an unseccessful party and I maybe nobody else knew I felt that this one was unsuccessful but I was and still am miserable about it. It was just so anti-climactic for ME.

I hope I feel better before the spring of next year when I start working on 2011. Because I finally see the potential for a continuation of a family legacy and it's soooo hard to stop after 10 years.

Anyone have anything to share? Past or present. I could use it.

Here's my daughter in character, she did a wonderful job.

[v_gan]

For some reason, I'm cursed to only have good parties every other year. So I know how you feel Last year, I put so much time and money into my party and I didn't feel like it was appreciated by anyone. No one came or left at the same time, so it was just a slow trickle of people in and out of the house all night. There will always be off-years, no matter how hard you try. Hopefully the Halloween spirit will bring you back next year. And if that doesn't, maybe the thought of passing the torch onto your daughter will

[WitchyRN]

This year, I felt AWEFUL the day of the party.. spent the day nauseated with a HUGE headache... while trying to prep.. felt like calling the whole party off... drank gingerale all night, but the party was still a success... then I felt like good just when all my guests were leaving..
One year we had FANTASTIC weather and put ALOT of work into a scavenger hunt.. we only had 5 people show up... it was SUCH a bummer.. I've had good and bad years too... the bad ones make us appreciate the good ones that much more, I suppose.. keep the spirit alive hon- it'll be better next year!!!!

[lynrapp]

Some years are good and some years are bad. My husband and I moved into this neighborhood 7 years and have had a huge Halloween party every year. Our haunts are not as good as your's look! (I loved the picture with your daughter.) Ours are a lot more mild because our kids are younger. But we go all out! Year before last we built a 28 foot ghost that covered our front door. You had to walk through the belly of the ghost to get into the house. Inside the belly were all kinds of things that we thought might be inside a ghost's belly - bubbles, intestinal windy noises, dismembered hands. The kids loved it!

This year one of our neighbors (and new friend) asked us to move our party because she was planning on having her first halloween party the same night. That did not happen!

The kids got so wild at last year's party and the parents did not pay enough attention that our play room was wrecked - lamps broken, toys broken, etc.. It was out of hand and dispiriting.

A lot of times the people closest to us blow our party off, even though they know how much work we put into it.

What about the weather? How many times has bad weather wrecked or ruined some of our outdoor creations?

Many times I have thought about not putting us through the craziness of all this. But my husband put it in perspective for me. We put this party on with all the crazy ideas and fun games and new decorations that we make because we love the holiday and we want to pass this love and ingenuity onto our daughter. She doesn't really like to help us yet, but she would really miss all of it.

You love Halloween because your mother made it for you. It's becoming a family tradition for you. Your mother will soon realize that she made a mistake, and you and she will make up. And Halloween 2011 will be a three generation project for you - you, your mother and daughter. What better legacy can you leave your children? I can only hope that that will be my legacy as well!

Good luck!

[CMK4425]

This is a common problem. I think that part of the issue for me is the amount of time, effort, sleepless nights that I put into my party. I never really feel that the work is ever fully appreciated. I have just finally told myself that as long as people show up and have a good time it is a good party. I really enjoy getting creative and building things so that is why I do it. A friend of mine showed up with her new boyfriend and he was blown away by my setup so his comments made my night. Also his mom used to do a party every year and quit but kept all of her decorations. He told me that she wants to give them away and I need to go by there.

[Jackielantern]

You don't have to decide anything now. Give it some time, see how you feel in the spring.

Man, I'm sorry about the family drama. That's rough. Don't take it personal in regards to your mom. She probably became overwhelmed and took it out on you. (not that it's right).

Even if you don't have one next year doesn't mean you are out of the game forever. Over the past 15 years we have taken 3 off. Nooo way I was going to deal with 50-80 drunk people when I was 5 mo pregnant! lol It actually makes people appreciate them more once the miss a year!

Sending you a hug ~~

[tetedefromage]

I feel you. I've put so much work and money into doing a party this year, and nobody has even bothered to RSVP. I mean, I know our friends here don't get into halloween as much as we do, I sure wouldn't expect any of them to dress up even, but come on. At least give me an answer one way or the other. This party just wasn't supposed to happen...there's all this crap suddenly going on at work where my husband and most of our friends are working 12 hour shifts and 6 days a week, so we ended up having to move our party day to Halloween, which I didn't want to do because it's a Sunday and everyone will have to get up really early for work the next day. But it was the only option, other than canceling. So, I don't know if anyone is actually going to show up or not on Halloween! One of these years we'll have some local friends that love Halloween as much as we do....

[Lady of Chamberwell Manor]

I can relate also... Last year we had our 6th annual Halloween party & haunt and I really can't name a specific thing that went "wrong"...I mean we had a great turn out with about 70 guests, the haunt got a ton of compliments, the games went well, people stayed and danced until 3 AM, but for SOME reason my hubby and I still felt a huge let down afterwards and swore we were going to take a year off....well, around June, I started sketching a haunt, and my husband started getting into it again too, and this past weekend we had an AWESOME 7th annual party. I think when you put SO much work into it, you expect SO much out of it and what we finally realized is that no matter HOW much you prepare and do, it can never be more than a party...it's just a party. This past Saturday as we were getting all the last minute things done, we just kept reminding each other that it was "just a party". May sound corny, but we were able to relax & enjoy it so much more. I'm SO glad we decided to give it another try after feeling so lousy about it last year. Like Jackielantern said, just give it some time. Next year can be great!

[yummum29]

I agree with a lot of the above comments. It really really sucks you had such a crappy time of it. But you have a year to decide what you want to do. Let everything settle for a bit. It also gives your son time to "grow" into college. Look how your daughter came around with your festivities, your son may too. You will also be used to the unfamiliar life you have right now. You have had a lot of changes in the last little while. Your parents, and kids, college, etc. For the record, that picture is fantastic, and you did a fabulous job! Hope things are better with your mom, if they aren't , they will be soon

[propmistress]

awwwww..... I am so sorry that you didn't enjoy your party..... especially since it is obvious you worked really hard (your haunt loooks amazing!)

I also hope that your mom is feeling better....... I am sure that was difficult for her... although it is unfortunate that she blamed you

Next year, I would talk to both of your parents before hand and determine when each parent will be allowed to attend the party so there is no further drama

As for your kids..... don't worry..... enjoy who they are now because thing will change again..... soon your children and their friends will bring their spouses and their children to this party and you will get to watch a whole new generation grow up and enjoy your party

My friend's family has been throwing a Christmas party for over 20 years... and now that we are all in our 30's and preoccupied with our own lives... this is often the only time we get to see our old friends and their families.

Don't give up on a great family tradition.....

Next year is a great opportunity for you to pass off more responsibility to your daughter and her boyfriend..... To connect with your children as adults