Thread: To party or not to party, that is the question...

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My beloved neighbors and first time co-hosts of this year's annual party have just fallen on hard times (and i do mean very hard times.) As I look around my home with a half built vampire pavillion and random halloween decor scattered about, I ask myself what to do. Do I have this party or not? They might not be able to keep their home, much less put grocieries on the table for their family. They informed me that they would help with what they could (building of props) but they would not come to the party because they would not be able to afford any costumes and babysitting and (my guess) not be in the party spirit. Their names are on the save-the-date. They are aware that I spend a good amount of money on new decor and then the party itself. How can I throw this party in good faith without them there?

I ask this question here because, like me, most of you are already planning the next halloween on November 1st. I have the perfect party planned this year...put in a good deal of money already...and what really bothers me, because i choose a different theme every year, people have already purchased or made theme related costumes and bought plane tickets for the party. My heart says don't have this party, use the money you would put towards the remaining season and buy their groceries for the next month. But what do I say to the other invites without flat out telling them the situation....most of them don't know this family well. Do i have a small gathering of those that have already planned to fly or drive in/close neighbors and friends...or is that still a party?
any thoughts are appreciated.

I say talk to you neighbors about it if you feel this strongly. Just tell them straight up what you told us. Plus, if you already have people flying in, you should probably do something for them.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friends falling on hard times. We are in a very similiar situation, and my heart goes out to them. Your concern for them and sensitivity to their needs tells me you are a very good friend.

It sounds like you have quite a bit already invested, and as you said, people have bought plane tickets already, etc. Personally, I would NOT cancel the party, but if other people (you said the others weren't close to the family), ask about them, maybe simply say, 'Times are kinda rough for them right now', and leave it at that. Believe me, I haven't met ANYONE who doesn't understand that.

As far as buying them food, that's tricky. You want to help, but don't want to make them feel like they're accepting handouts. Maybe you can help them in other ways: About the costumes, can they show up without them? Would you be willing to pay for the babysitter?

I was debating myself as to whether or not to have a party this year, knowing we will probably be losing both our properties - our rental AND our own home. There have been times when I had to collect cans so I can buy gas & food. Some weeks are good, some not so much. But the family really wants, and needs, a good time right now, so we're just scaling down, doing it Pot Luck style, skipping the fancy props, etc.

I hope your friends can keep strong, and they try to just be grateful that (I hope) everyone is healthy. That's the most important thing of all. My thoughts are with them.

thank you both for your input. i did talk to them and we will be having the party. i will help them with their costumes and babysitter - thanks for the suggestions. happy haunting and thanks again!