Thread: The Human Element

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Having just posted in the planning thread, it got me thinking about something that might make for some interesting discussion. All food, props, SFX etc. aside, what about the human element of you parties? The people? What makes or breaks it?

Now I am not suggesting we list names of the fun people, who got too trashed (I did that one year), who doesn't get along etc. But what kinds of people make for a great H party and how do you reel them in?

As many know I have been doing parties for many, many years (18th this year). They started as social group from our church (no, we are not Southern Baptists). Back in the early 90s, we would host a dinner at someones house each month, and our turn was Oct, so how about a Halloween party? So it grew from there.

The church group was about 12-18 pretty fun people, but it started to fade a bit, so we gambled and started inviting neighborhood friends (the church monthly thing had pretty much dissolved anyway). For the most part it worked out as least as good, and grew a bit each year.

In '04 we moved 45 mins away to a much larger house that can host 60-90 people easily. Lots of big, open space. But we were in a new town, new church, etc. We had a party that year, real minimal effort, had about 16 people it was kind of fun.

In the years since, the parties have grown rapidly. We have made many new friends in those years.

BuT one year ('07) we had 40+ people and all I remember from that party is sitting around talking and people leaving before midnight. The '06 party was really good... but last year kicked ass. Why?

I have been asking myself a lot since last Oct. And I know it was the people. Many of the same, but some new ones as well, and a more even balance of church, town and work. In fact almost 1/3 each by count. That and for some reason, people came last year PUMPED for a good party. In the days before they were saying they couldn't wait for Sat, had worked on their costumes for a long time. In the tame part of our party (before the blackout) people were bugging me "come on, lets GO! Kick it off dude".

The last people left about 1:30 am

So this year of course, I know I have 50 or so people who have memories of a real good party, and when they get that invite this year, they will go 'Oh man, I won't miss this!".

So that is my take. As much effort should be taken to cultivate your friends and try to "snowball" your parties year after year. when I get invited to someones house that I had a good time at last, I want to go. Conversely, when some of my wife's boring friends (I don't have any of those ;-)) invite us, I usually stammer and say I have stuff to do.

I'd be interested to hear what others do, how they handle the invite list, how they pick and choose, mix social circle, etc. Or maybe no one does, they just want the same close group each year and that works. I am always sensitive to the one person who might come from work and know nobody... that is why a balance is important.

That, and I know who within our friends will have fun at any party, any place, no matter who they know.....

<off rant>

This is the part I am nervous about... It's going to take some skill getting a group of people together who have mostly never met one another, and are from different age groups. My boyfriend and I don't exactly know too many people and we ourselves have a thirty year age gap between us so he has a few friends who are almost of retirement age and my friends are generally in their mid twenties. There are a few people that I really want to invite, but because of conflict with other guests, I am being forced to choose. Not happy about that, but I'm trying to be respectful of sore spots. This is my first party and I'm trying to get the guest list as harmonious as possible.

Well I didn't want to suggest that we have the mixing down to some kind of "science" or anything, in fact I'd really say that it is most accidental that things worked out so well last year.

I remember that in '07, some of the groups never really mingled, and we had some European guests from our work (my wife an I work for the same company) who were just kind of dumbfounded by the whole spectacle.

And as I said, I think last year was as much people's attitudes as the people themselves. I can only to hope to repeat it again this year.

We will prune out invite list a bit last year, a bunch of people from our own town who never made the trip up since we moved, and some people who have just plain never came. And we're adding a few more from our work, so we'll how the mix works out.

I'd be interested to hear others experience "mixing" social circles. Has it worked out, or do some get isolated if they are the minority? Do you have party "groupies" (we do) who you know will show up no matter what.

I definitely have some "party groupies" who never miss & start working on their costumes very early (some now). This same group stays the longest & pretty much makes the party. Every year I weed out people who didn't seem to enjoy themselves or didn't stay long. We always have "new" friends we invite who love it & thus the number of partygoers seems to increase. I used to think the more the merrier, and I definitely still want a big crowd because we work so hard on it & want people to come see our work. In saying that, though, one of my funnest parties was my first one and we only had 10 guests. Our decorations were minimal but we had a blast!! Regardless of how many people we have had, it never usually ends till 2 or 3 am. I rely on my "groupies" to keep it going on and leading the way on the dance floor. I agree you need to get the buzz going early so I am sending out my "save the date magnets" this week so I can get everyone thinking about it. My guest list isn't any longer than last years but I believe the ones I weeded out & the ones I added will be a wise decision & lead to a very successful party!