Thread: Crashers... How To Deal With

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This is our 2nd annual Halloween party coming up this weekend. The first year we had 3 crashers... people who came with someone we invited, even though we told everyone they could bring only 1 guest due to space issues.

How do you deal with crashers when they want to participate in games for prizes and such? I give parties to do something nice for my friends and their significant other, not a bunch of people I don't know.

I don't want to give a nice "Best Costume" prize for a crasher, even if they might have the best costume. I don't want to give treats for "Tempt Your Fate" to people I don't know... that's money/time/effort/joy that should be spent on people I have relationships with.

Is it "tacky" to announce that the contests and games are open only to invitees and their guest (note the singular) and crashers, while welcome at the party, are ineligible?

We have this issue.

Last year, a young lady we're all aquainted with just dropped in, no costume, and began visiting and eating like she belonged, while making noise that she never got an invite.

When she saw the amount of work we put into the food and decor, and the amount of effort guests put into their costumes, she quickly quieted down. Once it was explained to her that we can't have everyone we know attend for space reasons, not to mention financial, she expressed complete understanding and was rather apologetic.

This year, she was sent an invite,... and the rest of her family showed up. She's in her twenties, but still lives with her mom and dad.
Mom and Dad waltzed in,... no costumes... and made themselves quite at home. We know them, but they weren't invited.

Honestly, we don't want to say "only the invited get to participate in activities and receive prizes" or "only the invited get food" or what have you. It should go without saying who these things are intended for.
We don't want to make a scene, make anyone who wanted to come feel uncomfortable, or ask anyone to leave. The ugliness isn't worth it.
The best we can do, year after year, is make sure people understand it's invite only, send out physical invites and hope people respect what we're doing.

We don't have a solution that makes anyone comfortable.

I was going to suggest denying them entry into your house but that seems a bit mean. I'm sure someone can come up with a friendlier solution. But I still stand by my method.

our annual party is sat the 24th........i don't care about crashers....even though we have limited space also...as long as they bring their own ..BOOZE! lol

Or heres an idea....
Find the crashers addresses and the next night, show up at their house around dinner time and sit down and expect to be fed.

I think you're right about the "ugliness" and maybe I'm just being petty; but, I so want to see my friends get some of the cool prizes we have and not complete strangers. We'll probably just write this year off, let everyone play, and be more explicit next year that, due to space issues, we can only allow an invitee to bring 1 guest. We will also make it a "Costume Mandatory" party, unlike this year and last; we are expecting 80 people and that's a stressful amount of people to have in a house, even though we live in the country and the house can accommodate it.

Should be a blast, though. Thanks for all your replies!

Don, I LOVE your idea!! LOL! Great stuff...

It's a dilemma, as nobody wants to be percieved as lacking in hospitality.

Your invited guests are at fault.

If the invitation is extended to "Mr Jones + guest" singular, it is extremely bad manners of Mr Jones to arrive with guests plural, unless he has called and sought your permission to bring an extra guest or two (he may, for instance have relatives staying with him over the period of the invitation). If his request is refused, he should have the good manners to politely decline your invitation "with regret".

To arrive with uninvited guests is disrespectful and can put you, the host, in a very awkward position.

Of course, correct form dictates that as host, you must extend your grace and hospitality on the evening to all your present company to the best of your ability, difficult as this may be.

Originally Posted by tgoodman

This is our 2nd annual Halloween party coming up this weekend. The first year we had 3 crashers... people who came with someone we invited, even though we told everyone they could bring only 1 guest due to space issues.

How do you deal with crashers when they want to participate in games for prizes and such? I give parties to do something nice for my friends and their significant other, not a bunch of people I don't know.

I don't want to give a nice "Best Costume" prize for a crasher, even if they might have the best costume. I don't want to give treats for "Tempt Your Fate" to people I don't know... that's money/time/effort/joy that should be spent on people I have relationships with.

Is it "tacky" to announce that the contests and games are open only to invitees and their guest (note the singular) and crashers, while welcome at the party, are ineligible?

I would let them participate but I would not let them win or explain to the people who brought them that their guests cannot participate in the game and let them explain it to their friends. There's no reason to say anything to the crashers. Then I would speak to the guests later on, who brought the crashers, and explain to them what you said here. You have space limitations and if they want to bring a guest that's fine. If they need to bring more than 1 guest you are going to NEED a phone call. Then you can say no.

Whatever happened to manners? I would never be so brazen as to just bring along whoever I wanted to someone else's party.

I think I'd go with Don's idea lol

I guess I'm lucky not to have experienced that problem in all the years of throwing parties.
I have had people ask if they could bring someone and that's usually not a problem.
This year I've had people call up or email and invite themselves haha American's of course
But also being an american, I had no problem saying be sure to bring your own bottle haha and Guess the invitation was lost in the mail, I"ll send another! Cause honestly, if I had known they were interested, I would have sent an invite. A halloween party needs americans at it!

MsM