In this case, the preoccupation is with her own [idea / belief] and insistant application of that [idea / belief] with total disregard for all others impacted.

I'm sure she thinks she is being the best of all parents by bringing her kids. She probably thinks others will learn from her grandiose example and will fall in line with her views for future parties. Could be her kids will never learn to be independent and will turn out even more narcissistic than she is.

__________________
Our 2008 Haunt Album is up here on HF - hope you enjoy:

http://www.halloweenforum.com/album.php?albumid=780

In my limited experience, the ones who have been the worst about this kind of thing have been men! It's only 2:1 -- one woman and two men that had this attitude. A roommate of mine dated a guy who insisted that she ride in the back seat b/c his 5-year-old son wanted to ride in the front.

__________________

My photo albums - Halloween, crafts, etc.

The only reason I was gender specific was because I was addressing the "Sister" situation. Certainly her husband is either a willing or apathetic accomplish. Narcissism is definitely not a gender specific trait.

__________________
Our 2008 Haunt Album is up here on HF - hope you enjoy:

http://www.halloweenforum.com/album.php?albumid=780

So very, very true.

I think there are far more people out there with NPD than are actually diagnosed. :P

__________________
Aelwyn's Hallowe'en
Hedgewitch Hollow
Wings and Faery Things
Makeup Ever After

NPD effects a majority of men, but does occur in women---often women with children who utilize the children as a means of bringing attention to themselves.

Interesting, no? Just google it. Lots of info out there.

__________________
Aelwyn's Hallowe'en
Hedgewitch Hollow
Wings and Faery Things
Makeup Ever After

In many ways my mother is much like the narcissistic Marie on Everybody Loves Raymond. But she was never one to drag me around with her. In that regard, she backlashed from her parents and I became very independent.

My Point is that NPD can manifest to different degrees in people and show in different ways. Plenty of NPDs do not have the "the-kids-gotta-come-along" syndrome. But when they get there without the kids, they do want as much attention as they can garner.

__________________
Our 2008 Haunt Album is up here on HF - hope you enjoy:

http://www.halloweenforum.com/album.php?albumid=780

I have two young children who will be upstairs with the babysitter during my party. In our case if they want to bring the kids they can chip in to pay our babysitter extra to watch theirs. No kids at the party.

In your case I think saying "not kid friendly" is leaving it up to the parents. Tell them that it's an adult only party and they'll have to leave the kids at home.

I agree so far with what everyone has said. If you specifically said it was an adult-only party, he is automatically discounting your wishes. I would politely tell him that it is an adult party, and that a babysitter would be a great option if they would like to attend. Otherwise, as it is not a PG 13 environment, you will not be allowing kids in.

Besides, if this guy really cares about his kids, wouldn't he keep them from such things?! If you were all dressing up as Care Bears or Tele Tubbies, I could understand, but it sounds like it's going to get delightfully evil.

Thanks for the idea about the bathroom crime scene, by the way! I might just steal! haha


Leigh Clements
The Mystery Maiden
Shot In The Dark Mysteries.com

I agree with the general consensus of the thread. Its your party then you decide whether people should bring their kids. You have a responsiblity as a host or hostess to make sure your guest have a good time and one misbehaving person whether a child or adult can ruin a party.

I also agree with the teenage girl and drunk men do not mix well. As a teenage my mom taught me how to accidently spill grape soda (stains really well on a white uniform) or how to accidently elbow anyone who tried anything I didnt like.

When I was a kid, my parents allowed children at their parties because most of their friends could not really afford baby sitters. (My dad was enlisted in the Navyand my parents usually threw New Years Eve parties). As I got to the age where I babysat I started taking the kids to the movies. Living on base we could take the base bus to and from the movie theater. We usually saw two movies. I just had the parents pay the admisision price and provide a little candy money. My brother who is just a little younger helped keep track of the childern. Usually between 5 and 10 children. This of course would have been alot harder if we had lived out in town since someone would have had to drive us.

On another note, my mother is a firm believer that childern should be taught how to behave at while visiting other people. If we miss behaved we were corrected right away and if necessary we would leave. I remember my mother getting compliments on how well we behaved. I do not have any children of my own but I love children and it makes me sad when they are not taught how to behave and/or are neglected.

__________________
I don't mean to alarm you but your insides look very Halloweeny.

say no to kids..lol thats what i'm saying. No kids allowed . Emphsize ADULT party a million times.