Thread: Guests Rejecting My Theme!

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This year I did something a little different. Instead of having an everything goes costume party, I decided to have a theme. I am having a small dinner party and am calling it Feast of the Dead. I am requiring that my guests come in costumes that are related to the theme of death. And I must say, I think that's pretty broad. Anything related to death. I sent out the invites a few weeks ago. I had a few gripes from some friends, but I maintained that I was going to be strict with the theme and most people were excited. Now, 4 days before my party, my fiance's friend is complaining because he already has a Where's Waldo costume and doesn't want to buy a new one. I told him that I've been strict with others so I have to be strict with him. I said I have face makeup and that we can make him a zombie quick. He is upset about it.

Since I am the only person in our group of friends who consistently has Halloween parties, I don't understand why this guest has a problem. I have even offered him a no-cost solution! I love the idea of themed costume parties. I have a lot in mind for the future (zombie apocalypse, masquerade, malice in wonderland, evil circus, etc). Maybe not have a theme every single year, but at least every once in a while. Do you guys have trouble with guests refusing the theme? I don't want to be a b*%(# about it, but I have been strict with others and this particular guy already has an issue with breaking the rules. I already have another friend coming as a zombie...I think I'm going to set up a zombie attack.

His friend doesn't want to be a dead Where's Waldo?!? You need to send an Unvitation!

I'm really not a fan of themes in general, but that one is SOOOOOO broad, I think it's great (unless somebody just died.) I'm with walkingcorpse - take Waldo and kill him in some kind of creative "Where's Waldo" way and you're done. Come up with a spin on it. Jeez, people!

The one thing I LIKE about themes is that it can force people to put in a wee bit of effort instead of just buying the first costume they see. Halloween is about creativity and I think your theme should encourage that.

My best friend had a Star Wars themed party last year, and there were about 15 Leia's there. Oi! So it doesn't always work.

I say he's being a weenie! You should cut some big blood stains out of red labels and just stick one on his sweater when he comes in.

Sticky situation. I put a ton of thought into my costumes and have them planned out at least a year in advance, so I'd be bummed if someone told me I couldn't wear it due to a themed party (luckily I'm the one who always throws the party to I don't have to worry about this!). But I agree that it forces people to put some effort in, which is sometimes necessary and appreciated. I think as far as costume themes go, you couldn't have picked an easier/more broad theme and people shouldn't have too much of a problem making anything "dead" or "zombie". If you've been strict with other people, I think you should stick to your guns with this one person to avoid offending everyone else. In the future, when I plan on having themed parties, I don't think I'll ask guests to dress the theme, only offer it as a suggestion.

I like themes in general, guess I like things looking organized and planned. However, I know a lot of people spend quite a bit on their costumes and people really do get into picking them out so I can see people getting bummed at being told they needed to stick to your theme. Maybe it goes back to being a kid and your mom insisted on picking out a costume for you, or maybe on the other hand you spent all year dreaming of what character you were going to be for the next year....i think it looks cool when all the people are dressed like zombies for example however. I guess I really don't know what to say about a guest who wants to deviate from the party plan. Suppose there's always one in the bunch.

Let us know how it turns out. If things work out next year, I'd love to try a party. My situation will be more of people not wanting to come in costume--DH's really not into halloween or costumes at all, best friends try to plan things to do so they don't have to be at home for halloween (glad I'm not a kid in their neighborhood), and our next door neighbors and good friends are from India and are slow embracing the whole halloween concept. It could be challenging!

If he doesn't want to be dead Waldo don't make him.
A party is supposed to be a fun gathering of friends having a good time, and he has expressed to you that he woulnt like to be a "dead" then leave it be. He is youre friend and you invited him because you wanted him and you to have a good time at this party, so dont loose a friendship over a silly costume issue.

Not all my friends are even dressed when they come, and I dontmind -ive invited them because I want us all to have fun -but some of my friends dont like dressing up so they would have a crap night if i made them. Instead one girl is jut wearing a headband with batwings, and another is wearing a soccershirt saying she is " the stalker of this soccerplayer" -and to be honest if they had come just in nice clothes i would be happy too, as long as they came because i just invited them to have a good time

Keep youre friend and dont fuss over a persons lack of the same entusiasm you have. And if after they party you still think this one person dressed as waldo ruined the whole thing, then dont invite him next year

I'm not a big fan of themes either, but also, my first thought was a dead Where's Waldo

I always do themes and like people to dress in the theme, how ever for me it is more important that they dress in something.
Let him be what he wants, it is not worth an argument!
Of course if everyone else is in theme and he is not when he shows up like that he might feel out of place and decide to be 'zombified' if he doesn't it will be no problem finding Waldo he will stick out like a live thumb!

Is there a special circumstance? Did he buy his costume before he got your invitation?

I can see both sides, i am a planner and if i go to the trouble of planning something like this and everyone else is staying in theme, and has went to the EXTRA effort to stay in theme, unless he got his costume AFTER your invitation or you invited last minute, i dont see the issue with him being in them. Its almost not fair to those who made the extra effort to STAY in theme. HOWEVER another solution

I would say hey well how about we have a who KILLED Waldo. Let him come in his regular costume, and you guys pick someone and make a game of it, slip off and zombify him and then the entire night have a WHO KILLED WALDO and then give out a cute prize. I can almost guarantee you make him the center of attention he will be ok with it


Have him give out clues as well when people ask, and people are only allowed 2 questions, RUN with it

We change themes every year, but the theme is for my sets and props. About half of our guests dress according to the theme. The rest is whatever they would like to wear. There should not be any pressure on your guests to conform to the theme. Have fun with your guests and don't stress over what they wear.

Eric