Thread: Is your party quiet and respectful?

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I don't know if you've got friends/acquaintances like mine, but they're all just a bunch of binge drinkers who want to stay up til 4 in the morning getting drunk. I'm like, guys we aren't in high school anymore! I want to have a few drinks and not make a ruckus and go to bed by midnight. Sometimes I feel like they just come for the free food and booze and they trash my house and I spend the next day picking up beer bottles all over the place, even thrown in the yard This year I'm having a nice little dinner party with my family and the children and just forget about the rest!

That really sucks, Kallie! I'd have read them the riot act and seriously not consider them friends any more if they trashed my house and yard...

I've never had any serious problems other than the first time we threw a party. One guy got trashed before he even arrived alone, driving himself, and carrying an open bottle of Jack (which he'd been swigging on) and a full unopened bottle of Jager. We spent the party trying to keep him from drinking more (he passed out several times) and sober him up!

If I was not into the "get trashed and pass out" type of party, then I'd just not invite the ones that still consider that fun. Nothing wrong with a bit of social drinking and acting goofy, but you don't get trashed if you're driving, and you don't trash your host's house either.

You could just be getting old and grumpy...

It really depends on what "kind of party" it is. I like something in between. I don't want the cops to show up, but I don't want a boring party either (also I'm the type that'll party until 5AM, but that's because I'm a night owl and hate morning people)! And while I would prefer people get everything into the trash can, I think having bottles left around, etc, is just something you should expect to have to clean up the next day. But it's not cool if they've spilled stuff all over and left trash on the floor! There's a difference between "not cleaning up" and "completely trashing the place" Even when I throw big room parties at hotels during conventions I make sure I clean up so the maids don't have to do much more than they normally would (but the janitors often have more trash than usual to take out... I bring big garbage bags with me).

I think if you serve drinks than you should keep in mind that you may have to let someone pass out (and possibly throw up) on the sofa. I definitely would not let them leave (and in some states there's specific laws that will find you liable for this). I have a friend who throws big parties but does not like letting people stay because he's afraid that the people he doesn't know as well might steal something (or variuous other transgressions) in the middle of the night. I've always thought this was a bad justification for it... if that's how you feel then don't throw the party!

Also it's a lot funnier when Uncle Jethro starts singing the Macarena when everyone's drunk than when he does it at Thanksgiving dinner.

All parties should be respectful... trashing your house is unacceptable... no party should ever be quiet!!!

If people are still partying at 5am then I feel that I've done a good job. But usually everyone helps clean up when they wake up...

Sounds like a bad bunch! My friends do like to party through to the early hours, but we are respectful to neighbours; music level goes down at a certain time, nothing gets trashed! And we do have a balance of drinkers/non drinkers in our circle.
This is the first year the halloween party is at my place, but I know I will have help tidying up before people leave, and maybe even coming back to take down the decorations the next day.

After your experience, I totally understand you wanting a quiet family get-together this year. There's nothing wrong with that!
I think you should find yourself some new friends! For future, people should bring their own drinks(this is ALWAYS the rule we follow, though the host usually has a few extra's in, and some spare juice/fizzy drinks just in case they're needed), and you can even ask them to bring some snacks, as long as you provide some too

If I were in your shoes, a letter would've went out the very next day to anyone who was that disrespectful in my home. There's a fine line between getting drunk and being completely facocked. I like when everyone is drinking and having a good time, but if anyone starts trashing the place and being rude....oh hell no. That doesn't fly with me. I don't blame you for wanting to keep it low key this year. If any of your friends asks how come you're not having the party, girl tell em the truth....YA'LL TRASHED MY HOUSE! lol

We've never had that kind of problem. I know my friends and family quite well by now, and if someone has a reputation for drinking too heavily, they're not invited, simple solution. Our parties normally wind down around midnight. It's more about the atmosphere with special effects, decorations, a few games, playing pool, and seasonal food and drink. I have just as much fun setting up all the cool stuff along with the party itself. We always serve beer, wine, and mixed drinks are available, but half of the people don't drink at all. The bigger issue is not running out of diet soda. But bring on the pumpkin ale!

Well, I don't really have parties often. The one I'm specifically talking about is my Dia De Los Muertos costume birthday party back in May. Some people were so trashed and it was like 2 in the morn and they just kept drinking and I was so tired and finally I just went to bed and left them downstairs alone. The next day I found beer bottles thrown in the back yard. I wanted it to be a nice birthday hangout, but everyone was just getting really drunk and sloppy and loud. Don't get me wrong, I got pretty toasty too, but it was my house and my party. AND my sister and I were the only ones in costume! Buncha losers. I'm not inviting any of them over again for any reason. They aren't good friends to begin with!

Ok, sorry, I guess I needed to vent

I agree with Paul. I have one friend in particular who I suspect is actually an alcoholic. He turned up at my housewaming party already drunk, proceeded to drink an entire bottle of vodka NEAT to himself, and insulted one of my friends. He got a call at 8am the next morning telling him he was never getting in my house again, and that I didn't accept people being THAT drunk and certainly not insulting one of my very best friends. If anyone crosses "the line" at my house, they don't get invited back. I don't mind HOW drunk someone is as long as they can hold their booze. If they throw up, they'll be staying until THEY have cleaned it, that's not my job. If they insult or disrespect any of my other guests, they'll be getting put out of the house and not invited back. If they start doing anything stupid and dangerous, like messing around with lit candles, they're put out and not invited back. I also have a rule that no-one goes near my animals (I have 2 guinea pigs and 2 chinchillas) when they're drunk or even when they're sober without my permission. I have a couple of friends who like to hold my guinea pigs LOL but they are very gentle and don't do it when they've had too much to drink. If anyone was to hurt or scare my animals, that would be unforgivable to me and they wouldn't be getting invited back. I would involve the police if necessary. You're not carrying my guinea pigs around when you're blind drunk, if you drop them and hurt them I will hurt YOU.

People don't get away with stupidity at my house. The way I see it, it's MY house, I pay the rent, you play by my rules or you don't get in. I'm pretty tolerant but certain things are "over the line" to me and THAT I will not tolerate.

Originally Posted by kallie

Well, I don't really have parties often. The one I'm specifically talking about is my Dia De Los Muertos costume birthday party back in May. Some people were so trashed and it was like 2 in the morn and they just kept drinking and I was so tired and finally I just went to bed and left them downstairs alone. The next day I found beer bottles thrown in the back yard. I wanted it to be a nice birthday hangout, but everyone was just getting really drunk and sloppy and loud. Don't get me wrong, I got pretty toasty too, but it was my house and my party. AND my sister and I were the only ones in costume! Buncha losers. I'm not inviting any of them over again for any reason. They aren't good friends to begin with!

That is terrible, and it sounds to me like you have the right idea choosing to exclude those bozos from the next party. During school, my mother and I used to hold Halloween parties (with a little haunted house in the basement). By the time that I was in 10th grade, I think it was, quite a few of the people began acting like fools and one 'friend' even brought an uninvited guest who truly seemed to go out of his way to wreck the party, so that was the final year; I normally have a lot of patience, but I won't put up with being disrespected. Now, as an adult, if I were to again hold a party sometime, I'd likely physically throw people out if they began acting like buffoons.

I refuse to be around drunks (lots of bad memories, for one thing). I give people only so many chances to get their sh*t in order, and, if they aren't willing to make an effort, they are gone. I give you credit for realizing that those were not friends and choosing to cut those losers out, kallie.