Thread: What can you do about friends who don't pay their share?

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I have some good friends from high school ( we went to a catholic all girl boarding school ) for quite a while we have done a 'girls weekend' in Chicago. There are four of us who go, One is like me and will always buy a round, or pick up the cab, get the pizza 'whatever' One will do that but really can't as much because she is a single Mother 'understandable', but the third one has a good job and a working husband, but never opens her wallet.

This weekend the first one got sick and was not able to make it.

The one who doesn't pay, brings up 'lets get a pizza' by this time the single Mother has already said she was out of money, fine we can help her, pizza showes I end up paying. Next day for breakfast before the Parade I said we need to get a little something at least toast, the single Mother asks me 'can you buy me toast?' Of couse I can. we walk to the restaurant each order toast, I gave Kate a $20 for the toast and went outside to wait because of the heat, Di orders after us and get a real breakfast, of course it came out of my $20.

I ordered theater tickets for the weekend got a good deal they were only $15, Hotel was $180 per person, and I always buy the alcohol, bottled water, soda, snacks etc. and the girls throw in extra when they pay me for the hotel (of course it is held on my credit card).

Well with the one girl not makeing it we have to split up her share, single Mom only brought cash and will write me a check later this week, Di writes me a check, her portion not counting the stuff I bought and brought ( which was about $75 total) should be $255, she writes the check for $220. What the Hell???

Sounds like because you are always willing to buy a round and pick up the cab fare, that the other takes advantage of that. Try not to be so nice

The dutch system for traveling together is to have a pot that everything's paid out of. Everyone contributes x amount of money in the pot before the trip. If there's anything left in the pot at the end of the trip, its divided. If the pot runs short, then everyone contributes again.

When we travel with our friends....hubby picks up one tab, then the friend....then hubby....etc. They save the receipts and add them up at the end of the trip. Most of the time it comes out pretty even but if not, then they even it out.

MsM

There's nothing wrong with asking the non-contributing friend why she never offers to kick in money. I wouldn't do it in an accusatory way, but a "Hey, Di, I hate to bring this up, but friend one and I typically spring for a round of drinks and the like and it's kind of obvious that you never do. It makes us feel bad and a bit taken advantage of."

Or you could point out that you paid for her full breakfast and she's never reciprocated on any of your trips. Just point out that friend Kate is having to watch every dime and you don't mind ponying up a few bucks, but as far as you know Di is doing okay and it hurt your feelings that she assumed it was okay to take your money like that.

If you're all close friends, it shouldn't be something that you let fester without saying something. Either she'll feel like a heel and apologize and start doing the occasional round or something, or else she'll get pissy and you'll know that she was doing it on purpose taking advantage... and you'll know to maybe not invite her on any more girls' trips.

Thanks for your feed back guys.

I do realize that it is something I need to address or I could end up unnecessary bad feeling toward a friend I have had for over 25 years.

It must be bothering you to bring it up in this Forum. I say, deal with it. There are cheapskates everywhere, and, personally, I don't like being taken advantage of. I'm already generous to a fault, but I still resent being gouged. And people won't change unless they are informed of a character flaw.

I'd talk to her about how you feel or stop inviting her along. When I used to smoke cigarettes, we'd call those type of people moochers and try to avoid them. As far as writing you a check, she did write a big check, just not big enough.
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