Thread: Last Halloween For Me

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Sadly, I didn't get to post as much as I wanted to last year. My Halloween was a bit marred by certain events that I wrote below:


I was 7 months pregnant when doctors determined I had severe preclampsia and an induced labor would be the only safe guarantee for my baby and myself.

To say I was taken a bit off guard would be an understatement. I had yet to take any of the labor classes, I didn't have my hospital bag with me and my birth plan was about to be all shot to hell. It seems like God picked the biggest control freak He could find and then proceeeded to undermine every single thing. My labor was induced around 4:30 pm on 10/23 and at the time I didn't realize exactly how much God knew what He was doing.....

Nearly 30 hours later, at 8:47 pm, I was finally ready to deliver my baby. At 9:12 pm, little Charleigh Cadeau came into the world and I had no idea how overwhelmed with love I would be for her. Cadeau is French for "gift" and I would have no idea how much she would bless my life. My mom was going to stay in my room with me that night but we received a phone call at 1:30 am. My father was being taken by ambulance to Washington Hospital because a tumor had ruptured and was causing his corroded artery to bleed very badly. He had terminal tonsil and throat cancer believed to be from exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam.

To say my heart was heavy would be an epic understatement. I just experienced the joy of being a mother and now my father was gravely ill. At the hospital he was given two options: elect to have a surgery done with a 99% chance of stroke/paralysis/death or let nature take its course. We were given a week at best for him to live. Rather than cause anymore undue suffering, my father elected to be moved to the Donnell House, which is a hospice home, in order to live out his last few days.

Surprisingly, there was much joy to be had in his last few days. He proudly told me on the phone while I was in the hospital that "I told you I was going to hang on for that little grandbaby." I never doubted that my dad would. He was so incredibly proud of her and I. He showed every nurse and doctor her picture and kept it right beside his bed. On Sunday, I got to see glimpses of the father I used to know. He was cracking jokes, walking around and doing wheelies in his wheelchair. My whole family gathered together and we all made the most of the time we had with him.

Doctors discovered that little Charleigh had some sort of digestive problem and on Sunday they needed to take her into surgery. I was wrecked with guilt in all sorts of ways. My fiancee told me to go be with my dad and he would stay there while she had the surgery. They discovered she had a small twist in her colon that needed removed. My dad told me he was going to give her every last ounce of his strength before he passed, and I know he did. She's so strong and feisty and she acts like him in so many ways it often can take my breath away.

We stopped at the hospice on Monday to see dad before we headed back to Children's. Dad's pastor was getting on the elevator as my fiancee and I were getting on. He warned me that dad was doing worse today. Dad kept coming in and out of consciousness but he was happy to see my fiancee and I. I had no idea that it would be the last time I would get to say I love him.

My mother called at 8:30 Tuesday morning to let me know he was passing then. Charlie and I flew to be there, but he was already gone. I was absolute distraught with grief. He looked so incredibly peaceful and it was just like he was sleeping. My mom said he had no pain, it happened very quickly and he was at peace and ready for it.

He passed on 10/28. His viewing was on Halloween. In some ways, I knew he would have been happy. He was the one who got me into Halloween and horror to begin with. In another way, it was the most depressing Halloween ever. My baby was in the NICU (ended up being for 3 months) and my father had passed.

I am hoping this year goes better.

Wow, talk about having emotions on sch extreme ends of the spectrum. My condolences on your Dad, but congrats on your baby! I think your little girl is a fighter and really wants to be here. :-) Sounds like God gave you this blessing to distract and focus your heart during such an emotionally difficult time. Here's to a better Halloween for you in 2009! :-D

This is one of the most bittersweet stories I've ever heard. Bless you! I know it's hard losing your father especially during such a joyous time, but rest easy knowing his suffering is over and he gave his grandbaby every ounce of love he could while he was still alive and now he's in a better place to be her guardian. Since your father got you into Halloween, that would be a good day to really go all out and use it to honor him.

I lost my grandmother just over a year ago and we were as close as two people can be. We even shared the same birthday. I hope you have been able to find some peace over the past year and hopefully you (and your daughter) will continue to find the joy in Halloween that your dad started for you so many years ago.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
Glad to hear that your "little gift" is doing much better. But, I would suggest that you honor your Father & his love for Halloween. Doing so would bring comfort to the both of you & all the cherished memories of the past.

I am moved so by your story, I am so sorry for the loss of your father. at the same time I am glad your little one is doing better, I am glad your dad knew she was here. I believe in my heart that your dad would like it if you continued with your halloween celebrations, and taught your little one what he taught you, remembering the good times, and the love.Blessings to you and your family

I am deeply sorry for your loss. I lost twin girls from a childhood disease and know the pain that you experienced. I and also happy that your little gift is doing well. What a horrible thing to happen around the best holiday of the year. May this Halloween bring better memories for you.