Thread: i want to be a better member...

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i don't post so much, but i check in everyday. for the past few months i have been going through some shiz. financial struggles, school, being a mommy, being lonely, depression, drinking too much, and the worst of all....a boy broke my heart and a broken heart sure can consume a lot of your time. i want to get over all this materialism and sadness and be lighter and that's why i need you guys. i am ready for halloween 2008!!! wooo!

Kallie girl I am here for you. Im all about the lightness of things LEts take this one step at a time.
Financial struggles - We are all going through it darling. Times are tough you are not alone.
School - Well you need it. Try and finish if you do nothing else finish. Its the only way to help you out of your financial struggles and to make a better life for you and the lil one.
Being a mommy - Well honey that does have its ups and downs. All you can do is give that lil one of yours lots of time and love. In the end that is what they want most. I know there are times it feels like I have no idea what I am doing. We all feel like that at times. Try and remember even during the toughest of times that children are a blessing darling and we are very lucky to be so blessed.
Lonely and depressed - Reach out to your friends. Now is not the time to be looking for a boy. Have them over for a pizza and a movie and just talk. Talk about what is depressing you and let them be there for you. Lean on them thats what friends are really for.
Drinking too much - Now see this one here is a toughy. YOU HAVE TO STOP!!! You have to stop for the lil one. She needs you more than you need that drink. And you have to stop for you. Actually you have to stop for you first. If you think you need help doing so then GET HELP! There is no shame in getting help honey. That is what they are there for.
Now for that Bastard that broke your heart - Well clearly he doesnt know a good thing when he sees it girl. That is how you have to look at that. Just be grateful you found out now rather than a few years down the road. Boys are a dime a dozen, now men real men they are hard to find, but they are out there. Dont give up. But I suggest first you get straight with the drinking too much first. You cant make a good decision when that is going on.

Lastly darling we are all here for you. Reach out to us. We have all had at least one of the situations you are dealing with and between the lot of us Im sure we can give you some good advice. This is just my humble opinion. Take from it what you think will help. you will be in my prayers tonight. Going to ask God to lighten up the load on my dear friend Kallie

thank you spook! you are full of enlightenment!

Kallie,

A few years back I had marriage troubles and used my friends at work as a diversion. I would go out drinking with them a couple nights a week. (have some really fun stories from those days). But I was miserable. I took a step back and realized that I needed to surround myself with the kind of people that I wanted to be. I seperated myself from negative people. I started hanging out with happily married couples and things started to improve.

Also, I grew up with a family that focused on the negative, what bad could happen, etc etc. I constantly fight negative thoughts. I find it very helpful to surround myself with positive people. Of course you can't abandon your family but you can ask them not to be so negative around you if that situation applies to you. (Good luck with that one...mine was pretty taken back & a bit defensive on that one)

Not to focus on me, just wanted to explain where I was coming from and let you know you're not alone.

Our situations are different but I guess my point is is take a good look at the people in your life. Are they good for your spirit? Surround yourself with as much positive energy you can and the healing will be much easier for you.

Well put Spooki about the men vs the boys. Kallie, there's a man out there that will treat you right and appreciate you, give it time and it will come. Heal yourself first.

Big, big hugs,
Jackie

Just what Spooki and Jackie said.......Life passes sooooo fast, that you have to make everythig out of it that you can. Drinking too much will fade those memories and regret is something that you can never take back. So, dont waste your time on a NO GOOD Boy, and on drink ! Focus on what really counts and that is your life with your child. And that includes, getting through school. That will enable you to make a BETTER life for you and your child.
When that all gets straighened out ..... then the relationship thing can fall into place.

thanks everyone, for your support!

You've been in some excellent hands on this thread, all I can add is that I love ya!! And congratulations again!

I read through this whole thread & Kallie I really feel for you! You have the best advice here & good & caring friends....when it gets tough & ya feel like its all coming down.....come here where people can try & help. You hang in there kiddo,

Muf

Kallie you are at a tough age. I imagine you are still searching for the real you and trying to find out where you fit in. Being a mother is very much an adult responsibility and yet you are young and single which draws you into a social group with far less responsibility and discipline than motherhood requires. I'm sure it is a confusing time. I see several members have posted some great advice to consider. I would just add that you might want to sit down and decide what you really want out of life...write them and start setting small daily goals that will get you there. Sometimes it might mean that you have to leave some friends behind if they are holding you back. Lynn makes a very good point about the ways in which our environment affects our mood and energy. In the end we all have to find our own way in life, but you have some great resources hear for ideas to help you navigate your path. Good luck! I wish the best for you and your beautiful little girl.

Kallie, I don't have much more to add than what the others have said, they said it well, take care of yourself and your little one first, surround yourself with positive people,. , and rmember we are here for you, if need be, vent like crazy, it helps ! I will keep you in my prayers, hon, and wish blessings on you.