Thread: Invited guest may be upset b/c kids not included

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Marksin: Not a peep since I mailed the pre-invites. I mailed the formal invites over a week ago. I got one RSVP from the pre-invites, LOL, and one from the formal invite. There are only 2 others I haven't heard from in one way or another, but they have a couple of weeks still.

I've decided to go on with the assumption that we've just gone in different directions with our lives. No hard feelings on my end, but I don't have the energy to go begging after people. She actually started disappearing before this whole thing happened. I thought I'd gotten things started again when I sent the email verifying her zip and telling her to watch the mail, but I was wrong.

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Melissa
My Halloween Links Page
My album (updated 9/19/04)

". . . he would have passed a pleasant life of it, in despite of the Devil and all his works, if his path had not been crossed by a being that causes more perplexity to mortal man than ghosts, goblins, and the whole race of witches put together, and that was--a woman." Washington Irving, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

Some friends just kinda slip thru the cracks for one reason or another. Just in a different place, I'd say. I think you handled the verbage with the pre-invite extremely well. Very tactful and friendly. Some people do have different views when it comes to their children.

We have a couple that has older children. Graduated from highschool, living in town, but not 21 yet. They want their kids to come to our party and apparently feel that #1, if they are invited so are their kids (and whoever their kids bring) and #2, it's O.K. for them to be drinking, even tho their not of age. I disagree - at least at my house where guests are my responsibility - and had to quite firmy tell them that if their kids wanted to come, they were welcome, but absolutely no minors will be allowed to drink. period.

HHH

That's it, sisvicki. You can't hold onto every friend, especially when you've grown apart. We worked in the same building for a year and we almost never talked. I made an effort, but you can't MAKE people communicate. I figure if someone doesn't reply after a couple of attempts, they aren't interested in being friends anymore and move on.

Stick to your guns about the older kids. If it's okay for them to drink, then their parents can have a party and let them drink. Your house, your party, your rules! I don't know about responsibility for alcohol, which is why I'm not serving any - even though all my guests are over 21. It's BYOB, but I'm not sure that that releases me from responsibility. Of course I'll keep my eye on people!

As for the kids bringing whomever they want... how do you manage crashers? I'm not worried about it w/ this little group at all, but I had a friend who had a real problem with it. Her parties were so popular that several were affected by crashers (her mood was ruined for sure)... at one held at her home, there were so many uninvited guests brought by other guests that she ran out of food before most of the invited guests got there, and at a couple held at a restaurant, one guy brought so many guests that there was no place for the invited people to sit (he was supposedly uninvited from the next one, but I'm not sure). The last major one she organized, she ordered a bunch of handlettered pins from me with a code word and only people wearing the pin could get inside (it was another one at a restaurant with very limited seating).

harhar66: welcome to the forum! Yes, there are a couple of parties I'd rather sit out, so I know what you're talking about. I don't understand people who can lose their kid for hours at a time... heck, even at church functions, when I was younger, I learned not to ask to hold a baby, b/c I might not be able to leave -- the parents would practically hide! As a guest, I'd be free to leave the room/area if there was an "abandoned" child... I'd probably find the host/hostess and ask for their aid in reuniting parent and child. I have a problem, in that kids tend to attach themselves to me. It's not a problem really, you know what I mean. I can't bring myself to be rude to or ignore a child, and suddenly we're friends, and I can no longer enjoy the party like the childless person I am. There are worse problems to have...

I think that the party should fit the hosts' preferences and needs. Screamhaunt's party sounds like a blast. If I was at that kind of party, I'd have fun; if I was at a no kids party, I'd have fun (unless things got too hairy). I'm guessing that if any of Screamhaunt's guests ever started acting inappropriately, something would be done.

_________________________
Melissa
My Halloween Links Page
My album (updated 9/19/04)

". . . he would have passed a pleasant life of it, in despite of the Devil and all his works, if his path had not been crossed by a being that causes more perplexity to mortal man than ghosts, goblins, and the whole race of witches put together, and that was--a woman." Washington Irving, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

I always put directly on the invitations, in big, bold, letters: Adults Only, Please. If friends with kids get upset, you should probably find new friends. I know I would appreciate knowing a party isn't appropriate for my kids BEFORE I get there.