Thread: What Should I Do About A Bad Neighbor

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You could always take some dog feces and throw it in the outdoors Air Conditioning unit, for weeks her house will smell like poo and they'll have no idea why.

This Message was brought to you by the people who put the LIE back in beLIEve.

FoLlOw Me To ThE eNd Of ThE wOrLd, AnD i'Ll Be ThE oNe To PuSh YoU oFf ThE eDgE.

Hey I resent that remark feces girl. Im a great neighbor, just not a nice person to annoy ........................

I'm the best at what I do, What I do isn't very nice

If your nasty neighbor has a view of your large window, you could begin putting on some very entertaining little shows for her, preferably behind a screen or shade where you can make it appear that absolutely anything could be going on. Cardboard cutouts can work wonders as they knife each other, rip off body parts. Then kill the lights real quick to make it seem more real, like something really happened and now it has to be hidden.
Maybe building a catapult in your yard with a brick in it's sling, pointed in her direction would prove to be a "Cold War" solution to this arms race. I always wanted to make an "Egg-Bazooka" to shoot at the kid in his loud, speeding pick-up truck that made me sit right up in bed every summer night at 12:30 as he went racing down the street on his way home. Spring-powered? Air-powered? Chemical expansion of gasses of some sort? HHHMMM??

"My Insanity is well-respected, until they wiggle free and become a stringer for a tabloid"

I LOVE bad neighbors!!! I have a street full. They are fun to deal with. Well I would start by making a cement tombstone with her name misspelled on it and face it to the street. If you want to wear something outside to get her goat try a towel. Have shorts or a swim suit under it but make it look like just a towel.

Fertilize your yard with horse manure. I do this one every year. Neighbors don't seem to like the smell of horses. LOL This is one I like to do as well. Dig holes in your yard at night under candle light.

Tell her you forgive her and look forward to living together as neighbors for eternity in heaven. Or you could ask her if God forgives her of all her sins will he know who she is?

Take a good picture of her and get it blown up big. Put it in a frame and hang it in a room she can see from her house.

Invite a group of good friends over and spend half a day making animal noises in the back yard.

This is another one Deb and I have done. Bark at the moon. It's fun and it really gets them talking.

Hang trash bag ghosts form your trees or awnings all summer long.





“I’m an expert on all of them. Even the ones I made up. But I’m not sure they all exist.”

Body, I bet you ARE a good neighbor. I just wouldn't live near you for fear that I might annoy you one day.

This Message was brought to you by the people who put the LIE back in beLIEve.

FoLlOw Me To ThE eNd Of ThE wOrLd, AnD i'Ll Be ThE oNe To PuSh YoU oFf ThE eDgE.

Anyone who regularly mows there grass annoys me. LOL





“I’m an expert on all of them. Even the ones I made up. But I’m not sure they all exist.”

I've an idea. It will work especially if she's christian and has no idea about any other religions.

What you will need:

Black clothing
Black (or black with re highlights) cloth
Candles, one larger than the rest (also preferably black)
Mushrooms (realistic; if cannot find brown or grey, go with black or red)


Put mushrooms in circles around your yard and make it look like they grew there overnight (AKA place them there at night). Leave them there for a few days, makeing sure she notices. Make sure they're securly down (I suggest "staking" them to the ground) so they don't tip over. Just make sure they look realistic MAKE SURE the circles are large enough for you to sit, stand, and kneel in. It should be as wide as the tip of your fingers on one hand to either your shoulder on the other side or the elbow of the other arm.

Put on your black clothing. Wrap the large candle in the cloth and go outside. Regularly (or even once) go out and sit in one or all of the circles, lighting 5 candles in the one you are sitting in. Place them as they were points of a star. Chant some jibberish but make sure to say her name at least 5 times, say it loudly, and make sure she's watching. Dusk would be best, but daytime would be sufficient.

Each time you say her name, draw a line to connect the points of a star. In the end it should look like a pentagram. In the middle of it have the largest candle burning (You will be standing at this point due to the drawing of the lines so don't worry about burning yourself). Write her name on a scrap of paper and make sure it's a BIG writing, just so's she can see it. Place it in the burning candle. Once it has completely burned, make sure you stare at her good and long. Either proceed to the next circle or pick up and go inside. Do everything silentely save the chanting.


Should freak her out enough and have her leave you alone. If not, go to her door and when she opens it chant the same jibberish and not blink at all.

Make sure to practice going over this inside so you can get the correct width of the circle, the correct jibberish, the best effects, etc etc.

I am but a wolf inside

I am the Mortal Google. DUN DUN DUN...

Well if she has already thrown a rock through your window then she has a bigger revenge streak than you do. Anything you do to piss her off will encourage her or justify her feelings. The best thing you can do is kill her with kindness. Be the best neighbor and send her birthday and christmas cards, offer to help her when she takes out the trash(keep your enemy's close). Then do the bad stuff when she isn't around. Make her think the other neighbors hate her.

Are you friends with anyone who owns a funeral home? If so put a "For Rent" sign up in you yard.. have your grandma tell your neighbor that you died and that she insists that your neighbor attends the service. Open casket of course and when she comes up to say her respects (or curses) jump out and grab her. Perfectly legal and she will hate you forever.

Im not going crazy.. its just a nice place to visit.

at night put on a werewolf outfit and put on a sound effects cd with werewolves howling when she pops her head out to look out she'll see a wolf like creature in your yard.When she calls the cops tell them that she has a history of mental illness and that she is a menace to society!

rod spain