The three wise T-Rex: an unorthodox holiday tradition.

**UnOrthodOx** · 12-19-2011,10:28 AM

Christmas, you see, just wouldn’t be Christmas without the three wise T-Rex…

…Who brought the gift of Christmas trees to baby Jesus. After they ate the flocks the shepherds left, that is.

What?

Yes, I get that all the time. Normally I just leave people to wonder what the hell I'm talking about. But, this year is special.

See, the sugar cookies have been a part of our Christmas celebration from, well, pretty much the beginning of our little family. Then, when Kyle was but a wee one, there was a little church program where the kids all drew a picture of the animals that were in the stable with Jesus. They each stood and told what they drew. There was a little sheep, and a little donkey, on Kyle’s turn he thrust his picture into the air and loudly proclaimed: “It’s a T-REX RRRRRRRAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!”

As it happened, Kyle being born on the 23rd, he happened to be having a birthday party at this same time, and I had made extra cookie dough for the party, and bought dinosaur cutters for the party, so there were these dinos next to all the christmas cookies…thus, the three wise T-Rex’s were born.

Ever since, 3 T-Rex’s have been cut when we make our annual cookies in remembrance, and the legends of their adventures get’s added to piece by piece. Always bothered me the shepherds left the flocks they were supposed to protect, so the T-Rex’s ate them. Another silly tale of how the stable animals all gave wool, or hay, or whatnot for the baby led to the need for the dinos to bring a present. Trees had to come from somewhere, right?

On hearing this explaination, a good friend has given us the official T-Rex holiday poem:

A Visit from the Three T-Rexes
by Zkribbler

Once before Christmas, a long time ago,
Three starving T-Rexes, filled with sadness and woe,
Drooled down at a sheep flock, so tasty and good.
They’d eat them up in a second, if only they could.

But the shepherds watched o’r their flocks carefully.
So t’was no chance for snacking for the T-Rexes three.
Then in the skies to the East, a wonder glowed bright
A star with a tail slipped soft through the night.

The shepherds gazed up, agog and amazed,
At the cold new-born star as it silently blazed.
They saw wise men three, upon camels and horse,
Ride toward a stable — rustic, common and coarse.

At the door, they all halted, these kings from the East,
Faced with a setting of hay, straw and beast.
They offered up frankincense, gold coins and myrrh.
They bowed down and worshipped, their treasures conferred.

From out of the stable, came a warbling cry
Of a new-babe’s complaining of his diaper, not dry.
The shepherds discussed what they ought to do
And they soon decided that they should go too.

So away from their sheep flocks, the shepherds hurried that night
To behold in the stable that most curious sight.
And lo, they soon found in the stable nearby
Mary and Joseph and the source of the cry.

The Messiah had come, to bring hope to the world
His halo glowed bright; His great glory unfurled.
Like the Kings from the East, these men bowed and they prayed.
To the world’s newest King, in swaddling handmade.

But up on the hillside, dinos chuckled and danced,
For the absent shepherds had provided their chance.
So down from the hillside, with a most horrible screech,
The three dinos charged, and grabbed each sheep in reach.

They chomped them. They bit them. They gobbled them up.
Sheep’s bleating. Good eating! A grand way to sup!
The flock tried to flee, but T-Rexes are fast.
They devoured them all, each one, to the last.

And after the last sheep’s blood did squirt,
T-Rexes looked ‘round for a tasty dessert.
O’r the hilltops, three kings rode away.
Hmmm, just the thing—three royal fillet.

With a bellow that shook the whole desert landscape,
The dinos charged forth; no, there’d be no escape.
The kings saw them coming and tried running away,
But hunting down kings was simple child’s play.

Melchior was munched, and Caspar gulped down;
Balthazar eaten whole (except for his crown).
T-Rexes stood grinning while spitting out jewels.
For wise men it seems, taste exactly like fools.

The dinos discussed then what they should do next,
Three well-fed and happy tyrannosaur rex.
“That babe’s been a boon to our fate here tonight.
We should thank him profusely; it’d only be right.”

“We need to bring gifts, for He too is King.”
“I think that I’ve got it! I know just the thing!”
The dinosaur ripped out a nearby pine tree,
And lickety-split, soon there were three.

Each of the T-Rexes held their trees by their stems
And covered them over with jewelry and gems,
‘Till the trees in the moonlight did sparkle and glow
Gifts for a king, theirs to bestow.

Three crowns topped the trees; silk sashes hung ‘round;
Such riches and gilt were sure to astound.
The dinos with trees made their walk to the stable.
In a story turned legend and then turned to fable.

How three starving T-Rex, on a cold winter’s night
Walked out of the darkness by a single star’s light,
How they brought trees of beauty for the newly-born child;
How they bestowed them and then went back to the wild.

And Mary heard them cry as they trudged out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!”