Thread: Kitty counsel.

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So....


We recently lost our 13 year old cat, Cosette. Not a surprise, she had been in poor health the last year.

Our kids adjusted fairly well, but our 3 year old Manx didn't. He suddenly was at our feet constantly, and had taken to chewing things when no one was home. (he thinks he's a dog, plays fetch and all..) Due to work schedules, 3 days of the week, the house is largely empty. This has been most stressfull for Indy (the Manx). And, as we were planning to get a cat anyway, just figuring to wait till after Halloween, we decided to look a little sooner to give Indy a friend.

Last night, a little black kitty declared us hers. My middle son, Alec has never been very good with animals, but she went right into his lap and curled up while the other kittens we were looking at pretty much scattered about.

So, we bring her home, and Indy (thinking he's a dog) initially wanted to trot right on over, sniff, and be friends. The new kitty is much more a cat, however, and wasn't having any of that. She spent the evening staking claim to various family member's laps whilst giving Indy the "mine" look.

We shut her into the 'cat room' with the food and cat boxes, leaving some out for Indy last night, as she hadn't used the cat box yet, and wanted to make sure she was left alone to do so during the night. I opened the door this morning, and we've had a staring contest between the two thus far. Indy now seems afraid of the newcomer, and she's doing her "mine" glare every time he comes near.

So, can/should anything be done on our part, or just let them work it out?

I know when we got Indy, we did the butter trick to get our older female to accept him. However, neither of them have that maternal instinct now, so I'm a little lost. Our work schedules prevent most of the online suggestions of supervising their behavior 24/7 or some such.

Awww so sorry for your loss. Even when ya know it won't be long it still hurts the heart! I can't help ya in the cat dept. never owned one. Maybe in time they will get used to each other.

I've had a lot of rescue cats over the years, I've always found the best way to get them used to each other is through play. I'd put them in a room together with just one person present so they don't feel too stressed and distracted. Get them playing with a bit of string or whatever cat toys you have handy, do this daily it really works. I wouldn't worry about keeping them seperate when you're at work. I've never done this with any of mine and not one of them has been injured. They need to establish who's the boss.

Also make sure they have separate litter trays (boxes) and keep their feeding dishes at a distance from each other. Mine all have a tray each and separate bowls. Otherwise situations like peeing in inappropriate places can occur, when they're forced to share their stuff.

They soon get used to each other, it's usually around a week normally. You could also try using a feliway plugin to calm them during the getting to know each other phase. Make sure when you stroke one the others getting equal amounts of attention. Even now my 4 cats give me an evil look, when one of them's getting fussed over and the others aren't!

Sorry about the loss of your cat, it's heartbreaking when you lose one of your furballs

I'm so sorry about Cosette - it really hurts even when you know it's coming.

I've adopted strays and shelter cats and usually unless you're adopting kittens, they won't ever be good friends but can learn to tolerate each other. I adopted two that were around 1-2 years of age and while they never acted thrilled to be with each other, they did occasionally play (tearing around the house bouncing off furniture chasing each other).

HSITUK's advice is pretty dead on in my experience. Separate food/water/litterboxes (especially litterboxes). We would usually bring in the new cat, give them a room of their own (kept by themselves shut off so they can get used to the room for the first day or so) and only let them out to interact with the established cat when we could be there to supervise. That way, new cat felt like if things got too weird, they could retreat to the safe room they were familiar with, and the established cat didn't feel like a new cat just appeared and took over "their" house instantly.

If things went well the first day or two, we'd start leaving the door of the room open and keep their dishes and box in there so they still had a retreat. After about a week, we'd move the box and food to the spot that makes the most sense (same general area as the established cat, and usually the new cat had already discovered them and used them as well). Eventually, we remove the 2nd bowl and water dish, but we have always done one cat=one litterbox thing, and never had an incidence of them going outside the box because of that, I think.

(and I love manx kitties.. we had one and he was such a sweet little goofball! Even the vet said that the manxes she'd seen over the years were all loveable goofs! )

don't have any wise words, but wanted to say I'm sorry to hear about Cosette.

Update on the situation:

Indy and Lily are getting along quite well now.

They had this standoff going. Indy would come try to be friends and Lily would give him a whack.

But, Lily also always wanted to be around us, and would follow us around the house, and cry if she got lost in a room alone.

Anyhow, the first "normal" day for the house (House completely empty for 4 hours or more), I got home to find them the best of buds, curled up on the couch together. They regularly play together now, but have some minor spats every once in a while. Indy has stopped his chewing, Lily is having a ball with (insert one of our childs toys here), but not too happy with me at the moment, the wielder of the 'no' bottle.

However, we have a new situation.

Lily is much like a 2 year old...it's a MAD DASH for the potty when the time comes. I don't remember either of the other kittens doing that. Anyhow, probably related to this, she's also taken to peeing in the upstairs bath tub when it is closer. (could be worse places) Now, this actually goes back to Cosette. See, Cosette really liked a clean box, and she would pee in the tub when the boys hadn't done their due diligance. But, we had that problem licked a while ago, with a regular cleaning schedule from the boys. However, I'm figureing there may be some residual smell indicating to Lily to head there. (really a tub is a strange place for cats to go. Cosette just did it to interrupt my morning shower...)

Anyhow, we (obviously) clean with regular stuff, but is there some special thing to get rid of the smell that must be trapped in the drain or something? (I know animals have much more keen smell about this than us)

I've used the enzyme cleaner specifically for removing urine on things like rugs in the past (you can get them at pet stores), but I'd try using drain cleaner first, as the smell may be trapped in the drain (with the soap/hair buildup). And then using a regular cleaner on the tub itself. I know cats typically don't like citrus, so anything you have with that sort of scent might help.

Keep in mind that if she stops going in the tub, she may want to go elsewhere that's more of a pain to clean up. I'd get a brand new litter box to see if that also helps...

Oh she goes in the litter boxes as well.

I think we licked that problem...

We noticed she'd only really do it at night. Well, see...our kitty is, apparently AFRAID OF THE DARK. The bathroom has a night light in it for our 4 year old. We'd noticed she always slept where there was a night light in the evening as well, and has always cried when we turned lights of if she was not right next to us. We put a night light in the catbox room last night and no problems.

Black kitty....afraid of the dark.

And I'll add this...OMG!! MY KINGDOM FOR A CAT THAT PEES IN THE TUB & NOT MY GOOD HARDWOOD FLOORS!!

I've been cat owned since, well, forever, & this is the first cat I've ever had that does this. He uses the boxes, we have 3, but every so often he just pees in the corner of the room. It's like Blair Witch Cat or something. He's got no urinary issues, he's already on the urniary problem food because the other cat has issues, he's the sweetest, friendliest, most laid back hairball I've ever had but the peeing in the corners. Oy vey.

I'm seriously considering writing Jackson Galaxy. I'm stumped. We've tried different litters, extra boxes, Feliway, scooping twice a day, I just gave up & buy Nature's Miracle by the gallon, use newspaper to soak it up & live with it.