Thread: a poem

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I have no poetry education, so forgive me if there are meter issue or whatever they're called. But here is a little something I wrote, changed to make it PG13.

It's called Virgin Bride

Buried alive, I thought, Just GREAT
Surely this can't be my fate
I could tear at satin, pound on wood
Knowing it would do no good

But I'll calm myself and save my air
Smooth my dress, twirl my hair
between my fingers as I wait
Knowing this can't be my fate

Nails bent back and fingers shredded
To escape the awful thing most dreaded
But escape from it, no one ever had
I'd rather accept this than go mad

But wait... what's this? No marks on me?
No embalmer's wand, no autospy?
Curiosity outweighed fear
I wondered what had brought me here

I remembered nothing, not a bit
No life, no love, no me; jack sh-.
The air grew thin, my eyes grew tired
My heart was slow but beat on mired

I asked the worms to spare my eyes
Spare my face, spare my thighs
Leave me ladylike at least
I would be a lovely feast

Sleep came heavy, gravity pressed
Against my barely moving breast
And into the darkness I did slip
But never did I lose my grip!

Should they find me I will be
Intact and with my dignity
No shredded satin or scratched up wood
I, in death, was sweet and good

But from my sleep I did awaken
My God! I thought, I’m not forsaken?
No detail came; but there was feeling
All my senses sent me reeling

Wood it splintered, hands reached in
And I saw his face, my love, my Sin
There it all came back to me
My life, my love, my entropy

His lips on mine burned like fire
Passion hot like funeral pyre
My demon lover laid me down
And there upon the holy ground

Saved my life by giving death
Fed me blood and took my breath
Under the misty cloudy sky
I drank to make the angels cry

When it came that I was sated
He kissed me in the way he’d fated
And on his iron horse we’d ride
The vampire and his virgin bride.

OH MY GOD....That was freakin' spectacular, beasties. That was a very emotional ride and I think I actually winced one time. Great work.

Great job!

I really enjoyed reading your poem ...I hope you will post more for us
a nice twist!

EXCELLENT work Beasties. I love that I had no idea where you were going and then you wrapped it up nicely with an exciting and unexpected outcome. GREAT JOB!

Thank you guys for the kind words.

NICE ONE, nightbeasties!!!

Nightbeasties, **applause, applause!!***, that was magnificent!! Who needs poetry education, please....you are QUITE the natural, obviously!!! Can't wait for more!!!

That's a really great poem. It's very reminiscent of Edgar Allan Poe's poems. Great work!!!

wow, i loved it! you really got my imagination going. what a twist was fated.