Thread: Women

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Here is what one could identify as a truely horrifying subject more cunning than the wolfman, more devious than Dracula, much crueller than Frankenstien's monster and a whole lot more terrifying than Freddy Kruger, Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers combined. It is, namely, the WOMAN and the idea of falling in love with one of them. And here is my lyrical spin on the subject:

Women are vicious
Their smiles are pernicious
They first suck you dry then they leave you for dead.
But you won't go away
You'll return and you'll pay
Cause their sweet false promises won't leave your head
So you'll give them your stocks
And the keys to your locks
And everything else that you prize and you own
Which they'll take without shame
While assigning you blame
For numerous nebulous sins to atone
So when love comes your way, turn your back and then say
That you're sick
Or you're dead
Or some other lie
Cause without this buffer
You'll writhe and you'll suffer
Since Cupid is really one sick little guy

So,I take it that you don't have a problem with women?!Here's one for ya:
For guys who are disgruntled and too dam old to do anything about it:


This is my Hell

This is my hell.....I know it so well!
This is my hell.....leading this life!
This is my hell.....I know it so well!
This is my hell.....with the kids and the wife!
(for all disgruntled married guys out there)

rod spain

I think that alot of the ways that women are can be traced back to the days of the caveman.
If you are smaller and physically weaker, you look for protection.
If you are smaller and physically weaker , you look for an ally, and if you are smaller and weaker , your choice of "weapons" in life will be words and manipulations therein.
The emotionalism of women was born of their bodies efforts to distract from the physical distress of child birth, hormones blocking alot of this pain with the glow of "Love" for their man and his child.
Of course, it's no "fun" for the man when this fades with time, or she gets too busy with their children or tired of having them.
All things change, we fool ourselves by trying to keep and preserve advantageous situations for ourselves by putting promises on paper.
Most religions were all man-based, instruments to help keep women "in line".
If your family tribe was fending for it's very existence in some harsh climate, this strictness and rules of the clan were very important, this really doesn't seem to exist much today, "Freedom" is something alot of people don't seem to handle very well, some basic thing still there that wants and needs someone to tell them what to do and when to do it. Modern life really gets confusing along the way, doesn't it!

"My Insanity is well-respected, until they wiggle free and become a stringer for a tabloid"

Wha'cha mean?Me,Mawg!Caveman!Ooowah Ooo wah!Where woman?!

rod spain

The problem is mostly that girls are insane
Their concerns are all petty, their problems inane
They haven't the sense to get out of the rain
But when they get wet they all scream and complain
They're selfish and flighty and lie with disdain
They take without giving except lots of pain
They'll make you a promise at the speed of a train
And when it's not kept they'll assign you the blaim
Why God doesn't like us is hardly a claim
What's that on their dresses? An applejuice stain




Your friendly neighborhood Wizard

Wimmenn!
Wimmenn are sed to be the farer sex
At least farer than Tyranesaouruz Rex
Not quite as tall, larger lips
Alot shorter, same width hips
scales instead of hair, or hair instead of scales
They alter from rex's to wimmenn, diffenence in their tails
A roar and a scream makes the jungle rattle
Wimmenn or Rex make the same echoy prattle
Wimmenn like it when i'm their clown
But no saddle fits wimmenn, can't ride them to town!

So where are all the Rex'ezz? Extinct they say
Untrue, wimmenn kilt them all, no competition this way!


"My Insanity is well-respected, until they wiggle free and become a stringer for a tabloid"

I'm staying away from this one!

rod spain

The song of the Rex is a sad one
But true
If not for your wife, Rod, you'd admit it
Too.



Your friendly neighborhood Wizard

David,those words of yours and Gym's have some significance to me.
Some of the women I have dealt with have been vicious you see
Played me for a sap as I treated them like gold
Now I'm still not that much wiser....just starting to get old

So I went and got married
once and then twice
I thought that the second one
would be the one that was RIGHT


Got two kids whom I love but always stress me out
my wife has gained some much weight that she can barely get about
My constant companions are my dogs that are so dear
they are the only ones that listen when I start to drink my beer

So I guess my calling is to survive all this hell
because I'm too dam old and I guess I'm starting to smell
To eye other women is nothing but a tease
because my momentum is too short as I try so hard to please

So to my workshop I go and create all my fake dead
drink my beer for all of the pain that stays in my head
playing music with my partner is about the only thing that gives me joy
Because after we get paid,I get to go out and buy more musical toys


But life goes on until the old ticker stops
my wife says that I'm getting old and cranky
she wants to take me to the veternarian
for the BIG DOT!

So this is my tale of women and woe
dis is life with my family
and there just ain't no mo'!

rod spain

Ain't Life Strange?

I was all of 38
Feeling fit and great
My wife said, "it's getting late."
"Not much left on your "Plate"
"Hair a- leaving, wrinkles growing,
Teeth-falling, old-age,.. Yer "Going!"
Deaf and Blind
I asked, "Do you mind?"
We are married, have these kids
Gave you every dime, nothing hid
"Hollywood" ain't calling you or me
But you need teeth straighter than they can be?"
She was determined I should have "Tough-Love"
She would dispense it wearing the slapping-glove!
"I don't think so at my age,
It's your misplaced angst, serving YOUR rage!
I came down here to the spooky house
She found herself a better meek mouse
This was all so many years ago
Other women I have since seen come and go
Much younger women, pretty, sexy, who liked me fine
I was surprised,yet they saw in me a fun time
Deaf, toothless, bald, crippled, ain't quite me
No matter what my ex wanted to see
Maybe i'm one of those "Lucky ones" that nature favors?
Having certain qualitys about me that a women savors?
"Naw! I just try to be real and treat them kind
Never being mean, or abandon them behind
I'm a "One-Woman man", at least "One-At-Time!"
My advice is guys, don't treat them rude
Whisper, "Next", don't yell it, that would be crude!

"My Insanity is well-respected, until they wiggle free and become a stringer for a tabloid"