There was a clown who found himself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the clown wanting him to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered the clown 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the clown could not answer one of his questions, the clown owed him $5, but every time the lawyer could not answer the clown’s question, he’d give the clown $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the clown reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?”
Without saying a word the clown handed him $5. Then the clown asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the clown $50.00
The clown put the $50 into his pocket without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”
Without saying a word, the clown handed the lawyer $5.
A clown had just totaled his car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, he managed to pry himself from the wreckage without a scratch.
When the state trooper arrived he said, “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK?”
“Yes, officer, I’m just fine” the clown said.
“Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the clown began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ….”
“Excuse me Mr. Clown”, the officer said “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. >…
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“That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.”
A young ventriloquist is touring and one night he’s doing a show in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb clown jokes when a clown in the 4th row stands up and starts shouting: “I’ve heard enough of your clown jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype clowns that way?”
“We clowns visit sick children in the hospital. We help make birthday parties fun.”
“It’s guys like you who keep clowns like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as an entertainer.”
“Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only clowns, but anyone who helps children, and all in the name of humor!”
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the clown yells, click to hide
“You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little guy on your knee.”
A clown has just gotten a new sports car. He accidentally cuts out in front of a big truck, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff.
The driver is a huge, mean bully. He gets out and draws a circle and tells the clown to stand in it.
Then he gets out his knife and cuts up the clown’s beautiful leather seats.
He turns around and sees the clown smiling.
So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting the clown’s windows and beating his car.
He looks back to see that the clown is laughing.
He’s really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices the clown’s tires.
He turns around and the clown’s laughing so hard, he’s about to fall down.
The bully demands, “What’s so funny?”
The clown says,
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“Every time you were
n’t looking, I stepped out of the circle!”
Two clowns lock their keys in the car. One of the clowns tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first clown says “Looks like I can’t get in the car!”
The other clown replies,
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“keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down.”