Thread: lame halloween joke time

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Originally Posted by ImWhisper

One of my boys' favorites.....



What did the skeleton say to the vampire?




You suck!

HAHAHA

I like that!

Give him a treat!

Ok here are some...

Why dont skeletons play in church?

Cause they got no organs!


Why won't the skeleton cross the street?

Cause he didn't have the guts!


What do you call a vampire who's trying to get to the nearest blood bank?

A cab!

hahaha lol :P

Which monster likes to fly kites in the rain?
Benjamin Franklinstein...

What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
I'll have two beers and a mop...

What did the mummy say to the detective?
Let's wrap this case up...

Why was the witch kicked out of witching school?
Because she flunked spelling...

When a witch lands after flying, where does she park?
The broom closet...

Why can't skeletons play music in church?
Because they have no organs...

How do you tell twin witches apart?
You can't tell which which is which...

What do you call a dead chicken that likes to scare people?
A Poultrygeist...

What room can’t a skeleton go into?
The living room…..

why wasn’t the little boy allowed to see the movie? It was rated ARRRGGH.

Do yee know wherrrre to send a sick pirate ship? To the Dock.

I’m a pirate, so what do yee suppose be me favorite snack. Chips Ahoy of course.

What do you call a pirate that skips class? Captain Hookey.

How much did the pirate pay to get each ear pierced? A buck-an-ear.

What did the old Pirate get? Arrrrrrrrthritis

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet ?Because they can spend years at C!

A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some rum. The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?" "Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"

What do you call a stupid pirate? The pillage idiot
What is a pirate's favourite type of music? Arr and B
What did the pirate get on the test? A high sea
What brand of clothes do pirates wear? Arrrrrrrrmani
Where does the pirate put his cows? In the BARNicle
What do you get when you cross a pirate with a zuchnni? A Squashbuckler!!!
What is a pirate's favorite dessert? Peach cobblARRRRR!!
What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? Rookie
Why do pirates always bury their treasure 18 inches below the ground? Because booty is only shin deep!
Why didn't the pirate take a shower before walking the plank? He knew he would wash up on the shore later anyway
What is the name of the pirate tax office? The Aye. Arrr. S!
Did you hear about the good mileage Cap'n Hawk gets out of his warship? He gets 35 miles to the galleon!
What's Captain Hook's favorite store? The Secondhand Shop!
What kind of laundry detergent do pirates like best? Tide!
How do pirates communicate, with an AYEEE phone
Why couldn't the pirates play cards? The captain was standing on the deck

You 'd roar too if you had crabs on your bottom.

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over a curb and stopped just inches from a plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the still shaking driver said, "Are you O.K.? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me."

The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder would startle the driver so badly.

The driver replied "No, no, I'm the one who's sorry, it's entirely my fault. This is my very first day driving a cab..........................
I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years."

Not sure if this is Halloween per se, but here does...

Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one turns to the other and asks,"Does this taste funny to you?"

I also have one to add to geigerwolfs pirate jokes:

A pirate (with a tiny steering wheel protruding from his zipper) walks into a bar. The bartender sees it and asks, "Is that a steering wheel in your pants?". The pirate replies, "AARRRRGH, and it's driving me nuts!"