A Police chaplin Was Here

**Gym Whourlfeld** · 09-21-2006,10:32 PM

Brought by his friend a social worker who has been to my house numerous times in the last two months.
The Chapiln had some jokes: Some friends of an incurable alcoholic decided to help him to mend his drunken ways.
The next time he got "unconscious" they carefully laid him in a freshly dug grave, they waitied, hiding around the grave to see what his first reactions would be when he awoke.
The sun was bright and he stirred, looked around himself , stood up in the grave looking out over the rest of the stones, a big smile on his face!?
He said, "Well look at this! It's the ressurrection , and I'm the first one up!"

A sort of similar joke went like this: A man wandered drunkenly toward home, but accidently stumbled into a mortuary and laid down in a comfortable coffin and went to sleep.
When he woke up and looked around at all the quiet company in the room with him he said to himself:"If I'm alive, what am I doing here, but if I'm dead, why do I have to pee so bad?"

Another "Grave" Joke:

A drunk taking a short cut through the graveyard fell into an open grave and just laid there saying, "I'm cold, I'm cold."
His drunken friend left the tavern to look for him, he heard the voice and eventually found the grave.
"I'm cold, I'm cold."
"No wonder you are cold," he said looking at the pile of dirt at one end of the hole,"You've kicked all your dirt off of you!"

**Skulkin** · 09-22-2006,07:04 AM

Great jokes, Gym! Here's another:

A hearse with a casket on the way to the cemetery sped out of control, without any brakes, down a hill where the road came to a "T". Going straight would've led the hearse into the lake, so the driver made a quick right. The casket slid, bumped the back door open and the casket rolled quickly down the street. It sped straight into a drug store, slammed into the pharmacy counter, the lid opened and the stiff popped out and sat straight up. The old almost blind pharmacist came over and said "Can I help you?". The stiff said "Yes, do you have something to stop this coffin?".