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I came up with this while writing a paper on Piracy... This was sometime around hour number 9...
Anyway, there's only a very few of them, so feel free to add your own thoughts.
1.) Vampires can't cross water of their own will, so they couldn't walk across the gang plank unless someone carried them
2.) The vampire would need to feed. Given he or she could feed on rats and other vermin, but if he or she decided to go after human prey, by the end of the voyage, the enire crew would either be dead or undead.. see [I]Dracula[I]
3.) Depending on which vampire story you read, the crew could only be above deck at night (Dracula could walk around in daylight, but had no power)
so these may not be incredibly funny, but i wasn't sure where else to put them... they were funny when i came up with them, but then i was probably delirious....
Results 1 to 7 of 7
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Reasons why Vampires would make bad Pirates
The Great Pumpkin
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- Jul 2005
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- The land of Kirshner
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Reasons why Vampires would make bad Pirates –
07-10-2006,07:23 PM
I'm crazy, you're crazy, we're all crazy. Let's shake on it.
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07-11-2006,04:23 AM
It is odd to see what one comes up with while drinking coffee at 3:00am.
Besides Vampire Pirates would be vulnerable to high kicks of the peg leg, splintering caused by cannon fire....fishing nets and vampire bats are a bad mix!"I never drink....wine. Well maybe just this once!"
Scary Naked Pagan Master
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The Great Pumpkin
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- Apr 2005
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- 249
07-11-2006,04:47 PM
Wow, way back in the far dusty corners of my childhood memories - I faintly recall a comic book that had a story about pirate vampires.... I wish I could remember more about it... I think I recall a bunch of coffins down in the ship's hold, and the vampires coming out at night and taking over the ship....
Anyway, yeah.... "Arrrr, I've come to suck your blood, matey" just sounds lame...
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spookiness in the suburbs
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- Jul 2005
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07-11-2006,07:31 PM
"Yo ho ho and a bottle of blood"
"Yo ho, yo ho, it's a vampire's life for me"
"What do you do with a drunken vampire"
The songs just don't have the same ring to them!Gothikim
"...I dress this way just to keep them at bay cuz Halloween is every day..."
http://www.blogcrypt.com/gothikim http://www.halloweengallery.com/index.php?cat=10271
http://s152.photobucket.com/albums/s166/gothikim
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07-12-2006,03:36 PM
Just need to change it up a bit, like...
Originally Posted by Gothikim
"Yo ho, yo ho. it's a SUCKY un-life for me!""I never drink....wine. Well maybe just this once!"
Scary Naked Pagan Master
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The Great Pumpkin
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- Aug 2004
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- Everett, WA USA
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- 415
07-18-2006,04:10 PM
Because a vampire never drinks…
…rum.
Roger"Rotting corpses make lovely fertilizer." -- The Dark Gardener
The Haunt at Havercroft 2006 (PHOTOS)
http://tinyurl.com/yxtjm9
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The Great Pumpkin
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- Sep 2003
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- Chicago
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07-19-2006,09:19 AM
What do you do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a druken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor, so early in the morning.
Put him in charge of an Exon tanker, put him in charge of an Exon tanker, put him in charge of an Exon tanker, so early in the morning." There could be no doubt of the design of my tormentors. Oh, most unrelenting! Oh, most demoniac of men! 'Death,' I said, 'any death but that of the pit.'"
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