Top Ten Signs You're Too Old to Be Trick or Treating
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!"
and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..."
and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge
your hair piece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
I could feel the soft, shivering touch of the lips on the sensitive skin of my throat, and the hard dents of two sharp teeth, there I closed my eyes in langorous ecstasy and waited, waited with beating heart-Bram Stoker
Top Ten Signs You're Too Old to Be Trick or Treat
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