This came from alt.halloween.boo
You Know You're a Hauntoholic When:
you're pestered all year by kids who want to know what the theme for
THIS year is?
you find yourself thinking that one corpse is more attractive than
another?
you get more excited over a fog machine than a dirty movie?
you have more help at your haunt than necessary for an old-fashioned
barn raising?
you have more than ten sound effect CD's?
you have names for the skeletons in your closet?
you play spooky music all year round?
you spend more on one Halloween than on your entire wedding?
you spend more on one Halloween than on your spouse for the entire
history of your marriage?
you spend more on one Halloween than on your spouse's anniversary?
you try to make Fido look like a hellhound every Halloween?
your neighbors look slantways at you and avoid you a full month before
Halloween?
your shed, basement, & attic contain nothing but Halloween props?
the only candelabra you own is in a spider web motif?
there's a monster under your bed because your attic/basement/shed is
full?
your electric bill higher in October than in July?
the family dog ignores masked individuals breaking into your house?
you see haunt possibilities with every road kill you cause.... ( oh, I
mean)...see
instead of giving your child a cat or dog did you give them a gargoyle
to play with?
your neighbors are asked about Halloween, do they roll their eyes and
point at your house?
the guy at the paint counter at the hardware store sees you coming and
starts stacking gallon cans of flat black on the counter.
you go to "Goth Night" at a local club, armed with a pocketful of
"volunteer recruitment" flyers.
you can't watch a horror movie without jotting down ideas every two
minutes.
you're nervous about taking rolls of film in to be developed, for fear
the police might show up at your house looking for the corpses that
the developer clued them in to.
you have a room in your house reserved for special props/projects, and
won't allow anyone in there because it'll "spoil the Halloween
surprise!"
you scare other family members or neighbors on a regular basis, often
without meaning to.
your ideal pet would be a black cat, a tarantula, a snake, a bat, or a
rat.
people refuse to walk into your house at night.
people refuse to walk into your house in broad daylight!
you have a customized license plate that has something to do with
Halloween.
you start actually setting up your yard haunt in August...
you still aren't finished on Halloween, but it'll do. Gotta start
earlier next year...
you cannot throw ANYTHING away that could even CONCEIVABLY be used to
scare someone. (Even if you don't know how yet...)
you judge homes by how well a haunt could be set up in them.
the boys in the white coats are afraid to come in your yard
your children turn their bedroom into a giant spider web by stringing
yarn everywhere and pretend to attack when you get tangled in it.
your 4 year old announces to the class that he/she wants to be a
Vampire when he/she grows up.
your toddler's first word is "REDRUM"
the Kids hiss at each other and make claws with their hands when they
fight.
it's not uncommon to see "Barbi" hanging in a Noose in you're
daughters room.
your teenageer wants his/her "own" coffin....
"Addams Family" books are the most commonly read children's books
laying around.
you still think your kids are well adjusted....
you read alt.halloween.boo in the middle of July.
FoLlOw Me To ThE eNd Of ThE wOrLd, AnD i'Ll Be ThE oNe To PuSh YoU oFf ThE eDgE.