Thread: Headstone "sayings" list

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HALLOW ALL!! WITH JUST 90 DAYS TO GO I THOUGHT WE MIGHT START A THREAD FOR EVERYONE TO CONTRIBUTE HEADSTONE EPITAPHS, SAYINGS, POEMS, ANYTHING THAT YOU WOULD CARVE ON A HEADSTONE OR OBELISK. FUNNY -- SERIOUS --- THEMED -- OR STOLEN IDEAS WELCOME!
I am always scanning through old posts to see what HF members have come up with. Absolutely the best assortment around! So this list should make it a bit easier for one-stop shopping when it comes to clever things to put on a headstone!

Who will go first? hmmmmm. BOO!

OK I've always wanted to be firts at something.

Here lies Sammy
Under the dirt
He should have stayed out
From under her skirt!

Sailor Billy was a pirate
Who drank more rum than water
One day he sipped a bit too long
On the lips of the Captain's daughter

Instead of workin'
Joe went fishin'
All those years
Now his hooks
Are old and rusted
And the worms are in his ears!

-Al B. Rightback-
-Alby Rightback-
-Alex Blaine Laider-
-B. A. Ghoul-
-Bach Agenn-
-Barry D. Alyve-
-Barry M Alyve-
-Barry M. Deep-
-Barry R. Bones-
-Ben Dover-

~ Dracula ~
Fangs for the Memories

"I know it's lightning outside!"

"I told you I was sick!"

I've been making tombstones for a few years now with our friends/family on them and personalized their epitaph with something unique to them. For instance, one of our neighbors is named Frank, and he used to always say "You're Killing Me! So I put on his headstone Francois YOU'RE KILLING ME!

Our son-in-law got a certificate online stating he is "ordained" (who knows why!), and last year when working in the house he managed to drill a hole through the palm of his hand using a power drill. So on his tombstone I put:

Father Geoff
To be a carpenter would have been a thrill
If he hadn't had
To use a drill


When our daughter gets irritated with someone or some company and feels justified in doing so, she writes them a letter. So on hers I plan on writing something like:

If in Heaven it isn't better,
Someone is getting a letter.


I've done others, but can't remember all the words right now. They're silly, but everyone seems to enjoy them and wants to have their own tombstones! It's fun trying to find the subject and then trying to figure out what to say.

Todd Knarley
When swimming out
away from beaches
a shark unseen came
into reaches
he swam as fast till his
last gasp and now
he rests in pieces

Steve Pxyzlqoprn
He couldn't pronounce
it neither

Here Lies Florence
she was a good Nurse
arrived in an
ambulance
left in a hearse

Here lies Frank
he loved chopping
wood
axe slipped from
his hands
we did what
we could

Here lies the count
apart from bride
stake trough the
heart
true love denied

The path to heaven
costs a fee
the road to hell
is always free

Here lies Henry
was not very old
rots in this grave
his skin growing
mold

Why o Why
did I have to die
life slipped from
my grasp
as time passed me
by

Once in awhile life
throws you a curve
get out of the way
or get what you
deserve

Ha cha cha cha I gots a million of em!!!

These are all SPOOK-TACULAR!! Keep 'em coming!!

Poorly lived
Poorly died
poorly buried
nobody cried