Thread: HELP! I need new jokes!

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Our newest prop is making a personal appeal for new material for our 2010 haunt. At the moment he is only a head but he will be a skeleton standing in our graveyard and holding his hand out like he was holding a server tray with his hat in his hand and his head in the hat.

YouTube- Headless


Oh, in case you were wondering, I was controlling his jaw and eyes live in the video using TrackSkull.

Take my wife's head... PLEASE!

Originally Posted by Yubney

Take my wife's head... PLEASE!

LOL! Hope she does not visit the site very often to read this...

How about something along the lines of:

"Everyone I know says I should have my head examined....it's at the shrink's office now! I'm just filling in for tonight."

"Wow, I can't explain it, but I'm really feeling lightheaded!"

"<screams VERY loudly for 5 seconds>then says, "Sorry about that...I just lost my head"

"Wanna drop 10 pounds instantly? Just do what I did... get decapitated!"

"I used to have a good head on my shoulders. Now I'm just an airhead!"

"Know anybody that want's to buy some decent used hats?"


I got a million of 'em! (well, at least half a dozen)

Originally Posted by Pumpkinhead625

How about something along the lines of:


"I used to have a good head on my shoulders. Now I'm just an airhead!"



I got a million of 'em! (well, at least half a dozen)

I love this one!. I found some on the Hauntworld forum, but so far this is my personal favorite! Thanks, and if you have more, keep-um commin'!

Do you know why the ghost couldn't get his girlfriend pregnant? He had a Hollow weenie!
What the difference between a cat and a frog? A cat has nines lives but a frog CROAKS every night!

There you go!

Originally Posted by cbonz2002

Do you know why the ghost couldn't get his girlfriend pregnant? He had a Hollow weenie!

I loled. My coworkers already think I'm crazy... this kind of thing just helps keep the suspicion up. *giggle*

Anyway, jokes...

This one is bad

One day there was a boy born with just a head. no body or arms or anything. The doctors told his parents that he would not live to see even a week of his life. The parents were heart broken.
But after a week, the boy was still amazingly fine. and so they took him home where he lived his life. On his 21st birthday his dad told him he would take him out to go get some drinks.
His dad lifted him up and they went out to the local bar for a couple of beers. His son had a beer set down in front of him and his dad was talking about how miraculous it was to have him still alive. Just then, right as the son took a sip, a body popped out. He took another sip, and out popped his arms, then his legs. Him and his dad were thrilled and quickly rushed back to break the good news to the mom. The son darted out in to the road and got hit by a truck where he instantly died. The father was crushed and hurried back into the bar. He told the bartender "Sir! Sir! my son just got run over and died!" All the bartender said was... "Shoulda quit while he was A-HEAD"

*****

The only reason I ever got a job was because I wanted to get a head in life.



Ok so I suck at this. *LOL*

Thanks everyone for helping us out. We really appreciate it. Keep 'em commin'.

We did some sample recordings today with my son doing the voice. This is going to be harder than I thought. This script should be short and easy to write but I guess I'm suffering from writers block. I don't know. We are thinking that he will be like a host or a master of ceremonies. He'll introduce himself and then go into a short monologue with a couple of the headless jokes. After that he will introduce the main program, Grimsley the horse drawn hearse coachman and his graveyard gouls. From there Grimsley. Maybe I should watch some comedy show and try and pattern it after that. They always have one comedian kind of hosting everything and introducing other comedians.

I had a much easier time writing the script for Grimsley and his bit is nearly 2 minutes long.

Great use of TrackSkull