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Thread: IRS Agent

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
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    Default IRS Agent

    This year we are doing 'Face your Fears' for a theme, part of my costume is a coffin, big fear 'buired alive'. As the night goes on I know I will take off the coffin so for a secondary costume I am thinking maybe an IRS agent...So, How to make that costume scary and funny????
    Man cannot live on bread alone.... (unless he is in a cage and that is all you feed him.)

  2. #2
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    Heh heh...I love it...

    You'll need a suit. Charcoal or navy. Black, if you want...though I'm the only one at work who wears a black suit (it is more intimidating, though). If you have long hair, wear it up -- tight bun, twist, whatever. Glasses, sure, especially if worn somewhat down your nose. You'll need an ID badge too -- easy enough -- you could use the kind worn around your neck, but some of us have badge wallets, that you can flash like, well, a badge, when you identify your victim.

    You'll need a briefcase. Inside the case, you'll need a calculator, of course, preferably the kind with a tape...and lots and lots of tape with numbers. Files, thick, with the names of your guests on them, indicating that yes, we really do know everything about you. And you could throw in a severed arm or leg, since that's what you took from your last audit once you found what he was hiding....

    Attitude -- very serious, stern, even grim. Suspicious. Make lots of eye contact, look like you're looking into them. Ask questions, respond with things like "mmhmm", and "I see" in such a way that it doesn't sound good. At some point, you'll want to use the phrase from my signature line. Make it clear that you know they're hiding something, that you already know what it is, and that yes, you will make them pay. Dearly.

    Of course, real auditors aren't like this (well, most of us, anyway)...but so what? This is the stereotype, and the stereotype is the fear.

    I want to see pictures!
    Hush, child, the Darkness will rise from the Deep, and carry you down into sleep

  3. #3
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    OH! Make sure one of the files is labeled "Mom"
    Hush, child, the Darkness will rise from the Deep, and carry you down into sleep

  4. #4
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    Auditor, I think you need to add a pocket protector and one of those mechanical pencils don't you? Maybe some Visine for eye-strain.

  5. #5
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    You might want to add a few shirts off the backs of your last customers. They sure have mine in there.

  6. #6
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    Great ideas. Now that I know what 'the Auditor' stands for I am SCARED!!!

    At first I was thinking about the MOM file, with my Mom having died, but then I remembered it is not My Mom, but my character's Mom.

    Now I need to come up with a good name such as when I was the Medical Examiner my Name was 'Betty Stiffins' ...Doctor during Space Oddisy 'Dr. Roz Well' Gravedigger 'Phil D Plotz' Etc.
    Man cannot live on bread alone.... (unless he is in a cage and that is all you feed him.)

  7. #7
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    You could probably through in the old "arm and a leg" from your last audit.
    How 'bout an adding machine that only types 6's.
    Carefully singe the suit because you're a dead IRS agent, and we all know where they end up.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by natascha View Post
    Great ideas. Now that I know what 'the Auditor' stands for I am SCARED!!!
    muhahaha...Face your Fears!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Madame Turlock View Post
    Auditor, I think you need to add a pocket protector and one of those mechanical pencils don't you? Maybe some Visine for eye-strain.
    Nono, no pocket protectors...we're numbers folks, not techies! 3SpookyChicks is an accountant...do you really see her wearing a pocket protector? Besides...now we have laptops...(Mechanical pencils are the BEST though....)

    Quote Originally Posted by Skullie View Post
    You might want to add a few shirts off the backs of your last customers. They sure have mine in there.
    Which explains your avatar! (Good idea!)

    Quote Originally Posted by rnrkid View Post
    Carefully singe the suit because you're a dead IRS agent, and we all know where they end up.
    You would think so, and in fact, this used to be the case. Then one of us died, and upon arriving down there, started nosing about, demanding to see all the receipts, and you wouldn't BELIEVE what he found! Well, end result, Hell Itself spat him back out, and since that day, we don't die. At our life's end, we join the Undead...just like all the other bloodsuckers out there.
    Hush, child, the Darkness will rise from the Deep, and carry you down into sleep

  9. #9
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    Based on stereotype of fears, you could add horns to the costume. No offense, Auditor!

    I haven't had bad experience with IRS... in fact a few years ago I was told I owed money, and asked for an extension... and they sent me an apology because it was their error. I thought that was pretty dang cool.

    These horn barettes are handy and available online.. easier to use than the kind you attach, if you don't need super-realism.

    Like these. http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/g...girl/horns.jpg
    Visit my vintage Halloween blog here on HalloweenForum.com

  10. #10
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    I have nothing to add but my laughter!!!!!!

    Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus

 

 

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